(A customer who’s about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

Me: “In the men’s department, as well.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks! I’m buying a Father’s Day present for my dad and grandfather!”

(I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I notice a few seconds later that he’s still there.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

This story is part of our Father’s Day roundup.

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Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

Customer: “Oh, duh. That was a stupid question.”

Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, haha! Walnuts!”

This story is part of our Stupid Eaters roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered

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Read the Stupid Eaters roundup!

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Electronics Store]. What brings you in today?”

Customer: “I need an electronic English to Spanish dictionary.”

Me: “Okay, right this way.”

Customer: “Does it talk?”

Me: “No. We don’t sell translators here.”

Customer: “This isn’t a translator?”

Me: “It will translate English words to Spanish words, but it won’t speak them. It will only show you the text.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! If I knew how to speak the d*** language, I wouldn’t need the d*** dictionary!”

This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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Customer: “Oh, you have new pastries! They look great!”

Me: “Those are our new vegan baked goods. They’re also organic.”

Customer: “Ew! I never eat anything vegan!”

Me: “I doubt that. A lot of stuff is vegan. French fries are vegan.”

Customer: *looking mortified* “There’s no meat in French fries?!”

This story is part of the French Fry roundup!

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(I am checking out a customer buying an MP3 player.)

Customer: “Does this come charged?”

Me: “I don’t think so. Why?”

Customer: “Well, I want to listen to it on the way home.”

Me: “But there’s nothing on it.”

Customer: “There’s not? Where’s all the music, then?”

This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

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