Irritated By Both Left And Right Humor

, , , , , | Right | June 17, 2020

A customer is watching a video while waiting for his order. My coworker tries three times to get his attention to ask if he wants it for here or to go, but to no avail.

I walk over to him and tap him on his right shoulder, hoping that he will look up and see that my coworker has been trying to get his attention. Instead, he looks over to the left where I have abruptly stopped after I realize it would be more appropriate for me to ask myself, since I am the one who tapped him.

Me: “Would you like your sandwich for here to go, sir?”

Customer: *Clearly irritated* “To go, please.”

At the counter, as he is paying:

Customer: “I’m curious why you tapped me on my right shoulder and then walked over to my left. Were you trying to play a joke on me?”

Me: “No, sir, I was not. I was only trying to get your attention for [Coworker], and I realized after tapping your shoulder that I should have waited there and asked you myself. Sorry if I scared you.”

Customer: “I’m not scared; I’m irritated at you.”

Me: “Oh. Again, I apologize; I really was only trying to get your attention.”

He then spent the next minute ranting to my coworker that I shouldn’t have played that “joke” on him. At that point, I, too, became extremely irritated but I distracted myself with cleaning to avoid any further contact with him. My coworker simply smiled and told him to have a nice day.

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They Should Abandon This Ship(ping)

, , , , | Right | June 17, 2020

I work in a call center and distribution center for diet pills. Our company sells a common product, and a lot of companies have similar brand names. People get confused a lot.

Caller: “I need to return these products.”

I take all of his information and nothing is coming up in our system.

Me: “Sir, are you sure you ordered with our company?”

Caller: “Yes! You sent me pills from [address] in Colorado!”

Me: “Sir, we’re located in [City]. We only ship from [City].”

Caller: “How do you know?! You’re just a stupid rep!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sitting in a chair in [City], and I can see our shipping department from here.”


I transfer him over and my supervisor sits for a few minutes, listening.

Supervisor: “Well, sir, I know we ship from [City] because I’m sitting in my chair in [City] and can see the shipping department from here.”

The caller hung up.

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Unfiltered Story #197443

, , , | Unfiltered | June 17, 2020

I work as an attendant at a gym. We have several policies concerning proper attire when working out in the gym. Our rules are simple, just have shorts and shoes. They don’t even need to be workout shoes, just we require shoes. This particular member was strange in every way possible

Member- Hi I was just wondering if you could show me how to use a certain piece of equipment. “Obviously new to the gym and probably never used workout equipment either”

Me- Sure! ” Proceeds to walk over with him to the gym floor. The member is wearing Khakis and sandals which is an violation of our gym policy of proper workout attire.”

Me- Before I show you how to use this equipment, I just wanted to let you know that our policy requires that you have proper workout attire. Khakis and sandals can hinder your mobility and you may drop weights on your feet which is a safety concern. I’m going to have to ask you to change your attire before you workout.

Member- “Has a blank stare for a good minute” Proceeds to ask me “Do you have anything else to say?”

‘Me- Confused I ask him “What do you mean?” You cannot work out in Khakis and sandals because its our policy. The rules are even posted behind me on a big poster.

Member- *Literally does the same thing with the blank stares and asks me “Do I have anything else to say”

Me- “Getting a little annoyed at this point but I keep my cool and keep repeating our policy.”

Member- “Well I left my shoes and my shorts at my apartment.”

Me- It doesn’t matter, rules are rules and you need to abide by them, I don’t know what else to tell you, even if you talk to my supervisor they will say the same thing. If you keep this up your membership will get revoked.”

Member- *Frustrated, he picks up his bag and says okay.

Me- “Well enjoy the rest of your day”

Only One Brain Cell Per Customer

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2020

On certain sale items, there is a limit on how many a customer can buy. For this particular item, it’s limited to one per customer.

Customer: “Excuse me, how much are these?”

Me: “Those are $6.99, but there is a limit of one per customer.”

Customer: “Oh.”

The customer puts two on the counter.

Me: “No, you can only get one.”

The customer just stares blankly. I repeat the above two lines about three times.

Me: *Giving up* “Okay, then, I’ll just ring these two up and your total is—”

Customer: “Oh, wait! $6.99? Can I get two more?”

Me: “No, these items are one per customer. You can only buy one. I’ll give you these two but you can’t buy any more. Because you’re only supposed to buy one. Because there’s a limit.”

The customer just stares blankly again.

Me: “You see this item? You can only buy one but I’m letting you buy two. You cannot buy more.” 

Customer: “Oh… Well, okay, then.”

She paid and walked off with a confused look on her face, still not quite understanding.

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Unfiltered Story #196535

, , | Unfiltered | June 14, 2020

[I just came out of middle school, being hungry and all. Me and my dad decided to go to Starbucks and get me a Peppermint Frap. The employees in there are always nice to me, and offer me discounts, because I managed to get the Gold membership. It was going well ’till this happened…]

Cashier: Hey kiddo, what do you want?
Me: Hi! One Peppermi-
Me and My Dad: We don’t work here. We’re just customers, like y-
Manager: What’s going on?
Me: I don’t work h-
Woman: This kid is not doing his work! Look! He’s dressed like all the other Starbucks employees!
Dad: That’s because he doesn’t work here. He’s JUST A CUSTOMER!
Manager: Yeah, he’s a minor, we don’t ac-
*My dad actually secretly called 911.*
Manager: Now stop i-
Police Officer: What seems to be the problem?
Cashier: This woman is yelling at the poor kiddo.
Police Officer: I don’t think that would… Oh.
Everyone [Including the manager]: HE DOESN’T WORK HERE!

*woman storms out, forgetting her purse…*

Police Officer: Well that was fast…
Manager: You okay?
Me: I’m scared now…
Police Officer: I’m glad that I was called near my lunch break. Here, i’ll buy you what you want.
Me: Peppermint Frap, please?
Police Officer and Dad: Sure.
*Me, Dad, and the Officer took a selfie with our food and drinks *

[A Week after, the police called us, and apparently arresting the lady. She was found to do that around my area to any Asians in the stores. The manager from Starbucks also called and apologized for had happen, he also gave me a $50 gift card. That made my day. I still go to Starbucks to this day, but am afraid of the incident.]