How To Start A Pillow Fight In Six Words Or Less

, , , , , | Romantic | February 28, 2021

My family is taking a redeye flight across the country. The plane has a two-five-two seating configuration and I am sitting on the side with our older daughter while my wife sits directly behind us with our younger girl.

When I sit down, I look around for pillows and can’t find any, so I call a flight attendant.

Me: “Are there any more pillows available?”

Attendant: “I’m sorry, sir, but they are all given out.”

At this point, my spouse leans forward with her pillow and offers it.

Attendant: “This lady said you can have this one.”

Me: *Without hesitation* “That’s no lady; that’s my wife.”

Attendant: *To my spouse* “He’s been waiting forever to use that, hasn’t he?”

It took me several years to live that one down.

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Baja Backroom Blah Blah

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2021

While I usually just handle the inventory, I occasionally deal with customers in the morning and answer the phone when we’re short-staffed.

Me: “[Bookstore], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey. I’m looking for a travel guide to Baja, but the latest edition doesn’t come out until February. Do you guys get things in before the official release date?”

I am thinking she’s probably asking if it’s a hard restriction, which it is, or whether she can reserve a copy.

Me: “Yep, we’re just not allowed to sell them before the release date.”

Caller: “What about a backroom deal?”

Me: “Ma’am, are you asking me to illegally sell you a book?”

Caller: *Very cheerfully* “Yes!”

I ended up having to explain to her that we could get in VERY serious legal trouble with the publishers if we sold a book before its release date. She was very polite but seemed shocked that there would actually be serious consequences for breaking the rules.

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They Have 20-Dollar-20 Vision

, , , , , , , | Right | February 25, 2021

I work in EMS. I got off work after 2:00 am due to a late call, and I am headed back in to work for my 10:00 am shift after less than five hours of sleep.

I stop at the nearby superstore to get a few odds and ends and a farewell card for a coworker whose last day is coming up soon. While checking out at the self-checkout, I request $20 cash-back to use to purchase lunch later. 

Two and a half hours later, I am thinking of getting lunch and I reach for my wallet to make sure I have the $20 to use to pay… but it isn’t there. I left it in the self-checkout register. I realize my mistake, tell my coworkers, who good-naturedly laugh at me as I call myself an idiot, and promptly drive down the road to the store hoping there is any chance of getting my cash back. 

When I arrive at the store, receipt in hand, and tell the girl at the self-checkout my story, she apologizes and says she wasn’t there earlier but will ask someone who was. Her coworker immediately walks over to the main self-checkout register and reaches under it to pull out my exact $20 bill, with a duplicate receipt to prove it is mine. Once he sees that my receipt matches, he gives me the $20!

Then, I am on my way, feeling like the luckiest person in the world because no one else swiped my cash and the earlier self-checkout worker caught my blunder and saved it. 

I cannot thank these employees enough; they really restored my faith in humanity. I’ve already submitted an absolutely glowing review on their company survey site, but I felt they needed a little more recognition here.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for February 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for February 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for February 2021!

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Fat People Deserve Better

, , , , , , , | Healthy | February 18, 2021

I’m having chest pains after eating, and it finally becomes bad enough that I go to the doctor. I’m a rather tall 240 pounds. I’m sitting in the exam area waiting for someone to come in when the doctor walks in, looking at a chart.

Doctor: “Mr. [My Name], your problem is that you’re grossly… Wait. You’re 6’9″. I was going to say that you’re obese but you’re not, are you? I guess I’d better examine you.”

After actually examining me and talking to me, I get meds for GERD. But he sure was quick to dismiss me in the beginning.

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A Rollercoaster Of Emotions

, , , , , | Right | February 18, 2021

I’m a ride operator at an amusement park. Most coasters require a height of 4’0”. It assures that the rider will be safely secured through the ride. A little girl comes up with her mom and I notice that she’s extremely small so I kindly ask her to exit the train before take-off and stand against the measurer to make sure she’s riding safely.

Me: “Hey! Could I have you take a quick stand against the post here to check your height?”

Mother: “Don’t do it.”

She looks away from me.

Me: “Hmm, all right, ma’am. I’ll just need to measure her to make sure it’s safe for her to ride. Otherwise, I can’t let the train take off.”

Mother: “I said no! Get out of my face!”

It’s 104°F out, I’m in full “cowgirl” attire, and I’m just trying to get through the day. I’m sweaty, I’m tired, and I’m annoyed. I have my dispatcher release the hand bars and everyone sighs. The woman pulls hers and her daughter’s back down. Again, I have them released.

Me: “Ma’am, we can do one of two things. I can measure your child and we can move on from this, or I can shut down the coaster, call security, and have you escorted from the park.”

Mother: “Get off the d*** train, go stand on your tippy-toes like I told you, and hurry up!”

The child is very visibly about a head too short to ride.

Me: *Talking to them both* “I’m so sorry, but it doesn’t look like you’re quite tall enough! We can have your adults take turns and I can help by getting you in through the exit to a ride of your choice that you can safely ride!”

My life flashed before my eyes and all I saw was the child’s mom jumping out of the train and straight at me. She grabbed my hair, started yanking on my suspenders, and screamed like a wild woman. I had to literally kick her off of me for trying to keep her kid safe!

Eventually, security got there and pulled her away and escorted her out… through the employee back lot. I’d say I was surprised, but it’s even more surprising how many people put their kids at risk for a short ride.

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