(I’m babysitting my two nephews at my house. The eldest is six and the youngest is four. They have spotted my exercise bike and immediately hop on it to see how fast they can pedal. I sit nearby to keep an eye on them while they get some of their energy out, and overhear the following:)

Eldest Nephew: *viewing the ‘calories burned’ display* “Wow, [Brother]! You sure got a lot of points!”

(My store’s sump pump has stopped working and caused raw sewage to back up into the store. We have closed the store until the plumber is able to fix the problem and a hazmat team can come and clean everything. All the doors have signs saying we are closed. Unfortunately for me, policy says that whenever workers are in the store a supervisor has to be in the store with them as well. I am that supervisor. I am sitting in the customer area in one of the only spots I can sit without being in sewage. Since we closed customers have come up, read the sign, and left. A few tried the handle first, then when they couldn’t open it read the sign, and left. I’m sitting in the back watching but there isn’t much I can do. A customer comes up to the door and tries it. It doesn’t open. She pulls harder. She walks around to the other door and tries that one. Then she goes back to the first and then back to the second. She then comes over to the window that is next to where I am sitting. There is a shrub that runs the length of this side of the store from the door all the way back. She forces her way through the shrub and starts banging on the window. She bangs harder. Finally I get up because she isn’t leaving and go to the side door, the one closest to her.)

Me: “Ma’am, we’re closed.”

Customer: “Finally! Your doors are stuck.”

Me: “No, we’re closed. They are locked.”

Customer: “It’s very unprofessional for you to just be sitting on the job. It’s very lazy of you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed. We are having technical issues and I can’t let anyone in.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve been here for 30 minutes and I demand a drink for free! I got mud all over my shoes and it’s your fault for having doors that wouldn’t open!”

Me: *standing near sewage* “Ma’am, we’re closed. I am closing the door now. Our competitor is across the parking lot. I suggest you go there.”

(I then close and relock the door, not sure how she has missed the horrible smell that is coming from the store. After a few more minutes she leaves in a huff. The next day I’m working and the phone rings so I pick it up.)

Customer: “I came by yesterday and the person working was being lazy and locked the door because they didn’t want to help anyone! Because of them my shoes were ruined and I was late getting back from my lunch break!”

Me: “Ma’am, that was me. We were closed, the door was locked, the lights were out, and there were signs. What else did you want us to do?”

Customer: “Well, Google said you were open, so you should have been open!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we can’t know ahead of time when things are going to break causing us to close the store. I’m hanging up now.”

(And I did. She left a one star online review about us not being open during business hours and the lazy employees.)

(I am hanging out with some friends between classes. One of my friends has her two-month-old son with her, and I’m holding him. Another friend joins us, bringing along one of their classmates that the rest of us haven’t met before. We’re chatting, and someone asks the classmate what their major is.)

Classmate: “I’m an engineering major.”

Friend #1: “Me, too!”

(They go around the group, talking about their majors, and then they get to me.)

Classmate: “What are you doing, [My Name]?”

Me: “Oh, I’m nursing.”

(The classmate gets a weird look on his face, and he glances at the baby in my arms.)

Me: “Major! I’m a nursing major! This is [Friend]’s baby!”

(I work in a small print and design shop inside of an office supply store. For whatever reason, from the day I was hired, the supervisor of the shop immediately hated me. No one else at the location has a problem, and I even built a customer base of folks that will specifically request me when they come in. One such client is employed at the church down the street, and needs help setting up a basic newsletter design for weekly printing. After a week of work and numerous proofs, the client is happy with how things are progressing. I have two days off, and when I come back in, I see the newsletter is changed around entirely. Since none of the other shop employees would have touched a customer’s file without the customer’s permission, I assume the customer requested these changes while I was gone. I review the changes, send an updated proof to the client, and make my recommendations, as usual. Some of the recommendations include advising AGAINST some of the changes, like switching random blocks of text to Comic Sans, among others. Later that day…)

Supervisor: “Would you care to explain to me what’s going on here?!”

(She angrily shoves a sheet of paper at me, which I see is a printed copy of the email I sent to the client.)

Me: “Uh, it’s my recommendation to [Client] for the most recent version of her newsletter.”

Supervisor: “I’M the one who made those changes and I don’t appreciate you trash talking me to other customers! Those were just ideas I had for the newsletter and you didn’t need to send them to her!”

(She storms off and interrupts the store manager in her office, to show her the printed email and complain about me. The two spend some time in the office, and then the supervisor storms out. She won’t look at me or talk to me for the rest of the day. I go find the store manager when I have a spare moment.)

Me: “So… what on earth is up with [Supervisor]?”

Manager: “She brought me a copy of that email you sent and accused you of talking s*** about her to customers. I pointed out that you never once mentioned her name in that email, AND that I have a degree in graphic design and everything you recommended to the customer is legitimate. Mostly, I think she is pissed off that we both disagreed with her choices. I told her you handled the whole situation in a very professional way and that I didn’t see anything wrong with it.”

Me: “Wow.”

Manager: “You know, when [Other Employee] said he thought [Supervisor] was jealous of you, I didn’t really believe him. But now? Now I see it.”

(For a while we had these bouncy balls with pretend fish in them and when one was on its stand it would look like the fish were swimming. An eight- or nine-year-old boy grabs one and bounces it hard on the ground.)

Boy: *looking disappointed* “Aw, I thought it was glass.”