Blind-siding Stereotypes

, , , , , | Right | May 23, 2011

(I work at a start-up company in a very small office space that used to be a window shades store. We occasionally get people knocking on the door looking for the old business. A gentleman knocks on the door and I talk to him.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought these blinds, and they don’t fit my window.”

Me: “Oh, you’re at the wrong place. That was the last tenant. This isn’t a shade store anymore.”

Customer: “Oh, but in the phone book this is listed.”

Me: “I know. He hasn’t updated it. We’re not a shade shop. I hope you get help with your problem.”

Customer: “Well, you might be able to help. You’re a woman. Women put up blinds a lot.”

1 Thumbs
1,550

Be Glad She Didn’t Ask For Cream

, , , | Right | May 18, 2011

(An elderly woman comes into the store very early in the morning.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Give me two of those muffins.”

Me: “Sure thing, anything else?”

Customer: “Actually, make it three. They’re kind of my fetish, you know?”

1 Thumbs
1,285

Ticketing System, Not Ticket In System

, , , , | Right | May 17, 2011

(Our theater has two methods of buying tickets. The box office outside, and the indoor computerized ticket kiosks, which accept only credit cards.)

Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me what that machine does?”

Me: “That’s an automated ticket kiosk. You can avoid lines at the box office by either purchasing tickets from it directly, or picking up will-call tickets.”

Customer: “Well, when is it going to give my ticket back?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I saw the machine, and didn’t know what it did. I put my ticket in here.”

(He points to the credit card slot.)

Customer: “Now, I can’t get it out.”

(I am silent as I try to work out how to respond.)

Customer: “So, can I go see my movie now?”

Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry to inform you that you no longer have a ticket.”

1 Thumbs
1,858

When Bowels Camembert It Any Longer

, , , , | Right | April 28, 2011

Customer: “Can I get a quesadilla with guacamole, but no sour cream? I’m lactose intolerant.”

Me: “You do realize that a quesadilla is just cheese in a flour tortilla, right?”

Customer: “I do. You should pray you never have to live in a world where you can not eat cheese without incurring the wrath of your own bowels.”

1 Thumbs
2,199

Flipping Around The Store Is A Flop

, , , | Right | April 11, 2011

Me: “Do you need help finding anything, ma’am?”

Customer: “Well, I bought these certain flip-flops ten years ago, but you don’t seem to carry them anymore.” *wistful sigh* “They were so comfortable.”

Me: “You could always check out our website online. You might find them there.”

Customer: “Oh! That’s one of them nifty internet things, right?”

Me: “Sure.”

1 Thumbs
1,251