(I work part-time at a department store. I am in a bad mood about some trivial things when a very nice man comes up to the cash register to buy something. We are having a pleasant, even fun, conversation. After I learn that he is from a foreign country, I ask:)

Me: “Are you here [in Southern California], for business or pleasure?”

Customer: “Pleasure. I am here with my two little kids.”

Me: “Have you been to [Amusement Park #1]?”

Customer: “Yes, and to [Amusement Park #2], [Amusement Park #3]… All over.”

(Then he points to a surgery “bump” on his mostly bald head and says matter-of-factly:)

Customer: “I have a brain tumor, and I won’t be here much longer. I want to leave my kids with as many pleasant memories of me as possible.”

(I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to say, so I just continued in silence. Then, he went to buy something in another department, but before he left the store, he came out of his way to shake my hand and thank me. I felt ashamed of myself for being in a bad mood over such trivial things.)

(I am a dental assistant, and I am stopping by [Store] after work one evening to pick up some cat food when I am flagged down by a woman.)

Woman: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Um, yeah?”

Woman: “Finally! Can you tell me if a curling wand is better than a curling iron?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: *angrily* “Are you lying to me?”

Me: *a bit confused* “No, I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: “Then why are you wearing a [Store] uniform?”

Me: “Oh, these are scrubs; I’m actually a dental assistant. If it helps though, I just bought a curling wand last week and I liked it.”

Woman: “Well, you shouldn’t come to the store dressed as an employee; you’re just confusing everyone!”

Employee: “Is everything okay here?”

Woman: *increasingly angrily* “She’s impersonating an employee! Isn’t there some rule about not wearing the store’s uniform if someone doesn’t work here?”

Employee: *quite confusedly* “Well, she’s wearing blue. We wear red and tan here.”

Woman: *shouting* “Everyone here is so rude!”

(The employee and I exchange looks, and when she’s out of earshot we burst out laughing.)

Employee: “You’re wearing scrubs, for God’s sake! Is she colorblind or something?”

Me: “The worst part is, this happens every time I go shopping in my scrubs. This was just the most… interesting incident.”

(I work at a movie theater, and this happens almost every time there’s a line for a popular movie.)

Me: *collecting tickets* “Theater four, last door on your right. Enjoy the movie. Theater four, last door on your right. Enjoy the movie. Theater four, last door on your right. Enjoy the movie. Theater fo— your movie started ten minutes ago. Theater one, first door on your left.”

(Apparently, some people see a line, and they just get in it.)

(I work in an auto shop.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, the check payment you guys sent me for my car bounced, and the funds were reversed.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I do apologize about that. Let me take a look on your file.”

(I look at the file and it appears that she only gave us an application to get a title and not an actual title.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, it looks like when we received your title at the yard, it wasn’t actually a title; it was an application. We tried contacting you to owner-retain the vehicle and send it back to your house, but you never answered or returned our calls.”

Customer: “I didn’t receive any of your calls. The agency that referred me to you said that the application would be sufficient.”

Me: “When we took down your file, ma’am, we asked if you had a title. You said that you did. So, unfortunately, at this time all we can do is contact the yard and send the vehicle back to you, since your end of the verbal contract wasn’t completed.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! I’m going to call the local police and tell them that I never gave you the car and that you stole it.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you would be charged with filing a false police report, since we have records of you agreeing to have the car picked up with a title.”

Customer: *click*

(During a break between classes, my friends and I are standing in the hallway talking. One of my friends has a plate of food from her culinary class in one hand and a drink in the other.)

Friend #1: “How am I supposed to eat this with my hands full?”

Me: “Here, let me give you a hand.”

(I reach over and grab the fork off her plate and start spearing pieces of food and holding it up to her mouth to eat. This proceeds until the plate is empty as we all keep talking.)

Friend #2: *after staring at us with a weird look* “Why did you feed her? Wouldn’t have been easier to hold the plate for her or hold the drink while she took bites?”

([Friend #1] and I freeze and then stare at each other in disbelief, as that thought hadn’t crossed either of our minds.)

Me: *as everyone is laughing now* “Why didn’t any of you say anything earlier?! You just let me feed her for the last five minutes!”

Friend #2: “Honestly, I didn’t think either of you were that stupid, so I assumed there had to be a reasonable explanation for why you did it that way.”

Me: “Yeah, well, you got that wrong.”