(I am a regular customer to this restaurant, which has paper menus. I am trying to order at the register when another customer walks up and interrupts me.)

Customer: *while holding one of the paper menus* “Do you have the menu in English?”

Employee: “That is an English menu, sir.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The other customer walks off and I try to place my order again. However, before I can finish the same guy comes back again.)

Customer: “Are you sure this is English? What is this?”

(He points to a section on the menu that I can’t see.)

Employee: “That says, ‘a la carte.’ It’s English, sir.”

(I work for a non-profit medical clinic. Because the county we operate in provides a pretty broad range of services, we have a lot of patients who labor under the belief that we are associated with the county. We are not and never have been. I overhear my colleague who is working the front desk engaging with a patient.)

Patient: “So you’re part of the county, right?”

Colleague: “No, we are in no way associated with the county.”

Patient: “Oh, so you contract with them?”

Colleague: “No. We are not contracted by, subcontract with, or in any way work for or answer to the county.”

Patient: “So, you’re subcontracted with the county.”

Colleague: “No, we are not. We are in no way, shape, or form any part of the county services.”

Patient: *sounding confused* “Oh.”

(A moment later.)

Patient: “So can you send [paperwork] through this fax machine?” *gestures at printer*

Colleague: “That isn’t a fax machine.”

Patient: “Can you fax it from here?”

Colleague: “No, we do not have a fax machine here.”

Patient: *confused* “Oh.”

(After the patient has been called in to see the provider.)

Me: *to Colleague, teasing* “So hey, [Colleague], aren’t we part of the county?”

Colleague: *throws hands in the air* “Apparently!”

Me: “Someone should tell [Boss]. He won’t have to worry about that [specific] grant anymore!”

(I work at a fast food place. A customer comes up to the front counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I ordered a triple burger and you only gave me a double.”

(I have just gotten off my break.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. My coworker must have gotten the wrong order. May I see the burger?”

(He hands me the bag, which has a triple burger in it.)

Me: “Sir, that is the triple burger.”

(He huffs and walks away only to come back a minute later with the bag.)

Customer: “If it’s a triple burger, why does it only have two pieces of meat?”

Me: “May I see it?”

(Carefully, I grab the burger by the wrapper and open it up, using the wrapper, and count three.)

Me: “Sir, there are three.”

Customer: “What? Where?”

(I point and count out three, still holding it by the wrapper.)

Customer: “You just touched it! Why would you touch it?”

Me: “Sir, I was very careful; I only touched the wrapper.”

Customer: “Can I get a new one anyway?”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I took his food and threw it away and had a new burger made, so he wouldn’t get a second for free like he wanted.)

(A new employee at our company has requested a mobile phone; this is not something we normally provide, but the user is insistent and his manager has approved the decision.)

New Employee: “Hi, I came down because in the email it said I was approved for a [base mode], but I need a [premium model], instead.”

Me: “We don’t normally purchase those for anyone below the executive level, as they are considerably more expensive than the [base model].”

New Employee: “No, it absolutely must be a [premium model]. Only [premium model] has the features I need. I cannot do my job without it!”

Me: “Okay, we’ll order one for you.”

(The man goes away satisfied, and then comes in about ten minutes later.)

New Employee: “If it turns out I don’t like it, I can just give it back to you guys, right?”

(I’ve purchased my first home, so on Black Friday I take advantage of a large electronic store’s sale to order a full set kitchen of appliances for $2,700, regularly $3,400. The order goes through, but the website is not allowing me to set the delivery date on one of the appliances, so I call the customer service line. The woman sets the date for me, and I hang up and refresh my page to find that, instead, my whole order is cancelled. I call back again.)

Me: “Hi, there seems to have been an error. I just called to set a delivery date on my order, but I’m now seeing that my order was cancelled.”

Customer Service Representative: “Oh, no! I can fix that for you! I see you ordered under the Black Friday sale, and that is no longer happening, so it looks like your new total is $3,400, with tax. May I get your card number?”

Me: “Um, no. See, I didn’t cancel my order. I spoke to one of your reps to set the delivery date and it seems they cancelled the order by mistake. It doesn’t seem fair that I’m penalized $700 dollars because of a mistake I didn’t make.”

Customer Service Representative: “I understand why that might be frustrating, but the order was cancelled and that sale is no longer happening. Do you still wish to order?”

Me: “Me wanting the appliances has never changed, as I never cancelled the order. Your service rep did. I can afford $2,700; I cannot afford $3,400. That’s why I purchased them on sale.”

Customer Service Representative: “That is a big price difference. Taking advantage of our Black Friday event is highly recommended to get the best deals. The current price is $3,400, plus tax. Would you like to proceed?”

Me: “I’m a bit at a loss for words. Does your computer show notes on who cancelled the order and what my previous call was regarding?”

Customer Service Representative: “I can see what mistake may have been made that led to the order being cancelled, yes.”

Me: “Great! So, as this wasn’t my fault, we can agree that I should be able to pay the price I ordered at originally, right?”

Customer Service Representative: *suddenly very irritated* “Ma’am, what is it that you want? What do I need to do to make you happy?”

Me: “…”

(It took several phone calls, but I eventually did get my order back at the correct price, with an additional $75 discount!)

This story is part of the Black Friday 2022 roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

25 Crazy Tales Of Black Friday Madness!

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