“It Gets Better” Requires Work

, , , , | Hopeless | August 9, 2018

I work in video game publishing as a producer. I’ve actually been in the industry for nearly a decade, but with this company for only a few years. My previous job was terrible. I worked for a guy who was awful to his employees and his customers — which meant they, in turn, were awful to us. I was working insane hours for no appreciation or recognition. He would regularly cut our pay because he “couldn’t afford us,” but then would take regular vacations to his luxury cabin in the mountains.

I stuck with it both out of a misguided sense of loyalty, and because at the end of the day I still loved the industry and wanted to be part of it, which is exactly the sort of cycle that enables awful working conditions like what I went through and worse. It didn’t help that so many people just tell you how lucky you are and how grateful you should be no matter what because they would kill to have your job, so you feel even worse about… feeling the way you do. I didn’t even notice how miserable and depressed I had been for years until I finally left and realized what an awful spiral I had been in. It was like I had existed for years in a sort of fog, and on the rare occasion I wasn’t working because I had time off, I was still unhappy because it was just looming over my whole life.

It was bad enough that I was actually scared to get back into the industry when my current company reached out about hiring me a few months later. I didn’t talk about my previous experiences. The first few months I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Whenever something went wrong, even something I wasn’t involved in, I would panic and become terrified, even though the owner was an amazingly chill, gracious, generous guy. My coworkers, who rapidly became actual friends, wondered why I was always so nervous or self-deprecating. One very bluntly asked me why I seemed to have no confidence, while praising my work. It was like being on another planet. Working with people who were themselves hard workers and good people, who valued my work and me, was literally a transformative but alien experience.

All of this came to a head when we attended a major industry conference and got invited to be guests of honor at an awards show. We weren’t up for any awards ourselves, but sitting there, surrounded by happy, excited people, listening to everyone talk about how much they loved their work just sort of overwhelmed me. I started to cry a bit because I finally realized after over a year that this was how it was supposed to be and that I was among friends.

I played off my tears as just being moved by the acceptance speech onstage at the time, but I do want everyone to know that you deserve to feel this way, too. You deserve to have work that is rewarding and that you enjoy, with people you like being around and who value you in turn.

I know I’m fortunate to do the work I do, and that a lot of people who will read this are working the jobs they have to in order to get by, and can’t do anything else right now for whatever reason. I guess I’m just sharing this to say that I hope one day you get to feel this way about your work, because you deserve to, no matter what that work may be. In the meantime, know that I’m sending good vibes to you no matter who or where you are, because I’ve been there, too.

I Feel Sorry For The Husky

, , , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I run a pet boarding business out of my home. I provide high-end care for dogs while their owners are out of town or at work. In this area, I am in high demand, often dealing with clients that are willing to throw down a lot of cash for their dogs. One morning I receive this booking request in my email:)

Client: “Hi. My dog is a purebred Siberian Husky. She is two months old. I do not want her around any other dogs, but I will not leave her alone while I am at work every day. I will need you to watch her starting tomorrow.”

(She lists off dates and times for thirty-six days she wants her dog to stay with me while she is at work.)

Me: “Hello! She’s a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I have other dogs booked with me every single day for the next month, so I would not be able to provide care for her without her coming into contact with other dogs, and I do not accept dogs that have not had their vaccinations. Her papers you sent me indicate that she has not yet had her vaccinations. If you need any assistance after she has received her shots, I would love to meet with you to discuss the details!”

Client: “She cannot be around other dogs. I am paying you $1,000 to make that happen.”

Me: “I do appreciate your interest in my services, but as I said, I have many other bookings, so providing solitary care for her would not be possible. I also would not be able to accept her until she has been vaccinated.”

Client: “I am not willing to pay you over $1,100.”

Me: “The issue isn’t with the money; the issue is that I have other bookings; so your dog would be around other dogs if she were to stay with me.”

Client: “Absolutely not. I am paying you $1,000 a month; she needs to be alone.”

Me: “Ma’am, every other owner that is currently booked with me has paid the same rates. I cannot cancel their bookings simply because you don’t want their dogs around yours and frankly, I cannot run a business by only watching one dog. And again, I would not even be able to consider care until you had her vaccinated.”

Client: “Then what am I even paying you for?”

(I explained my policies to her yet again and she stopped responding. I’m pretty relieved, honestly. Dealing with that attitude every day doesn’t sound worth the money.)

Maybe You Should Belt It Out Louder

, , , , , , | Working | August 8, 2018

(The immigration office requires visitors to undergo a security screening of all bags and miscellaneous items like phones, wallets, etc., similar to an airport screening procedure. I enter the building first; my husband comes in to join me after having found a place to park.)

Security Worker #1: “Put your bags, keys, phone, wallet, and belt in the tray.”

Husband: *places his bag, keys, phone, and wallet in the tray*

Security Worker #1: “Make sure your belt is in the tray.”

Husband: “I don’t have a belt.”

Security Worker #1: “You need to put it in the tray.”

Husband: “There’s no belt.”

Security Worker #1: “No belt?”

Husband: “No belt.”

Security Worker #1: *confused, looks again in tray* “The belt needs to go in the tray.”

Husband: *lifting his sweater and displaying the drawstring* “I have this. I don’t need a belt.”

Security Worker #1: *stares* “No belt?”

Husband: “No belt.”

Security Worker #1: “Okay, go through.”

Husband: *continues to the metal detector, manned by [Security Worker #2]*

Security Worker #2: *looks in tray* “Did you make sure to take your belt off?”

Husband: “I have no belt.”

Security Worker #2: *somewhat incredulously* “No belt?”

Husband: “No belt.”

Security Worker #2: *to [Security Worker #1]* “No belt?”

Security Worker #1: “No belt.”

(As it turns out, we need some extra documents to process our request, so we go home to retrieve said documents. Upon our return, I have my husband wait outside and opt to leave almost everything with him in order to simplify the screening process. I enter the building carrying only my phone, wallet, and the requested paperwork. I place these three items in the tray.)

Security Worker #3: “Your keys, too, ma’am.”

Me: “I don’t have keys.”

Security Worker #3: “Your keys.”

Me: *thinking maybe I somehow misheard* “Did you say my keys, or…?”

Security Worker #3: “Your keys. Like your car keys? They need to go in the tray.”

Me: “I’m not carrying any keys.”

Security Worker #3: “No keys?”

Me: “I didn’t bring any with me today. I have no keys on me.” *patting down empty pockets for emphasis*

(Pause.)

Security Worker #3: “No keys?”

Me: *sigh*

Shame You Can’t Prescribe Any Common Sense

, , , , , | Healthy | August 8, 2018

Doctor: “How did the new medications work for you?”

Patient: “I’m still waiting for them! The pharmacy still hasn’t called to let me know they are ready to pick up!”

Doctor: “Did the insurance deny the medications?”

Patient: “No, I didn’t hear any response from the insurance yet, either!”

Doctor: “Really? Which pharmacy did you take the prescription to? I can give them a call to check on this.”

Patient: “Oh, I never took it to the pharmacy. I still have the prescription here in my wallet!”

 

The Same Old Story

, , , , | Romantic | August 8, 2018

(My wife has just returned from a conference she went to alone. As I’m picking her up from the airport, she tells me of a male friend she made there, and I gently tease her about it. The next day she shows me pictures from the conference.)

Me: “That’s [Friend]? He’s hot! Are you sure you didn’t sleep with him?”

Wife: “He’s 35, and married, and as tall as I am.”

Me: “When you say he’s 35, what does that mean to you? Is he too old for you?”

Wife: “Yes… Oh, my God! Did I just say that?”

Me: “How old am I?”

(My 35th birthday was a couple of weeks ago.)

Page 3/11212345...Last
« Previous
Next »