(I am in line at a coffee shop. Behind me, there is a woman with a dog on a leash and behind her, there is a man using some type of walker. The man starts waving the walker at the dog, and the small dog backs away closer towards the woman.)

Man: “Look, your dog is afraid of it!” 

(He waves the walker at the dog a second time and again the dog backs up and hides behind the woman. The man laughs.)

Man: “Look, your dog is afraid of it!”

Woman: “Can you please stop doing that, then?”

Man: *explodes* “I am disabled! How dare you tell me what to do?”

(He goes into a screaming rant about all the medical issues he is experiencing.)

Woman: “I think you misunderstood; I just didn’t want you waving your walker at my dog.”

(Eventually, the man had to be escorted out by police because he was screaming at the top of his lungs about how the woman was discriminating against him and he hoped she ended up in a wheelchair one day.)

worked for Cable Company (midnight -7 am shifts) Mostly issues like outages or buying PPV movies/ remotes not working (This happened to be a billing call)

Me : Thank you for calling (Company) my name is (Name) how can i help you
Customer : Hi, can you help me with some billing questions ?
Me : Sure i’d be happy to help you, first i just need to verify some account questions to make sure you are authorized
(Customer verifies everything) and i have been reviewing his bill as he spoke, noticing a HUGE amount of Adult movies on his account for the last 5+ months (over 30 each month ranging from $6.95 to $49.95)

Customer : Can you explain these charges (he lists dates and it’s the adult movies)
Me : Those charges are (i list off the names and Ratings) adult movies all of which were ordered from the Remote, using your PIN set up at the time service was started
Customer : Are you sure? this seems like a lot (his current bill has 6) and i swear i have never ordered movies like this, im a grown man who works 2 jobs
Me : Are you aware that the last 5 months have had over 100 movies of this type ordered? i understand what your saying but for 5 months they have been ordered and payed for… is there anyone else in the home that might be placing these types of movies?
Customer : nope, no way it’s just me and my 17 year old son and his pregnant live in girlfriend, there is no way they would do this …… (Long pause…. screams son’s name) 2-3 mins of fighting and screaming ….. “i am so sorry about this i’ll be paying this off and he will get an ass whooping”

Hangs up

(This story takes place in 2008, right in the middle of the recession. I am luckier than most and am working retail to help put myself through grad school, rather than a lot of the under-employment situations going on at the time.)

Customer: *notices my class ring as I’m bagging her purchase* “Did you go to Notre Dame?”

Me: *proudly* “Yes, I graduated last year!”

Customer: *with a snobby smirk* “And you ended up working here?!”

Me: *hands her her bag* “I’m just working my way through grad school, ma’am. Not that I owe you an explanation. You’re really going to judge a recent grad for taking a retail job in the middle of a recession?”

(I got a talking-to for sassing a customer, but she deserved it!)

(I’m a food runner at a restaurant. Usually customers aren’t very rowdy but because of the location there are many customers who are “special” which lead to special requests.)
Coworker: “This guy had an allergy to pepper, can you make sure it doesn’t have any pepper?”
Me: “Sure.”
Two tables later
Me: “Hi, we have a steak and frites”
Customer: “IT CAN’T HAVE ANY PEPPER” angry and degrading.
Me: “Yes sir, I made sure of that.”
*sets the plates down, continues with everyone else’s plates*
Me: “Any fresh cracked pepper?”
Customer: “Oh yah, I love pepper.”
Me:* facepalms*

Customer: “I need to withdraw $3000 from my account. I am planning to do some shopping today.”

Me: “I can help you with that. All I need is a picture ID from you.”

Customer: “ID? I don’t have one. All I have is a library card.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. Because of the large dollar amount, there is no way for me to do the transaction without a valid picture ID.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You are an idiot. I told you I don’t have an ID. It’s my money and I want it now.”

Me: “I agree that it is your money, ma’am, but it’s my job to safeguard that money, so I have to complete the necessary steps to make sure I am giving the money to the right person.”

Customer: “My ID is with my boyfriend. I have a picture of it on my phone. See?”

(She shows me a picture ID on her phone.)

Me: “I am really sorry, ma’am. I cannot give you such a large dollar amount without the actual ID. I could give you a small dollar amount of maybe 100 to 200 with security questions. However, for anything larger, I need the actual ID.”

Customer: “What kind of bank are you? I mean, this is technology. I have a picture of my ID on my phone and it should work. Is your bank so technologically backward? Nowadays, a picture of anything works. You don’t need anything in a physical form. That’s what America is about. I guess you wouldn’t know as you are just an immigrant. But in America, our technology is superior and a picture of anything works. Understand? So stop being an idiot and give me my money NOW!”

(By now I am a little irritated.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. However, what I can do is give you a picture of your money and I am guessing that would work?”

Customer: *storms off*

(My manager was not extremely happy but had a good laugh.)