(I work at a grocery store and I finish checking out a customer)
Me: “Your total for tonight will be $63.08.”
Customer: “Okay, here’s $63. Let me get the 8 cents.”
(Customer searches through her wallet, moving dollar bills and searching for change.)
Customer: “I only have 3 cents.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I need the total amount.”
Customer: “It’s just 5 cents. can’t you cut me a break?”
Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not going to be fired over five cents.”
Customer: “Other casheirs have done it for me.”
(Starting to get frustrated, I offer to call my manager. She immediately pulls out a dollar bill and slams it on the counter.)
Me: “Okay, here’s your change. Thank you, have a great night.”
Customer: “I would have if I didn’t have all this change.”
Second Customer: “I’ll take it if you really don’t want it.”
(She quickly shoves the change into her purse and walks away, as if the man had insulted her.)
Second Customer: “Was that a no then?”
(Because we work with Americans, as well as many international clients, we get a lot of interesting people. The best way to get any information to prospective clients is through email. This is one exchange I had with a prospective client.)
Me: “All right. What I can do is send you all the information you are asking for through email, and CC an agent so that she may answer any questions you have.”
Client: “Okay.”
Me: “All right, what’s your name?”
(The client spells out his name slowly, using the “B as in ‘Boy’” thing.)
Me: *inwardly* “Thank goodness! I don’t think I would ever understand him.” *outwardly* “All right, and your email?”
(The client begins spelling out his email using same technique, then says:)
Client: “F as in ‘Edward,’ at [rest of email].”
Me: “Um… Okay, just to make sure I have this down correctly—”
(I begin spelling out the email and put extra emphasis on the F.)
Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Okay, I will get this information to you by the end of the day.”
Client: “Thank you!”
(It ended up being an E. I don’t blame him, though; an F is just an E without a bottom!)
(I work at an ice cream shop that has a special every 31st. This is a conversation I hear between my coworker and a customer.)
Customer: “Do you have [flavor with fudge in it]?”
Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, we do. Would you like a scoop?”
Customer: “Yes. In a cup.”
Coworker: *scoops ice cream and hands it over to customer* “Will that be all tonight, ma’am?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Coworker: “Your total will be [total]. Thank you! Have a great night!”
Customer: *walks back, angry now* “Hey! Does this have fudge in it?!”
Coworker: “Well, you asked for [flavor with fudge], correct?”
Customer: “Yes, but I didn’t know it had fudge in it! I demand a new scoop for free!”
Coworker: “I’m sorry but I can’t give you a new scoop. You have to pay for a new one since it’s so cheap today.”
Customer: *glares and points to the flavor she wants*
Coworker: *finishes transaction* “Have a good evening!”
(My elderly grandmother has just returned home from the DMV after passing her driving exam to renew her license, and is telling me about the experience.)
Grandma: “—and it was just so full, so many people!”
Me: “Well, it is the DMV.”
Grandma: “Yes, but there were just so many foreigners!”
Me: “I— What?”
(This caught me off guard because my grandmother immigrated here from Germany.)
Grandma: “I said, ‘There were so many foreigners.’”
Me: *now laughing* “Including you!”
Grandma: *clearly not expecting that response, but chuckling along as she realizes I’m right* “Well, I… You know what I mean!”
(I guess she’s lived here for so long that she forgets.)
(I work in a popular office supply store, which also has a copy center. It is not unheard of for a customer to pay for copies at regular checkout. This takes place right after open. The store has one very obvious door for enter and exit.)
Customer: “How do I get out?”
(I think she means, “check out,” since we are about five feet from the door.)
Me: “Do you need to be checked out?”
Customer: “No! I already paid. How do I leave?”
Me: *gesturing at door* “You can just walk out.”
(I told my manager; she didn’t believe me.)
