Just Slide Right Past Your Instructions

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2017

(I work at a pharmacy where patients are asked to give their signature for insurance purposes, indicating that they have picked up their prescriptions, before they make their payment. Here is the basic conversation, all day, every day, at the pick-up counter.)

Cashier: “Before you swipe your card, can you please press ‘next’ on the screen and sign that you are picking up your medications?”

Customer: “Okay!” *swipes card anyway, then presses ‘next’ and signs*

Cashier: *annoyed* “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: *angry* “I already slid my card!”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but as I was saying, you need to press ‘next’ and sign first, and then slide your card. If you slide before signing, the terminal will not read your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Well, I hope I don’t get charged twice!”

Cashier: *even more annoyed* “You won’t; trust me.”

(Customer slides card.)

Cashier: “Okay, now I need your signature for the purchase.”

Customer: “But I already signed!”

Cashier: *deep sigh*

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Unfiltered Story #95692

| Unfiltered | September 25, 2017

(I work for a Non Profit Medical Clinic. Because the County we operate in provides a pretty broad range of services, we have a lot of patients who labor under the belief that we are associated with the County. We are not and never have been. I overhear my colleague who is working the Front Desk engaging with a patient.)

Patient: So you’re part of the County, right?
Colleague: No, we are in no way associated with the County.
Patient: Oh, so you contract with them?
Colleague: No. We are not contracted by, subcontract with, or in any way work for or answer to the County.
Patient: So you’re subcontracted with the County.
Colleague: No, we are not. We are in no way, shape, or form any part of the County services.
Patient: *sounding confused* Oh.
*a moment later*
Patient: So can you send [paperwork] through this fax machine? *gestures at printer*
Colleague: That isn’t a fax machine.
Patient: Can you fax it from here?
Colleague: No, we do not have a fax machine here.
Patient: *confused* Oh.
*after the patient has been called in to see the provider*
Me: *to Colleague, teasing* So hey, [Name], aren’t we part of the county?
Colleague: *throws hands in the air* Apparently!
Me: Someone should tell [Boss]. He won’t have to worry about that [specific] grant anymore!

Unfiltered Story #94405

, , | Unfiltered | September 24, 2017

(I work in a casual quick-serve restaurant in an upper-middle class neighborhood. A customer orders a plain cheese quesadilla which I proceed to label with a “K” before handing off to the cashier.)

Customer: K for quesadilla? Haha, no wonder you work in fast food.

Me: Actually it’s “K” for kids’ meal because it’s cheaper since your quesadilla was plain. But next time I’ll be sure to write a “Q” on it so they’ll charge you $8 for 2 ounces of cheese and a tortilla.

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That’s Some Seriously Cute Ohana

, , , , | Related | September 22, 2017

(I work at popular “emo” store, but we also sell things relating to Harry Potter, anime, etc. One day, a mom walks in followed by the most adorable little girl I have ever seen. They look around awhile before finding something they like.)

Girl: “Look, Mommy! A Stitch onesie!”

Mom: *looking at me* “Can she try it on?”

Me: “Of course!”

(The little girl puts on the onesie and it basically maximizes her cuteness factor. You know that warm, fuzzy feeling of, “Holy f***; that’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” when you’re looking at, like, chinchillas? That is what I am getting from this.)

Mom: “You look so cute! How much?”

Girl: “Forty bucks.”

Mom: “Oh… that’s a little expensive.”

(I can’t take the cute. It’s too much.)

Me: “You know what? We have coupons for twenty percent off for extra-special customers. And that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Girl: “Yeah! Thank Miss Store Lady! You’re awesome!”

(She gave me a hug before taking the onesie off and running to the checkout with her mom. The little girl has come in since then, and is always just as adorable, but this was definitely the cutest.)

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Turned Into A Corny Story

, , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

I was listening to music while eating candy corn. It was a slow day, and my boss was incessantly interrupting me to talk about video games. Thinking his interruptions were about work, I kept having to take an ear-bud out and then put it back in.

Finally, after being interrupted too many times, I ended up putting a candy corn in my ear and trying to eat one of my headphone ear-buds.

I thought to myself, “Why does this candy corn taste like earwax and failure?”

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