As Long As The Coffee Survived

, , , , | Working | March 18, 2019

(A coworker and I are walking back from our break, and he’s carrying a tray of take-out coffee for everyone. He is carrying the tray with one hand, looking at his phone in the other as he walks.)

Me: “[Coworker], be careful.”

Coworker: “Huh?”

Me: “Watch out where you’re walking.”

Coworker: *clucks his tongue at me affectionately* “See, you’re like the big sister I never had, worrying over nothing.”

Me: “You have like five cups of hot coffee in one hand, and it’s all uneven here. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

(He scoffs at me so I let it drop. A few paces later, however, as he’s looking at his phone, he comes up on a ledge that has a central set of steps, misses the steps, and his foot comes down on open air. It’s only about a foot drop or so, but he pitches forward and his phone goes flying as he reflexively grabs for the coffee tray, jerking it up over his head like he’s offering it skyward — amazingly not spilling a drop — as he lands hard on both knees.)

Me: “Oh, my God! Are you okay?!”

Coworker: *gritting his teeth in pain* “Yes, thanks. And a preemptive thanks for not saying, ‘I told you so.’”

(At least he saved the coffee, and luckily, his phone was okay, too!)

The Amount Of Laziness Could Fill Up Pages

, , , , , , | Learning | March 18, 2019

I am a college professor and my university uses [Educational Software] to check for plagiarism. The program cannot read documents in .pages format — Mac’s word processor — which shouldn’t be a problem because my university offers Word free for students, but since Apple has all kinds of programs to get students their products cheap, most students have Macs. I warn the students in the syllabus, essay prompts, PowerPoints, and verbally in class to not submit essays with .pages because the plagiarism checker can’t read it, but there are always a few that slip through the cracks. When this happens, I give the students a 0 and ask them to resubmit, with no punishment; the 0 is to get the student’s attention since [Educational Software] has an app, and most students have it, so they get notified when a grade is updated.

This last semester, I had a lazy student who frequently came to class late or not at all, and who was missing several assignments. He turned in his first essay as a .pages document by mistake and I gave my typical response; I gave him a 0 and asked him to resubmit, no punishment. He took almost a month to resubmit, but since I had over 120 students that semester, and since I believe in mercy for students, I still didn’t punish him, even though it was well in my rights to do so.

Cue the end of the semester. I warned my students time and time again that I do not accept the final paper late because my school only gives us five days to turn final grades in, and I’m usually finished in three days or less so I can get to my break. Late work is simply not acceptable.

This same student turned his final paper in 20 minutes before it was due… and it was a .pages document. I followed protocol; I gave him a 0, notified him, and asked him to resubmit, which I technically shouldn’t have done because I said no late work. But, as I said, I believe in mercy.

Three days later, I had all the rest of the grades calculated and I still hadn’t heard from this student, nor had he re-submitted his essay. Since he didn’t have a great grade, anyway, I shrugged it off, thinking he just didn’t see it as worth his time. I submitted the class grades, awarding him a failing grade for the missing essay.

Two days later, he emailed me claiming he had only just now gotten my notifications and had re-submitted his paper… twenty minutes after my final grades were supposed to be due, and two days after I had already submitted them. He begged me to grade the essay.

I informed him that not only was his essay now five days late, but I had already turned in grades and I could not change his.

He fired back with, “But final grades weren’t due until today, right? You still have time.”

I still refused, reminding him, again, that grades were already turned in.

Two months into the next semester, he challenged his grade, demanding I grade his very late essay and give him a passing grade. I was seriously annoyed by this point because this meant I had to document everything that had happened and submit it for review, wasting valuable time.

To double-check his end of things and cover all my bases, I downloaded his original submission and used a converter to open the document in Word, to make sure the original submission matched his resubmission. Having a converter still does not make it okay to submit .pages documents — it still can’t be read by [Educational Software] — but at least I could have the document ready for review.

The .pages document, however, came back blank.

I tried two other converters. Still blank. I sent it to my brother-in-law who owns a Mac. Still blank. I tried downloading the .pages document from his first essay to test the converter and I didn’t have any problems converting it.

Then, I smiled gleefully and sent the information to my department chair, along with this note:

“Golly, Dr. [Department Chair], I was just checking to see if these essays matched, and for some reason, the first submission is coming up as a blank document. Can we have our IT guys look into it?”

Apparently, the student thought he could submit a blank essay to give himself extra time to submit the final essay because he thought I couldn’t open it. Needless to say, the student’s request for a grade change was denied and he’s now on academic probation for dishonesty.

Unfiltered Story #143699

, , | Unfiltered | March 17, 2019

I work as a “Maintenance Associate” for a large chain store. our city allowed them to start a store in a small, but feasible space with only 3 bathrooms in the building, two single use bathrooms in front, and a mens/womens restroom in the back. on occasions I am the only associate who is there to clean, and I am sometimes forced to clean the women’s restroom. Before cleaning the women’s restroom, for obvious reasons, I have to wait until all females leave. as I wait, an elderly lady came up with a bag of grapes, wanting to go in.

Lady: *Speaking in spanish, but makes it clear she wants to use the restroom*
Me: *Doesn’t understand, but deducts the obvious* I’m sorry miss, but I must clean the restroom, due to a mess.
Lady: oooohhh, okay.

Initially I thought she got the idea, and I turned around to see if anyone was coming out. as I did, I noticed something off on the corner of my eye, turned around, and saw her cleaning the grapes in the water fountain.

Me: *Upset, but trying my damnest to keep calm* M’am what are you doing!?
Lady: *Speaking in spanish, but gestures and makes clear she was trying to wash them*
Me: No! You can’t wash them in the fountain, you’re making a mess on the floor!

She realized there was a puddle on the ground, stopped, and then hurried off, as if I seemed to intend to take her grapes away for using the fountain to clean them as other customers laughed.

Unfiltered Story #143695

, , , | Unfiltered | March 16, 2019

Customer runs up to me, flustered and says,  “Do you know where the Brawny napkins are?”

I stop and think for a moment and say “I think they’re by the paper towels around the corner here, but you would be better served if you found an employee.”

She says “You *THINK* they’re by the paper towels?!” Then she grumbles and walks off in a huff.

Turns out they ARE by the paper towels lady. So there!

Drinking Since I Was Knee-High To A Grasshopper!

, , , , , | Working | March 15, 2019

(I am 22 years old. The legal age to drink alcohol in the US is 21 years old, and people are supposed to check IDs of those who look under 30. I am a customer that has walked up to the bar and taken a seat. I put my wallet down on the bar, but make no room to open it just yet.)

Me: “Hi. Can you make a grasshopper?”

Bartender: “What is that?”

(That’s not an unusual response as it’s not a common drink, and many bars here do not stock all the ingredients.)

Me: “It’s a mixture of crème de menthe, crème de cacao, and cream.”

Bartender: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t have the crème de menthe.”

(He hands me a bar menu with the specialties and points them out.)

Me: “I’ll take [vodka-based drink].”

Bartender: “Coming right up.”

(I never was asked for my ID, and I was only one year older than the legal limit. My wallet was faced down, and even then, I keep my ID inside of it, so it doesn’t appear when closed. The bartender was very nice, and I think he probably just forgot. Or maybe he assumed I was over 21 because I knew a drink he didn’t! As someone who works in a bar myself, I know the repercussions of serving under-aged minors for both the server and business. If you’re not 100% sure, always ID!)

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