Limping Away From Ignorance

, , , , , | | Working | June 13, 2019

(I have just started working at a store that sits right in the middle of the higher- and working-class population, so a mix of different people will come and shop. Within my first week, on a slow day, I’m chatting with two of my coworkers as a customer with a semi-noticeable limp enters through the elevators.)

Coworker #1: “Ugh, she’s back.”

Coworker #2: “Hey, [My Name], when she’s ready, can you check her out?”

Me: “Okay, why?”

Coworker #2: “Well, she has a bit of an attitude, and you’re new. Have to graduate somehow, right?”

Me: *rolls eyes* “Haha. But sure, all right.”

(Eventually, she comes up to my register. She smiles and acknowledges that I’m new, since she doesn’t recognize my face. She’s wearing a veteran cap, which I point out and ask about, as my cousin is a veteran, too. We end up chatting for a bit while I ring her out. She pays with an EBT card for her groceries and goes off on her way to the elevators once again. She was perfectly polite, and I am left confused over the warning I had received about her from my coworkers until they both approach me again.)

Coworker #1: “Wow. How did you do that?”

Me: “Do what?” *starting to think I was lucky for catching the customer while she was in a good mood*

Coworker #1: “Keep a straight face?”

Me: *more confused* “Over what?”

Coworker #1: “Come on, you know.”

(She then starts to imitate an exaggerated limp, mocking the customer. My second coworker laughs. I’m left speechless.)

Coworker #2: “I’m more surprised that you were able to keep it together when she flashed her EBT card. She always does it so casually, too! It’s so shameless.”

(By now, my confusion has manifested into anger.)

Me: “Why does it matter how she pays for her food?”

Coworker #2: “Well, I mean, it’s not just that. It’s just the shamelessness. I try to act casual, too, but then she always gets attitude and all mad about it. Like, dude, at least I’m trying!”

Coworker #1: “She always takes the elevator, too. Like, at least try to look active.”

(Now my anger is BOILING.)

Me: “Are you kidding me? She’s clearly a veteran!”

(Both give me a blank stare.)

Coworker #1: “So?”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, wasn’t that her choice, anyway?”

(I gave up and walked away at this point as I was literally shaking with rage. We never got along after that, but I got along with my other coworkers just fine — most of whom also had issues with how ignorant and conceited the other two usually acted — and I was always happy to see my regular who, by the way, never gave “attitude” towards anyone else BUT the two coworkers, solely because they gave it to her first. Eventually, one quit and the other was let go, the latter due to her behavior towards customers. None of us were shocked.)

Peeing On Any Kind Of Oreo Is Not Recommended

, , , , , , | | Friendly | June 12, 2019

As I’m getting my oil change for my car, I’m chatting with the lady at the front desk. I’ve been here lots of times and she loves to talk to cure the boredom of waiting.

She tells me she and her husband have a farm, as well. She raises mostly sheep but has a few Pygmy goats. The two in question are called Oreo and Cookie.

Apparently, a local male teen thought it would be funny to pee on Oreo. So, he sticks it through the fencing to pee on this goat. The goat, however, doesn’t take this well. Oreo turns and gives the offending thing a few nips.

Cue all Hell breaking loose! The boy is in obvious pain, and my front desk lady finds him and calls 911. After the boy is checked over and deemed fine but embarrassed, the paramedics warn that the boy’s family could sue. My front desk lady documents the event just in case. She is laughing, however, as this boy would have to go home and tell his parents how he was injured, that he was trespassing on private property in order to pee on a goat, and God knows what logic led to this moment of brilliance.

My front desk lady laughs saying he got what he deserved. She has never been sued to date and I got the feeling that this was an old story.

Unfiltered Story #154733

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 12, 2019

I’m volunteering at the pool (recording swim test scores, tidying up gear, fixing lane lines), and I happen to be wearing a red bathing suit. A mom waiting to pick up her kid starts talking to me:

Mom: Lifeguard red! Is it fun being a lifeguard here?

I try to explain to her that I am a volunteer and not a qualified lifeguard. She is having none of it. She continues to try to make conversation about my status as a lifeguard.

Me: I am just a volunteer! I’m not even legally an adult, so I can’t be a lifeguard.

Mom: …oh. Are you a junior lifeguard?

Me: NO! No. I’m not. I’m not really into that kind of thing. I’m just working at the pool for the morning.

Mom: Well, you should really sign up for Junior Lifeguards.

In A World… Where People Do Not Listen

, , , , , | | Working | June 11, 2019

(I work the front desk for a company that makes movie trailers. Sometimes clients will send gifts to my bosses and use mobile delivery services to do so. One day, a delivery boy from a delivery company comes by to drop off a gift.) 

Delivery Boy: “You guys work in entertainment, right? What exactly do you guys do?”

Me: “We make movie trailers.”

Delivery Boy: “What does [Gift Recipient] do?”

Me: “Um. He is a producer.”

Delivery Boy: “Oh, well, I’m an actor, so would it be all right if I leave my information for him?”

Me: “He produces movie trailers. He is not a movie producer.”

Delivery Boy: “I still like to leave my information for people, just in case.” *begins writing down his information*

Me: “But like I said, we make movie trailers; we don’t make movies. The studios send us the film and we cut it into a trailer. We are post-production.”

Delivery Boy: *continues to write down his “acting” information and then tries to flirt with me for five more minutes*

Unfiltered Story #154717

, , | | Unfiltered | June 11, 2019

(Note: My sister, who works at Disneyland, and I are looking at an online menu for the Cozy Cones Restaurant)
Sister: Ok, there is a macaroni and cheese cone, a pretzel cone, and a popcorn cone.
Me: Don’t you mean a pop-CONE?
Sister: That is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
We walk to the restaurant and as we are waiting for our food, I look around and see that the popcorn cone is in fact called popcone. I point it out to my sister and she just turns back to me.
Sister: I hate you…

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