S.H.I.E.L.D. Me From This Stupidity

, , , , , , | Right | February 24, 2012

(A customer walking out of the theater for “Captain America” with her two kids starts talking to me. She’s about 45 years old.)

Customer: “My goodness, the Nazis were awful people!”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “I’m just glad that terrible Red Skull got what was coming to him.”

Me: “Yeah, it was a pretty sweet ending.”

Customer: “It’s funny. I don’t remember learning about him or Captain America in the history books.”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Ha ha, yeah. Weird, right?”

Customer’s Son: *to me* “No, dude. She’s not kidding.”

Customer: “Kidding about what?”

(Embarrassed, her two kids try to walk briskly away from her.)

Customer: *chasing after her kids* “Whaaat?! What is it?!”

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Not The Brightest Spark In The Firework Display

, , | Right | March 27, 2011

Me: “[My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to come down and stay at your hotel. I want to stay when the Fourth of July fireworks go off. Do you know when that is?”

Me: “On the… Fourth of July?”

Customer: “But, that’s on a Tuesday. We want to come on the weekend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the Fourth of July fireworks show always goes off on the Fourth of July.”

Customer: *sternly* “Well, I guess you just lost business, didn’t you?!” *click*

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Humor Is Generational

, , , , , | San Jose, CA, USA | Right | July 21, 2010

(A customer of about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)

Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”

Me: “Over in the men’s department.”

Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”

Me: “In the men’s department as well.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks! I’m buying a Father’s Day present for my dad and grandfather!”

(I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I notice a few seconds later that he’s still there.)

Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”

Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

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The Last Scupper

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2010

(I notice a customer looking at the Passover cards, looking frustrated, so I go over to help her.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for Christian Passover cards.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry any Christian Passover cards. Were you maybe looking for the Easter cards?”

Customer: “No, I need Passover cards for a Christian.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but Passover is a Jewish holiday. We don’t carry Christian Passover cards because Christians don’t celebrate it.”

Customer: “Jesus did!”

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You Can Lead A Horse To Water…

, , , | | Right | November 29, 2007

(A young man from Fullerton, CA calls to get our address in Rancho Cordova, CA.)

Caller: “Rancho Cordova? What coast is that on?”

Me: “We are in California, just like you.”

Caller: “Oh… So, East?”

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