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Maybe It Was A Protein Shake?

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I work as a server at a diner. A family of five — four adults and one kid — comes in to have breakfast. I greet them as I would any other customer and get the drink order: one orange juice, two coffees, a tea, and a chocolate milk. I leave and then come back, but I realize I made a mistake: all of the drinks are in regular glasses and I don’t know which one is the kid’s drink. Before I can ask, the dad gets annoyed.

Customer: “Is that the kid’s size?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; I forgot to ask which drink you wanted in the kid’s cup.”

Customer: “Well, obviously, it’s the chocolate milk! What kind of man-child would drink chocolate milk?!”

I say nothing but step to the side to glance at the table right behind me. An elderly couple and their adult son, who is six feet tall and built like a truck with muscles the size of my head, are all staring at the fuss this guy is making. In front of each of them is a glass of chocolate milk. He notices them looking, they notice him looking, and they all look at me.

Me: “I’m not allowed to comment on that, sir. Would you like me to get this in a kid’s cup?”

Customer: *Quieter* “Yes, please.”

When The Prompt Isn’t

, , , , , , | Working | April 21, 2020

(I’m buying a gift card for a popular online retailer at a local grocery store along with some basic foodstuffs. The cashier does the brief “These cards are used for scams, etc.” explainer, and then this occurs when I try to pay.)

Cashier: “And how are you paying?”

Me: “Debit, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, go ahead, but you can’t tap your card, because of the gift card.”

Me: “Okay, fine.”

(I wait for the machine to prompt for my card.)

Cashier: “You can’t tap, because of the gift card. You have to insert your card.”

Me: “Yeah, I got it.”

(I continue to wait for the machine prompt.)

Cashier: “Sir, you can’t tap; you have to insert the card, because you’re—”

Me: *cracking* “Lady, do you see the name and logo on my coat? [Company] Payment Systems. The company who builds and programs the card readers here. I know the process; I’m waiting for you to finally push the option for debit so I can put my card in like the machine will prompt me to!”

(The cashier finally selected debit. I get that customers don’t always listen to directions, but don’t sit there doing nothing because you don’t think they heard or understood you.)

Just Reading This Is Tire-ing

, , , , , , | Right | March 11, 2020

One night while I’m towing, I get a call to go change a tire. When I pull up behind the vehicle, a woman comes out. I get my equipment ready and ask where her spare tire is located.

She gets a confused look on her face and tells me that she doesn’t have a spare tire, and she thought I’d bring one.

After explaining to her that tow truck drivers don’t carry spare tires for other vehicles, and as there is a tire shop not too far away and I can see it from where I am, I offer to tow her vehicle to the tire shop.

She refuses, telling me she’s got a spare tire at home. She’ll take a cab — about 60 km round trip — to go get it and bring it back. As it is a fair distance, I offer to tow her vehicle home for her, as that would save a lot of money. She refuses and calls a cab to go get her spare.

About an hour and a half later, I get a call for a flat. It turns out it’s the same woman, this time with a tire, but not a rim. I explain to her that I can’t install a tire on a rim as I don’t have the required equipment or training to do so.

Again, I offer to tow her vehicle to the tire shop, and this time, I tell her I’ll only charge her for the tire change — about $40 — instead of the tow, which would cost about $80 or so. Again, she refuses and I leave the scene. I don’t get another call from her.

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When They’re Spouting Spam

, , , , | Right | March 1, 2020

I come into the department to start my shift for the day when a customer comes up and starts talking to my manager about getting things printed.

“So, I have some files here on my phone that I want to get printed.”

“Unfortunately, we can’t print from your phone. You will need to bring the file in on a USB drive.”

“How about you give me your email and you can print them that way?”

“I’m sorry, but because of the privacy laws we’re not allowed to accept emails for printing.”

“Bulls***, I have already emailed several items for printing today.”

My manager, who has been in since opening, replies very politely:

“Well, if you already sent some items to our email, then why don’t you just use that email address again?”


“You just said that you already emailed stuff to us this morning, so why don’t you just send it to that email?”


He storms out. My manager turns to me.

“Do I have ‘Stupid’ written on my forehead again?”

A Flood Of Complaints

, , , , , | Right | January 30, 2020

(I work for a company that does the kitchen installs for a large chain big box store. My city is currently experiencing catastrophic flooding and is in a declared State of Emergency. It is first thing Friday morning, and I’ve been asked to contact our customers to cancel all appointments for the next few days. I leave a message for this particular customer and receive the following call back:)

Me: “Good morning, [Company Name], this is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I received a message about my install? Something about canceling?”

Me: “Yes, because of the state of emergency and the road closures, we are currently canceling all appointments. I will be contacting you on Monday to reschedule.”

Customer: “No, I cannot wait! I’ve waited too long for my kitchen already; you have to send someone!”

Me: “Ma’am, the installer scheduled for today has been evacuated from his home due to the flooding. He has to take care of his family now. Due to the road closures and current driving conditions, it is unsafe for any of my installers to be on the road, so all appointments are being cancelled.”

Customer: “Then I want my install Monday! This is terrible. You can’t keep me waiting!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of predicting whether or not the situation will improve over the weekend, and I can’t guarantee a Monday appointment. I will contact you Monday to reschedule.”

Customer: “Fine, then! I will be calling [Store] to complain! You’re terrible! I can’t wait another week for my install! I’m going to demand a discount for this!”

Me: “You do whatever you feel you have to, ma’am.”

Customer: *click*

(It’s worth noting that at the time this conversation took place, nearly every major roadway in my city had closures, our entire downtown core was flooded out, and about 100,000 people had been evacuated from their homes!)