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Smelling Them Like It Is

, , , , , , | Right | June 5, 2020

I’m a professional and qualified aromatherapist. I work in a local shop that specializes in selling all-natural bath and body products, as well as therapeutic quality essential oils. The customer — if you can call her that — enters the store.

Customer: “Yuck, it smells gross in here!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Customer: “Seriously, how can you work here?”

Me: “I personally enjoy the scent. I find natural fragrances tend to be much nicer than those of toxic synthetics.”

I can smell the cheap perfume she’s bathed in from across the store.

Customer: “Well, I don’t like it! It’s a terrible smell!”

Me: “No one is forcing you to stay here. You came in on your own accord, and you are more than welcome to turn around and leave.”

Customer: “I will! Tell the owner this is a horrible shop!”

Me: “Our clients say otherwise, but I’ll be sure to pass your comment along. And please be sure to take your disgusting attitude and terrible perfume with you when you leave. Have a wonderful day!”

The customer’s face was priceless.

Off The Leash And Out Of Line

, , , , , , , | Friendly | June 2, 2020

In the north-central part of Calgary, Alberta, there is a large park that is kept as close to natural prairie conditions as possible, the only upgrades being surfaced paths to limit where people can walk. A significant portion of it is designated as an off-leash area. Although we had no dogs at the time, we often walked there.

One day, we were on a path that intersected another path at right angles. On our left on the new trail, walking towards the intersection, were a woman and her dog. The animal was perhaps forty pounds, acting in a non-threatening manner and, of course, not on a lead. On the trail to our right, walking in the opposite direction, was a family of four — two boys, ages between six and ten, a small mom in her forties, and the tall, heavyset father.

When the two parties were perhaps fifteen meters apart, the dad yelled, “Put that dog on a leash!” There was no hint of a request in his voice.

The woman replied, “Sir, this is an off-lead area.”

The father responded, “My little guy is afraid of dogs. Leash him!”

I wanted to ask him why he took his kids there, but decided discretion was the better part of valor. The woman did leash the dog and another bully got rewarded.

Another Employee Who Should Sample The Goods More

, , , , , | Working | May 6, 2020

I know this store offers plain cold brew and vanilla bean cold brew, but the vanilla bean drink comes with milk. I love cold brew coffee and vanilla, but on this particular day, I don’t feel like drinking something milky.

Me: “Could I actually just get a regular black cold brew, but then add a shot of vanilla to it?”

Employee: “So, a vanilla cold brew?”

Me: “No, I want black cold brew, but I just want a shot of vanilla syrup added to it.”

Employee: “Oh, sure.”

I pay and a few minutes later a drink comes up for my name, but it is a light tan colour because it has milk in it.

Me: “Is this mine?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “But… I ordered a black cold brew with a shot of vanilla in it.”

Employee: “Yeah, that’s what that is.”

Me: “But it has milk in it.”

Employee: “Yeah, that’s the vanilla bean cold brew.”

Me: “No, I know, but I wanted a black cold brew.”

I just get a confused look from the employee.

Me: “Don’t you guys just have plain vanilla syrup you could add to drinks?”

Employee: “Oh, yeah, I guess I could remake it.”

I understand that these employees just get stuck on autopilot sometimes, but I had hoped asking with a longer description rather than “vanilla cold brew” would snap them out of it. I guess not!

One Wrong Click Leads To A Chain Reaction Of Support

, , , , | Working | April 30, 2020

Checking in twenty-four hours before my flight on the app on my phone, I accidentally clicked “YES” instead of “NO” when asked if I had dangerous goods. My sign-in was stopped immediately and I was left with no recourse but to cancel my check-in and lose my paid-for, pre-chosen seat. I’m laid back about most things, but there’s no way I can sit on a flight if I’m not by a window that’s opposite the sun. I feel really trapped if I can’t look out regularly.

I called the help line, figuring that this can’t possibly be a rare mistake, and got through to a customer service representative within minutes. I explained my error to her and she hummed, saying that she hadn’t heard of that before, but that she hadn’t heard of many issues as it was her first day.

Man, oh, man.

She started mumble-reading the FAQ, which I had done before calling — sans the mumbling, though — and then started trying all sorts of fixes that I was sure wouldn’t work. Finally, she put me on hold as she called her support and she was left on hold for over half an hour.

It was a 48-minute call — I checked the call counter— but I was calm and encouraging the whole time. I had made the mistake and I knew that freaking out would do nothing helpful. She apologized numerous times but I assured her I was in no rush. Everyone’s gotta learn sometimes and I’m the one who made the fat-fingered mistake. I don’t want to ever be one of those NAR people!

Oh, and randomly, she saw my destination and asked, during our scads of downtime, if that was home; it was Christmas time. As we talked, it came out that we grew up in areas kilometers apart from each other — her dad was great friends with my high school art teacher — but at different times. Currently, we are thousands of kilometres from there and each other.

Maybe It Was A Protein Shake?

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I work as a server at a diner. A family of five — four adults and one kid — comes in to have breakfast. I greet them as I would any other customer and get the drink order: one orange juice, two coffees, a tea, and a chocolate milk. I leave and then come back, but I realize I made a mistake: all of the drinks are in regular glasses and I don’t know which one is the kid’s drink. Before I can ask, the dad gets annoyed.

Customer: “Is that the kid’s size?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; I forgot to ask which drink you wanted in the kid’s cup.”

Customer: “Well, obviously, it’s the chocolate milk! What kind of man-child would drink chocolate milk?!”

I say nothing but step to the side to glance at the table right behind me. An elderly couple and their adult son, who is six feet tall and built like a truck with muscles the size of my head, are all staring at the fuss this guy is making. In front of each of them is a glass of chocolate milk. He notices them looking, they notice him looking, and they all look at me.

Me: “I’m not allowed to comment on that, sir. Would you like me to get this in a kid’s cup?”

Customer: *Quieter* “Yes, please.”