We’ll Have A Toast Upon Your Departure

, , , , , | Right | November 11, 2019

(I work at a diner. During the Saturday lunch rush, a customer in her 60s is wheeled in with her friend, though by her behaviour she acts more like a six-year-old. Right off the bat, I know she’s going to be trouble when I try to introduce myself and she just cuts me off by demanding coffee. The real trouble starts after I bring her meal. The second she sees her toast, she flips. She throws a tantrum about it being too toasted, so I assure her I’ll bring it back to the kitchen. Then, she throws a tantrum about it being too light, so I take it back again. Then, she complains about her meal getting cold because of all this, how this is the worst meal of her entire life, and how she’s never coming back here ever again. By the time she pays, I’m so sick of this woman, but I still try to be friendly.)

Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “I will.” *shoots me a smug look like she’s going to one-up me* “Once I’m out of here!”

Me: *with my best customer service smile on my face* “Me, too, ma’am. Me, too!”

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Now We Want Grilled Cheese Hash Browns

, , , , , | Right | October 20, 2019

(I am working as a server at an all-day grill.)

Customer: “Excuse me? What’s a grilled cheese sandwich?”

Me: *trying to remain in server mode* “It’s a sandwich… with cheese… which is grilled.” *unable to keep up the server routine* “Seriously, dude. It’s the most descriptive name a food has ever been given.”

(I later bring out the food.)

Customer: “Are these hashbrowns?”

Me: “Yes…?”

Customer: “They look like potatoes!”

Me: “Um… Sometimes things look like what they’re made out of?”

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Slender Man Is Missing His Graduation Shirt  

, , , , , | Working | October 7, 2019

(I’m shopping for a dress shirt for graduation. We buy a shirt, but when we open up the package at home, we find out that the sleeves are ridiculously long on me, so we go to return it. We are greeted by the same employee who helped us in purchasing it.)

Employee #1: “Is something wrong?”

Mom: “It doesn’t fit.”

Employee #1: *perplexed look* “What do you mean?”

Mom: “The sleeves are way too long.”

(The employee measures the length of my arms, which are the same as what the package says.)

Employee #1: “It should be right. Why don’t you try it on?”

(I put the shirt on, and the sleeves are way too long.)

Employee #1: *really confused* “Oh, no, that’s definitely not right.”

(He takes the shirt to another employee and measure the sleeves on it, which are a good six inches longer than labelled, and they take the shirt to the back.)

Employee #1: “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Employee #2: “Me, neither!”

Employee #1: “Hey, [Employee #3]! Check out the shirt [Employee #2] has! It’s a 39-inch arm length! It was labelled as 33 inches.”

Employee #3: “Really?!”

Employee #1: “Yeah! I didn’t even know we carried those.”

Employee #3: “We don’t!”

(The staff’s interest and confusion with this shirt were quite entertaining!)

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A Rapid Mouth On Rapid Transit

, , , , , | Right | September 28, 2019

(My husband and I are on the bus today, heading home from the nearby train station. I have a mobility issue and use a cane, so we sit in the two front handicapped seats. Our driver is clearly training, so there is a supervisor with her. As we approach a stop, we see another bus pulled off to the side, with three police cars and the passengers standing at the side of the road. Our bus stops, the supervisor gets off, and passengers pile on. It’s a small bus, so it fills right up. No big deal. The supervisor is talking to the police officers and the driver is waiting for him. Then, from behind me I hear a woman.)

Passenger: “Let’s gooooo! Why aren’t we mooooving?!”

Driver: *very nicely* “We have to wait for the other staff member to get back on. He’s just talking to the police.”

(My husband and I start chatting with the driver. I tell her the route is normally “very tame” and this stuff never happens. This is her first time driving this route. Less than one minute later, the same woman starts again:)

Passenger: “It’s taken an hour to come from [Street]! I have an appointment! YOU JUST CAN’T TRUST TRANSIT!” 

(We’re actually ON the Avenue she’s talking about, so I don’t entirely understand what she’s saying, but I say nothing. I’m already peeved, thinking I’m going to have to listen to this entitled woman for however long we sit here, but I say nothing. Sixty seconds later she starts again:)

Passenger:Why can’t we leave him here with the cops and go! I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT!”

(And this is when I get… testy.)

Me: “We can’t go because we’re waiting for the supervisor to get back on the bus! That’s why we can’t leave!”

Passenger: “Well, there’s no need to be snippy about it! I have to—”

Me: “We’re all in the same position as you so there’s no point in complaining about something that’s completely beyond your control.”

(The mouthy woman shuts up and we sit in silence. Less than one minute later, the supervisor comes back on the bus. It turns out that another passenger on the stopped bus punched a woman sitting in the front — handicapped — seat and the supervisor was a witness and had to talk to the officers. The offending passenger was arrested. There are sounds of surprise from the people on the bus as the supervisor explains.)

Passenger: “Well, I didn’t know!” 

Me: “You were on that bus! Maybe if you’d shut your mouth you’d know.” 

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Unfiltered Story #160108

, , , | Unfiltered | August 14, 2019

(I am working the customer service desk at a grocery store that sells public transit passes and booklets of 10 transit tickets. A middle-aged lady approaches the desk).
Customer: *points to an old transit ticket in her wallet) 5.
Me: *thinking she means she wants 5 individual tickets* Unfortunately, we only sell them in booklets of 10.
Customer: 5.
Me: Um they only come in packs of 10 *holds out my elastic band of the packs of tickets*
Customer: *grabs all the tickets out of my hand and counts out 5 packs of tickets without saying anything*
Me: Okay…That will be *price*.
Customer: *pays silently with cash*
Me: Alright here’s your receipt! Have a nice day!
Customer: *doesn’t move and silently stares at me*
(I spent about 5 minutes explaining the price of the tickets and how they come while a line forms behind her before finally…)
Me: Oh did I forget to give you your change.
Customer: *finally speaking* Yes.
Me: *groans inwardly* Ok there is your change! Have a good day!
(She stayed there again for nearly 10 minutes staring at her receipt and slowly putting her 50 bus tickets away while other customers had to awkwardly scoot around her.)