Pre-Order Disorder

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2018

(It is just after the release of an AAA title. Any customers wishing to reserve a copy usually put down a five dollar deposit and need to have their receipt in order to pick it up on release day.)

Customer: *walks in arrogantly* “I want to pick up a copy of [Title].”

Me: “We would be glad to sell you a copy; however, all of the ones we currently have are for pre-orders only. I’m afraid we have none left for walk-ins.”

(The customer starts arguing, and our pre-order customers are starting to file in behind him. He remains oblivious.)

Customer: “Do you mean to tell me that all copies of that game are reserved? That’s ridiculous! I want you to sell me a copy of [Title] now, or I’ll call your head office.”

Me: *sly wink to the line up* “Sir, if you would like to purchase a copy, then you’ll have to convince one of the 20 or so people behind you to give up one of theirs.”

(The customer turns around and finds himself staring down an angry mob.)

Customer: *pregnant pause* “I’ll, uh… I’ll go and see if [Department Store] has some.”

(I spent the day bro-fisting the line. It was awesome.)

Regularly Demanding

, , , , | Right | August 25, 2017

I work at a small independent coffee shop as a barista. We have a number of regular customers whom I recognize. One night, I get a phone call saying there’s been a flood at the shop and when I go to check the damage, I realize we won’t be able to open in the morning, it’s so bad. I put up several signs on the windows, and one huge one on the doors that says “We are CLOSED today due to flood damage. Will be re-opening soon. Thanks for your patience.”

In the morning, I’m there with a few coworkers, salvaging what we can and cleaning what we can, when we hear loud banging noises at the front door. We ignore it and keep working, but it happens two or three more times, to the point of irritation. I finally go to the door and open it up to find one of our most regular customers standing there. I ask her why she’s there and she says “well, for my morning coffee, of course” as she’s trying to move past me into the building. I keep her from entering and tell her that as per the signs, we are closed.

Without even blinking an eye, she looks straight at me and says, “well, maybe for strangers, but not for your regular customers!”

I made her a coffee.

Should Have Come Up With A Less Special Name

, , , , , | Related | August 23, 2017

When I was six, my family went on vacation to Mexico. While there, my dad purchased a rather large, fancy bottle of rum. My parents decided that, as I didn’t know what alcohol was at that point, they would tell me it was “Special Syrup.”

The morning after we returned I got up really early, as I was super excited for something I had been for half the trip. When my mom woke up, I ran up to her, with the excitement in my eyes, and said, “Mommy, I want pancakes for breakfast, with the SPECIAL syrup!”

My mom realized her mistake when she had to tell a sobbing me that I wasn’t allowed to have the special syrup.

Terminate This Purchase

, , , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | December 23, 2013

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

(I realize the customer is buying three things. A pack of water pistols, lighter fluid, and matches.)

Me: “Um… This is an interesting purchase.”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s a wasp infestation in my garage. Figured this is easier than an exterminator.”

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