When They’re Spouting Spam

, , , , | Right | March 1, 2020

I come into the department to start my shift for the day when a customer comes up and starts talking to my manager about getting things printed.

“So, I have some files here on my phone that I want to get printed.”

“Unfortunately, we can’t print from your phone. You will need to bring the file in on a USB drive.”

“How about you give me your email and you can print them that way?”

“I’m sorry, but because of the privacy laws we’re not allowed to accept emails for printing.”

“Bulls***, I have already emailed several items for printing today.”

My manager, who has been in since opening, replies very politely:

“Well, if you already sent some items to our email, then why don’t you just use that email address again?”


“You just said that you already emailed stuff to us this morning, so why don’t you just send it to that email?”


He storms out. My manager turns to me.

“Do I have ‘Stupid’ written on my forehead again?”

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A Flood Of Complaints

, , , , , | Right | January 30, 2020

(I work for a company that does the kitchen installs for a large chain big box store. My city is currently experiencing catastrophic flooding and is in a declared State of Emergency. It is first thing Friday morning, and I’ve been asked to contact our customers to cancel all appointments for the next few days. I leave a message for this particular customer and receive the following call back:)

Me: “Good morning, [Company Name], this is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I received a message about my install? Something about canceling?”

Me: “Yes, because of the state of emergency and the road closures, we are currently canceling all appointments. I will be contacting you on Monday to reschedule.”

Customer: “No, I cannot wait! I’ve waited too long for my kitchen already; you have to send someone!”

Me: “Ma’am, the installer scheduled for today has been evacuated from his home due to the flooding. He has to take care of his family now. Due to the road closures and current driving conditions, it is unsafe for any of my installers to be on the road, so all appointments are being cancelled.”

Customer: “Then I want my install Monday! This is terrible. You can’t keep me waiting!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of predicting whether or not the situation will improve over the weekend, and I can’t guarantee a Monday appointment. I will contact you Monday to reschedule.”

Customer: “Fine, then! I will be calling [Store] to complain! You’re terrible! I can’t wait another week for my install! I’m going to demand a discount for this!”

Me: “You do whatever you feel you have to, ma’am.”

Customer: *click*

(It’s worth noting that at the time this conversation took place, nearly every major roadway in my city had closures, our entire downtown core was flooded out, and about 100,000 people had been evacuated from their homes!)

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The Luck And Time Of The Irish

, , , , | Right | December 27, 2019

(I work in a popular watch and handbag store. We are just cleaning up the store, with five minutes left until close, when a middle-aged man saunters in.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing this evening?”

Customer: “Not bad, not bad at all!”

(He walks over to the watch case.)

Customer: “So. I’m going to need some help finding a watch.”

Me: “Oh, okay, what type of watch were you looking for? Metal, leather, silicone…?”

Customer: “One that makes me look like an Irish Gangster!”

(I am totally thrown for a moment, and my coworkers all pause. I then carry on as best as I can, considering he then decides to break into Irish trivia, and then an Irish accent. He finally buys a watch, and then leaves.)

Manager: “Did he say he wanted a watch like an Irish Gangster?”

Me: “This has been a weird day.”

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Unfiltered Story #178414

, , , | Unfiltered | November 30, 2019

(I am working the returns till, an old man comes to do a return. He passes me the item and his receipt. It is the only item on the receipt and it was for 32$)

Me: Okay sir we will be refunding 32$ onto your mastercard today!
Him: but I paid 45$ for it.
(I double check)
Me: You purchased this item for 32$. (pointing it out on the receipt)
Him: But this item costs 45$.
Me: Yes normally it does cost 45$ but you purchased it while it was on sale and only paid 32$ for it, so we will refund you 32$.
Him: I paid 45$
Me: No sir you did not.
(He continues to argue with me)
Me: Let me go get my manager, he is right over there.
(He is suddenly all smiles.)
Him: Oh no it’s fine, just refund me 32$!

(I almost screamed)

On The Grammar Offensive  

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2019

(I work in an outdoor clothing retail store that uses a hand-written chalkboard for our sidewalk sign. The sale has just changed this morning and, being in a rush to also change all the interior signs, and all the regular opening duties, I don’t go back to spell-check my sign. I normally have decent spelling so I’m not too worried about it. It gets busy right away and I am already trying to help five to six people when this older lady comes in — probably in her 70s — and just kind of stands near me while I am talking to another customer. I make eye contact and smile to acknowledge her and finish up with the customer I am helping.)

Me: “Do you need a hand with anything or have any questions?”

Older Lady: “Did you know your sign is spelled wrong?”

Me: *pauses* “Oh?”

Older Lady: “Yes, your sign is spelled wrong! The word ‘reduced’ is spelt with a C, not an S!”

Me: *already slightly annoyed because she is wasting my time when I have other customers who actually need my help* “Sorry about that. I will take a look and fix it when I have a moment.”

Older Lady: “You’d better fix it! It’s offensive to those of us who can actually spell!”

Me: *internally rolling my eyes* “Yes, I will fix it. Have a good day!”

(I turned away to help another customer before she could say anything else. She stomped out of the store probably thinking she had done her “good deed” for the day by saving us all from poor spelling. All I could think about while she was being so offended by our sign was how little she must know of what is going on in the world if an incorrectly spelled word is what she finds offensive. And next time? All it would take is a polite “Excuse me? Do you know your sign has a spelling error? Just letting you know,” versus practically throwing a tantrum in my store.)

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