It’s Either Too Early Or Too Latte

, , , | Right | March 12, 2018

(I’m working a weekend shift at the hospital. It’s early and I need a coffee, but I’m pregnant so I opt for decaf.)

Me: “Can I have a small decaf?”

Barista: “Cappuccino? Latte?”

Me: “Latte.”

(Pause.)

Me: “Wait! No! Flat white! Flat white, sorry. Flat white. Sorry.”

Barista: “Are you sure you want decaf?”

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Job Hunters Know Good And Bad Prey

, , , , | Working | February 1, 2018

(I’m living at home for a summer before I head to university, in need of summer employment. I apply for a job in a kitchen and manage to score an interview. Over the phone, they tell me they are impressed with my qualifications and are looking to fill the position straight away. The job is for a pretty basic canteen inside an office building. The manager who shows me around seems friendly enough but has a big air of self-importance to her. At the end of the interview, comprised mainly of her talking with few questions, the manager turns to me with a serious look.)

Manager: “Now, I have a big question to ask you.”

Me: “Okay.”

Manager: “Would you be willing to wait one month for us to make a decision?”

Me: “Err… I’m sorry. Over the phone you said you wanted this position filled immediately.”

Manager: “Well, this is a very important decision for our company; we need to make sure we have the right person for the job!”

(I hold back my laughter; this is a very small and not particularly impressive canteen. It’s hardly rocket science.)

Me: “Then, why say you were looking to fill it right away?”

(The manager then puts on what is clearly her most dashing smile.)

Manager: “So, are you prepared to wait? I think you have a lot to offer us, and I think you have the right attitude for this job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. I need a job to start saving for university, and I really cannot wait around for you guys to maybe hire me. During this time, I will be looking for work and if anything comes up then I’m going to take it. Sorry, but I need to get working.”

(Almost instantly her demeanour changes and she becomes icy and unfriendly.)

Manager: *abruptly* “Well, then, thanks for coming in. You know the way out, right?”

(Quickly she turned on her heel and walked away. Luckily I got a job a week or so later and promptly forgot all about them. Finally, TWO MONTHS LATER, I got a voicemail on my parents’ home number stating I hadn’t got the job due to my “lack of qualifications.” That made me giggle because I’m qualified to work in hospitality and this was the complete reverse of what they told me. It made me wonder how organised they actually were and who was desperate enough to wait around for them?)

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Not A Very A-Peeling Attitude

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 31, 2018

(My group of college friends has one fellow who is from a wealthy family in Panama. One day in the cafeteria he gets an orange with his lunch. When it comes time to eat it, he can’t figure out how to get it open. Baffled, we ask:)

Me: “Have you ever peeled one before?”

Friend: “No! That’s women’s work!”

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Pop Goes Their Job Prospects

, , , | Working | January 15, 2018

(I work in a school canteen. We have a new starter with us today. I induct them and set them to work. After a few minutes I hear the tell tail signs of chewing with your mouth open. I turn around and see him chewing gum.)

Me: “[New Starter], you aren’t allowed to chew gum on the job. As I said, not ten minutes ago, it’s unhygienic.”

New Starter: *stroppy* “Well, sorry!”

(I assume that’s the end of it and head out to the front to prepare the tables. I see our manager, who is rather stern and strict at the best of times, head into the kitchen. One of the shutters goes up almost immediately and she yells for me. I walk over.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Manager: *near shouting and turning red* “Is it true you told [New Starter] that he could chew gum?”

Me: “I most certainly did not! I told him specifically not to.”

(He shakes his head and the manager scrunches her eyes at the both of us. She’s about to speak when [Coworker] behind us speaks up.)

Coworker: “She’s right. I was there when she told him during his induction, and again when she caught him chewing.”

(We all looked at the new starter while he was in the process of blowing the largest bubble I had ever seen. It popped, and I could see bits of gum and saliva fly all over the counter. Our manager even wiped some of it from her lip. Not a good way to start your first day.)

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Keeping All Those Plates Spinning

, , , , | Learning | December 24, 2017

At my school, the food tends to not be very good, and the company in charge of dining services does not treat their employees very well. However, the employees working in dining services here work extremely hard to do what they can with the food provided and turn it into something better, and are some of the nicest people you could meet.

We had a big snowstorm, during which the school closed all dining facilities except the dining hall. The school has some rooms in one of the residence halls for food workers to stay during situations like these. Of course, the workers were going all day, working extremely hard with what they had.

The next day when I went in, I gave my student ID to the person manning the register to pay for my meal as per usual, and he held it for a second, staring off into space, before he said, “I’m trying to smile, but it’s not coming”. I laughed and said that it was all right, they all had a long day the day before. I also added my thanks to them for working so hard, and that I was sure other students felt the same way, even if they didn’t show it. He just shrugged his shoulders and told me that the students had to eat.

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