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It’s Payback Time

, | Bangalore, India | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am working part-time as a cashier in a cafeteria in a large college campus where I am a student. A young man accompanied by a girl approaches my counter. The man starts to order.)

Customer: “Listen, I will pay you later. You can trust me.”

Me: “Sorry, I need payment first before we can serve you the items you ordered.”

Customer: “You can trust me. Everyone on this campus knows me.”

Me: “I still need payment first as I have never met you before and don’t know you. My till cannot come up short. So if I let you have these items without you paying for it then I will have to pay for it out of my pocket. Since you are well known on campus as you said, perhaps you can find someone here in the cafeteria who will let you borrow some money.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You can easily find me in the campus. I will be either in my room in the [Dorm] which is very close by, or in the [Department]. You can ask anyone in the campus.”

Me: “Sorry, but you seem to be suggesting that I just give you the items you ordered now and then I run about the campus to collect payment from you later in your dorm or your department. Obviously I cannot do that. As your dorm is close by, can’t you just get some money from your room?”

(The customer just glared at me for a few seconds, let loose a string of expletives, and stormed out with the girl following behind. If he was trying to impress the girl about how important he was, he went about doing that in a very stupid way. He cannot expect a random person to pay for his date!)

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Don’t Count Your Chickens

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(Every summer, a group of young Italian students come over to study English, and they eat dinner everyday at our canteen.)

Girl: “Pasta.”

Me: “Which one? I have chicken and plain pasta?”

Girl: “This.” *points at the chicken pasta* “No chicken.”

Me: “You can have the plain pasta, then?” *points at the plain pasta*

Girl: “No, this. No chicken.”

(Guess who had to pick all the little pieces of chicken out from the chicken pasta?)

I Spat On Your Spatula

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a student employee working at the cafeteria of my community college that I attend. I am at our fusion station serving various forms of pasta. I keep a fairly clean operation and periodically change my cooking implements as well as clean my station. After dealing with one picky customer, I run through my cleaning routine save for one skillet and spatula I have only just begun using for the previous customer. A female student walks up to the station shortly after I finish cleaning the counters.)

Me: “Hi there, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “Good. What is this?”

(This alone amused me as it was obvious what I was serving but multiple others asked me this already today so I dismissed it.)

Me: “It is a pasta bar today. Would you like some?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(She proceeds to tell me her selections but suddenly stops short when I go to use the aforementioned tools.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Would you please use a different pan? I don’t want you to make my food in an infected pan.”

(This annoys me slightly but not enough for her to see. I get a new skillet out and move her meal into it and grab the spatula.)

Customer: “Uh, I’m sorry but could you please use another spatula. I don’t want that one used in my food.”

(By this time the lunch rush has begun and other customers have started to line up behind her. I run to the back to get a new spatula, come back, and set it on the counter so I can light the burner.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, is this what you want?

Customer: “Yes, that’ll be great…”

Me: “Is there still a problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “You know what I think I’m going to pass.”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “You can’t put a clean spatula on the counter; it’ll get germs all over it. You need to have napkins or plates stacked together to put it on so it doesn’t get infected. I’m sorry but I can’t… have a nice day.”

(The customer speeds off without another word. I’m standing there with her food half made when another female student, who had witnessed most of this, approaches me laughing.)

Me: “Okay, can someone tell me what just happened?”

Customer #2: “It’s okay; don’t get frazzled. I know that girl. Sorry about that.”

Me: “Not a problem. What can I do for you today?”

Customer #2: “You know what? I’ll just have what she was going to have.”

A History Of Petty Crime

| Montreal, QC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal & Illegal, History

(I am working at the register at the time. Our clients often come after they have visited the Museum’s permanent exposition, taking a bite to eat.)

Me: “Hello, sir! Did you enjoy your visit of the exposition?”

Customer: “Incredible! This is my first time here and I just can’t believe how magnificent those antique items are!”

Me: “Yes, I have gone back to the rooms many times myself. They truly are worth seeing.”

Customer: “I really liked the [Important Historical Figure] room. My ancestors served under him, you know?”

Me: “Glad you liked the visit, sir! Your lunch will come at [price].”

Customer: “Sure, give me a minute…”

(After he pays, as he puts money back into his wallet, I notice a familiar object from his belongings.)

Me: “Sir… is this [personal object from Important Historical Figure]?”

Customer: “Oh, yes! I wanted to show it to my mother! Her legs tire so much she had to stay here.”

Me: “You’re aware that’s completely illegal and may get you arrested? You need to go give it back right now.”

Customer: “Don’t worry. It’s part of my heritage! I’ll give it back after dinner!”

(I pressed the emergency button and watched him argue that it was ‘’No big deal’ and his ‘heritage’ with about five security guards. It took the cops to convince him.)

There’s A Twist At The End

, | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

(I serve ice cream on a buffet line in the college’s cafeteria. There’s vanilla, chocolate, and twist on the soft serve machine.)

Student: “Can I have some soft serve vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we ran out.”

Student: “Oh. Then can I have the twist?”

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