Working With The Yes-Men

| Stockholm, Sweden | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working at a popular café and serving customers as usual when an older man walks in.)

Customer: “I would like a sandwich, please.”

Me: “Of course, sir. What kind of bread would you like?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What kind of bread would you like, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(At this point I assume he is an alcoholic so I just take a chance on which bread he wanted.)

Me: “Okay, what would you like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What would you like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “White bread.”

(This goes on until I can finally understand what he wants.)

Me: “Goodbye, sir. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “No.”

Splitting Hairs Over The Price

| New Zealand | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(A customer at my cafe comes up to the counter, scone in hand, looking angry.)

Customer: “There is a hair in my scone. I want a refund.”

Me: “I’m so sorry for that. Let me sort that out for you.”

(I return a minute later, apologizing again and giving her a refund. As she walks off several staff members look at the hair, which is sitting in the jam she spread herself, not baked in, and could only have come from her head.)

Coworker: “She was complaining about the price earlier when ordering.”

(As it turned out, she had complained but bought the scone anyway, had her fill, then placed her own hair in the jam before asking for her refund.)

Should Have Given Them Decaf

| ON, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’m in line at a coffee shop before work when I overhear the following conversation between the cashier and the exhausted looking customer in front of me.)

Cashier: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Coffee”

Cashier: “Any particular one?”

Customer: “Coffee”

Cashier: “Okay, what size would you like?”

Customer: “Coffee”

Cashier: “All righty, then, one extra large mocha supreme with a shot of espresso coming up.”

Customer: *while handing her $10* “Thank you.”

(The cashier got the coffee and the man took it and his change with one more mumbled “coffee” and left.)

Me: “That was weird.”

Cashier: “No kidding”

Me: “That’s the most expensive drink on the menu isn’t it?”

Cashier: “Yep.”