Cold Chance Of A Warm Reset

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Technology

(Over the university holidays I am an intern at a major bank. At home I work as a support tech for one of the country’s largest department stores. I am also a customer at this cafe.)

Customer #1: “This stupid thing! You should really know how to get this working! It’s ridiculous! You are so rude!”

(I have been coming here since the day I arrived and know the cashier quite well, who I have never heard say a bad word.)

Cashier: “We have tried what we could. If you could just be patient we’ll finish your transaction.”

Customer: *grumbles*

Me: “I’ll just have a latte, thanks!”

Cashier: “Sure thing. Will you be paying with card?”

Me: “Yes! Let’s hope it goes through!”

(There is a communications error on the pin-pad.)

Cashier: “Ah, the paypass has been having issues all day. I’ll just get you to use this pin-pad. This thing is so unreliable; no matter what we try it just never seems to continue working.”

Me: “Ah, I see you’re using [Brand] pin-pads. I could fix that for you right now, if you like?”

Customer #1: “Fat chance. It’s s***!”

Cashier: “Are you sure? We have been having issues all day. I don’t know if you could fix this. I have tried everything.”

Me: “I’m actually on the [Department Store’s] IT account, and can fix this one for you. Have you tried this?”

(I perform the basic troubleshooting, a warm reset, while my payment is being processed on the other pin-pad.)

Cashier: “What did you do to it? It doesn’t look right!”

Me: “All right, I’ll just get you to log on to the pin-pad from your register. You’ll be all good to go again.”

Cashier: “I’m not sure. You just made the screen look all funny… That doesn’t fix it!”

(The cashier logs in to the pin-pad, goes to process next customer.)

Cashier: “Oh! It’s working. How did you know that?”

Me: “Like I said, I work on the IT account for [Department Store]. It would be pretty shocking of me NOT to know!”

(I then proceed to flash Customer #1 with a quick smirk, who then grabs his coffee, scowls, and marches off.)

Me: “If only we could perform a warm reset on HIM!”

Use Your Inside Voice Invoice

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a cafe and store that serves a large corporate staff which works in the building, and only them. I am in the back office working on orders and balancing accounts when I overhear an exchange between a member of my staff and a customer escalating.)

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, all told that will be $11.30.”

Customer: “Ya’ll are too f****** proud of your f****** food. No way in h*** am I paying that!”

Cashier: “I am sorry, ma’am, but all our prices are clearly posted and this is the total for the items you have selected.”

Customer: “Like h***! I worked in food, I know how it works, and this is overpriced! I want to see your b****-a** manager; where’s he hiding!?”

(I come out of the office and address the customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have heard, quite clearly, everything you have said, and I assure you the prices are right.”

Customer: “Prove it. Prove that the s*** cost you four bucks!”

(I dig through my paperwork and find the appropriate invoice and bring it out to the customer. She looks through it with an expert eye.)

Customer: “See! F*** you! This s*** should have only been like $13!”

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, that’ll be $13.”

Mugged Of Coffee Common Sense

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

Me: “Good morning, sir, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “A mugachino, thanks.”

(I ring it up as a large cappuccino as we’ve figured out that’s what most customers who order a ‘mugachino’ want. After a few minutes I take the coffee to him.)

Me: “Here you go, one large cappuccino.”

Customer: “I didn’t order a cupachino! I ordered a mugachino! Where is my coffee?!”

Me: “A mugachino refers to a cappuccino in the largest cup available, sir… That is a large cappuccino.”

Customer: “I want a mugachino. Now go get me my d*** coffee!”

Me: “Of course, sir, sorry about the mix up. I’ll get that right away.”

(I walk around the corner to the coffee machine, sprinkle a bit more chocolate on top to make it look different and return with the same coffee.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. One mugachino. I must have mixed your order up with another customer.”

Customer: “About time… How hard was that? Gosh, I am never coming back here!”

Cappuccino-no

, | SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m waitressing when one of our baristas calls me over. She asks me to go to one of the tables and confirm that the elderly customer had ordered a long black and a cappuccino, as she had forgotten to write it down. The customer confirms this, and I take the order out to the customer and her husband who has now joined the table.)

Me: “Okay, long black?”

Customer: “Thank you.”

Me: “And your cappuccino, sir.”

Customer: “That was supposed to be a flat white!”

Me: “I’m so sorry; I thought I confirmed with you that it was a cappuccino.”

Customer: “Yes, but I forgot what my husband usually orders!”

(The husband spoke up and half-heartedly told me a cappuccino will do. I apologised again and then walked off wondering what part I had to be sorry for!)

Would Love To See Her React To Blueberry Pie

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

(Where I work we have gummy bears as an extra on the menu, and when younger kids come in I tend to fill a little dish with bears from the container and offer it to them while their guardians decide what to order. The other day, I offer some to a family with dad, mum, and three kids. When I offered the gummy bears to the kids, they recoiled and looked at their mum.)

Mother: “Are there blue gummy bears in there?”

Me: *I look at the container in my hand* “Yes, there are.”

(She nods ‘yes’ to her kids, who grab all the gummy bears from the container except the blue ones. I open my mouth to joke about them leaving the blue ones when the mother smacks the container out of my hand, shattering the dish on the floor and spilling bears everywhere. Very calmly she steps forward and informs me:)

Mother: “Blue food is unnatural and the Devil’s work.”

(Stunned, I stare at her while she calmly fills her order and her kids don’t even blink. No further comments are made other than:)

Mother: “You should wear gloves while cleaning this up, dear.”

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