I am an admin at an Internet café, back when the Internet is quite new and a lot of people rely on these cafes for access. My job was mainly dishing out access codes to people who pay for access — for a short time, like an hour or two. Yep, this is a long time ago when access isn’t universally available and is HUGELY expensive.

Suddenly, we have a power outage, so nothing is on. Enter two customers.

Customer: “We want an hour of access on two computers.”

Me: “There is no electricity.”

Customer: “But is there Internet?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Customer: *To their friend* “Wow. What are the chances of the place losing electricity and Internet at the same time?!”

They left, confused, and left me confused.

It had been a very long day already, and I was very frazzled. I was in the process of taking down an order from a regular customer; our food is very customisable, so lots of changes are not unusual, and we hand-write tickets.

The customer ordered a chicken burger with an extra chicken patty. It’s worth noting that this customer was not white.

What I meant to say was, “Chicken burger with an extra chicken patty.”

What came out — I realised in horror midway through — was my brain squashing those words together, so I went ahead and asked them if they were having a chicken P*ki. (This is a derogatory term for a person from Pakistan here in England.)

I immediately went and hid out the back as my colleagues cackled at my misfortune.

Thankfully, the regular has forgiven me.

I have worked for a few counter service cafes. The one I am currently at has a strange payment screen. The tip has to be chosen first, and then the card can be tapped, swiped, or inserted. Everywhere else I’ve worked has the card first and then you tip, so I understand people’s confusion and am happy to explain.

This lady was just rude, though.

Customer: “It’s not working. Does the tap work?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s just backward; you have to choose the tip first and then it’ll let you tap.”

Customer: *Mumbling loud enough for me to hear* “No tip, since no one wants to work anymore.”

If I could have, I would have said, “You’re right; I don’t,” and canceled her order. I know tips are not guaranteed, but at least keep your rude thoughts to yourself!

I operate a small cafe and bakery. I got a Facebook message from a potential customer at 1:00 am.

Customer: “I’d like to order a [whole pie] to be picked up at 6:00 am today.”

The customer came to the shop at 6:00 am to pick up the pie.

Me: “I’m sorry, but the pie isn’t ready yet. I was sleeping when the message came through.”

They were genuinely surprised and upset that it wasn’t ready!

I work in a cafe, and we start to pack up at 12:00. One time, this group of mums and their little kids came in at 12:00. They all ordered coffee as I hadn’t closed the machine, and they tried to order some food. Their kids were being pests, and we still needed to pack up the inside of the cafe.

So, I started to play explicit songs over the speakers — nothing bad, just language, and my supervisor agreed.

All it took was one child to repeat a word and then all of them were saying words from the songs. The mums quickly gathered their kids and left.