I worked in a waffle café in Sweden, in a town that gets a lot of Norwegian tourists every summer. Norwegian is very similar to Swedish, but some words are quite different which can cause some misunderstandings.

It is a very hot day — like, 32 degrees Celsius (90F), which is hot for a Swede — with amazing weather, and the tiny café is flooded with guests. I have worked at the till for many hours. I am hot, thirsty, hungry, and tired.

Customer: “Three waffles with raspberry jam, two coffees, and a sparkling water.”

Me: “Yes, sir! That will be [amount].”

Woman Behind Him: “Do you have ice?”

Me: “Ice? With the water?”

Woman Behind Him: *Like I am very stupid* “No! On the waffles!”

Me: “You want ice… With the waffles?”

Woman Behind Him: “Yes! On the waffles.”

Me: *Picturing ice cubes on the waffles* “You want us to put ice from the freezer on your waffles?”

The man and the woman exchange glances.

Woman Behind Him: “Yes. On one of the waffles.”

Me: *Long silence* “Right. We’ll do that.”

We finish the transaction, the couple (and their kid) takes a table outside in the sun and I give the order to the VERY confused kitchen. Three plates, three waffles: two with cream and raspberry jam, and one with ice cubes and raspberry jam.

They happen to be served by my boss, and I see them being confused for a short while before they double over in laughter. My boss comes back in with the ice cube waffle.

Boss: *Very amused* “Take a break. Drink water.”

Me: “No, it’s fine.”

Boss: “[My Name], ‘ice’ is Norwegian for ‘ice cream’. Take a break. Drink water.” 

The break was very, very needed.

I work in a hotel lounge and café. I am often responsible for fielding and punching up room service orders. A room calls back down, outraged.

Guest: “We’ve been sent some fish!”

Me: *Checking the room number* “Yes, that’s what I have written down as what you ordered, ma’am.”

Guest: “That’s a load of crap! I very clearly ordered the walleye fillet!”

I didn’t even try. I put ’em on hold and bounced ’em to the manager’s office.

I brought a friend to an anime convention, and we ended up walking past the maid cafe.

Friend: “Oh, my God, that is so typical!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Friend: *Pointing to maid cafe entrance* “Look at that! It’s a total male fantasy thing. I can’t believe this is allowed.” 

Me: “Nobody is forced to do it, and it’s something they’ve done at anime conventions for a long time. It’s kind of a tradition now.”

Friend: “And it’s also totally unfair. I mean, you don’t see a room where women can have cute guys serving them.”

Me: *Pointing* “That would be the butler cafe. It’s just down the hall.”

My friend did look quite embarrassed by this revelation and quietly apologized. She actually made an appointment at the butler cafe later.

I frequent a cafe where the owner goes all in for decorating whenever he has an excuse. However, as a straight man in his seventies, he’s not up to speed on the details of LGBTQ culture.

Owner: “I’ve just learned something! Did you know there’s more than one pride flag? I thought it was just the rainbow, but no, there are so many.”

Me: “[Owner], you ordered one of each, didn’t you?”

Owner: “Of course I did! Just you wait. Come back here in a week, and there will be more flags than you know what to do with.”

The next week, I’m back. I’m an early riser and usually one of the first customers, and as I arrive, [Owner] and one of his employees are still actively hanging flags.

Owner: “[My Name], come in! Look, they’ve all arrived. There’re so many!”

Me: “Wow, I don’t know what half of these flags are.”

Owner: “Aha, look what [Employee] made me.”

He pulls out a printout that shows each flag, its name, and what that label means.

Owner: “This one’s asexual — not sure why they’re stuck with such gloomy colors — and that’s bisexual. That one’s pansexual, which seems like it’s the same thing as bisexual but with nice colors.”

He opens a box.

Owner: “Let’s see who’s next. Well… who is this one?”

It’s got red bars at the top and bottom and a tree in the middle on a white bar.

Owner: “Let me see, it must be here somewhere… I can’t find it, but it’s when two women… I think it’s women…”‘

Me: “[Owner], I think that’s the Lebanese flag.”

Owner: “Lebanese, yes, thank you! That’s women who marry women, right?”

Employee: “[Owner], that’s lesbian. We talked about this, remember? Lebanese is like [Other Customer]. From Lebanon.”

Owner: “But when she said she was Lebanese, I thought…”

Employee: “You met her husband!”

Owner: “Well… I didn’t want to assume. Now, let’s pack that away until we work out when the Lebanese national holiday is, and we’ll pretend that we’re just showing solidarity with [Other Customer], shall we?”

I’m a student. I have the misfortune that one day a week, I have a class in the morning and one in the afternoon, with a sizeable gap between them. I could go home, but I decide to make the most of the time to study on campus.

Today, I’ve caught up on my assigned reading and have decided to get some lunch in a café. Although the café is on campus, it’s open to both students and non-students. 

While studying, I have also gotten into learning German via an app with a green owl as the mascot. As I’m munching away on my food, I have one earbud in while I go through some lessons on the app.

At the table next to me is an older couple. The man keeps looking over occasionally and scowling at me.

Man: “Typical. Kids can’t go two seconds without their eyes glued to a screen.”

I ignore him.

Man: “They could be reading or learning something new, but no, they just sit glued to their phones. Ridiculous.”

The man raises his voice slightly, clearly intending for me to hear him. The woman he’s with slaps his arm.

Woman: “Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and eat your pasty.”

Man: “Well, it’s just ridiculous. It’s rotting their brains, all these phones. Look at her, transfixed by some stupid video.”

Annoyed, I look up at him.

Me: “Can I help you?”

The man grins smugly.

Man: “Ah, coming up for air, ay? Good to see you can tear yourself away from that infernal thing for a second. I’m sure it won’t last.”

The woman looks like she wishes the ground would swallow her.

Me: “How is me using my phone to learn a new language affecting you in any way?”

I turn my phone to show him.

Man: “Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know you were doing that?”

Me: “So, you didn’t know for sure what I was doing? You just decided I was watching a video? Even if I was, it’s none of your business. It’s not affecting you in any way. Maybe you should try learning a new skill or bettering yourself instead of hassling strangers with ignorant comments.”

The woman laughs. The man refuses to look at me anymore, and he starts to grumble under his breath.

Woman: “I told you to mind your business.”

The man begrudgingly went back to his lunch. I went back to learning more German.

I’d like to think the man learned a lesson that day, but judging by his grumbling and glares at other people using their phones, he didn’t learn a thing.