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I’m Feeling Pretty Coffee Myself Too

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a cafe that is attached to a smaller (more on the expensive side) specialty grocery store. I usually work the morning shift and have come to understand that people aren’t quite awake when they come up to my counter and order their coffee. However, more often than not I get this response from people…)

Me: “Good morning. How are you?”

Guest: “I’ll have a tall coffee.”

Me: *to coworker after patron has left the café* “I didn’t know tall coffee was a mood…”

When Coffee Really Is An Emergency

| Gillette, NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(Our café doesn’t charge on-duty police/fireman/EMS. I am a shift supervisor at the time working with two coworkers. I am currently in the back room doing restock.)

Coworker #1: “[My Name], there is this woman who is asking for a free drink because she is an EMT, but she isn’t in uniform. I told her I had to ask you for permission.”

(Coworker #2 comes into the back with dishes in hand to make it look like he need to a reason to come into the back.)

Coworker #2: “This is the second time she has come in claiming to be on the first aid squad and an EMT and since I and [Coworker #1] are refusing to give her a free drink she wants to speak to you.”

(I walk out of the backroom.)

Me: “Hi, I am the shift supervisor.”

Customer: “I am on the first aid squad and I would like to get a free [really expensive espresso bar drink].”

Me: “Sure, can I see some credentials or proof you are on the first aid squad?”

Customer: “I just told you I am on it.”

Me: “Yes, I heard.”

Customer: “So, can I get my free drink?”

Me: “As soon as I can see some proof that you are on the first aid squad.”

Customer: “I just told you.”

(This repeats for about five minutes and I don’t want to deal with it anymore.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll make you this drink once on me but next time you come in, just show some proof you are on the first aid squad if you want a free coffee.”

(She leaves. Three days later, I am working with my manager and another coworker, Coworker #3. I have already informed my manager about said incident. In walks the same customer.)

Customer: “I am on the first aid squad and I would like a free drink.”

Coworker #3: “Let me get permission.”

(Coworker #3 turns to me. The customer does not seem to be happy that I am there.)

Me: “Hello again. Do you have proof this time?”

Customer: “I just told you that i am on first aid squad.”

Me: “Hold on one second.”

(I get my manager to come to the front.)

Manager: “Hi. I am [Manager] and I am the manager here. [My Name] has informed me of what he has asked of you to bring proof that you say you are on the squad. We will ask you your name and ask [Coworker #4] if she recognizes your name, as she is also on the first aid squad, but today we will not be able to give you a free drink for we only give those to cops, firemen, and EMS.”

Me: “And only when they are on duty.”

(The customer leaves in a huff.)

Manager: *turns with a straight face* “You said doodie!”

Plainly Didn’t Order That

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m sitting at a table in a small café. The lady behind the counter puts two orders on the pickup counter and calls out what they are.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I didn’t really hear what you said. What are these orders?”

Worker: “This is a breakfast sandwich with hash browns and this is a plain bagel with butter.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s what those are?”

Worker: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “Well, it’s just that I didn’t order a plain bagel with butter.”

Worker: “Well, then it’s somebody else’s order.”