Lattes And Sugar And Foam, Oh My

| Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(During an average shift at my café:)

Me: “Large latte!”

Customer: “No! I ordered a cappuccino with no foam!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. Same thing. Latte is cappuccino with no foam”

Customer: “You’re all useless!”

(A little later:)

Me: “Two lattes and a mocha.”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God I ordered a mocha and two lattes!”

Me: “…”

(A little later:)

Customer #3: *demands to see which skim milk we use to ensure it’s skim enough* “Okay, that will do. And I’ll have some whip cream on top, too.”

Me: “…”

(A little later:)

Me: “Would you like any sugar in your take away coffee?”

Customer #4: “No, sugar is POISON. I’ll have nine sweeteners.”

Me: “Sorry, was that nine?”

(It was. A little later:)

Customer #5: “I’ll have a caramel iced coffee without the caramel.”

Me: “So just a regular iced coffee?” *caramel ice coffee is a dollar more*

Customer: “CARAMEL ice coffee, just no caramel. Are you awake? Jeez.”

Me: “No worries.”

(I could write a novel.)

The Bananas Were Killed Humanely

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My Vietnamese coworker asks me to help a customer as he does not quite understand her question.)

Me: “Hello. What can I help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was just wondering if there is any chicken, fish, or pork in your banana bread?”

Me: “No… there is no meat of any kind in our banana bread.”

Customer: “I always check. I’m a vegetarian, you know.”

That Question Is On Thin Ice

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in the cafe of a national chain bookstore, where customers can help themselves to free ice water at the condiments counter.)

Me: *tidying up the condiments*

Customer: “Excuse me. Is this real ice?”

Me: “…what’s fake ice?”

Reached Your Tea Total, Part 5

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Food & Drink

(I work at a club that serves complimentary tea, coffee, soft drinks etc. to poker machine players. I get a call and head to the machine where a lady wants to order something.)

Me: “Hi, how’s it going today?”

Patron: “Tea, please.”

Me: “Absolutely. What sort of tea are you after?”

Patron: “Uh, tea? You know… put the bag in the cup with boiling water. I can’t believe you don’t know what tea is.”

Me: “Yes, I do know what tea is. What I meant was do you want a black tea or white? Are you after sugar? Earl grey, English breakfast, decaf, peppermint, green, ginseng currant and lime, chai?”

Patron: “It’s all tea. Put the bag in the water. How is this so hard?”

Me: “No worries miss, I’ll be back in a second.”

(I go to the kitchen, close my eyes, grab any teabag, and put it in. Go back; she looks at it.)

Patron: “I asked for milk and two sugars.”

Me: “Of course you did. I’m sooo sorry about that. I’ll be right back.”

(Returns with correct tea.)

Patron: “Thank you sooo much.” *sarcastically*

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 4
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 3
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2

Those Must Be Some Magic Beans

| Richmond, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

Customer: “I need a pound of beans. Do you have any Mexican beans?”

Me: “Today all we have are beans from Ethiopia and Sumatra.”

Customer: “Which one of those is from Mexico?”

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