The Bananas Were Killed Humanely

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(My Vietnamese coworker asks me to help a customer as he does not quite understand her question.)

Me: “Hello. What can I help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “I was just wondering if there is any chicken, fish, or pork in your banana bread?”

Me: “No… there is no meat of any kind in our banana bread.”

Customer: “I always check. I’m a vegetarian, you know.”

That Question Is On Thin Ice

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in the cafe of a national chain bookstore, where customers can help themselves to free ice water at the condiments counter.)

Me: *tidying up the condiments*

Customer: “Excuse me. Is this real ice?”

Me: “…what’s fake ice?”

Reached Your Tea Total, Part 5

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Food & Drink

(I work at a club that serves complimentary tea, coffee, soft drinks etc. to poker machine players. I get a call and head to the machine where a lady wants to order something.)

Me: “Hi, how’s it going today?”

Patron: “Tea, please.”

Me: “Absolutely. What sort of tea are you after?”

Patron: “Uh, tea? You know… put the bag in the cup with boiling water. I can’t believe you don’t know what tea is.”

Me: “Yes, I do know what tea is. What I meant was do you want a black tea or white? Are you after sugar? Earl grey, English breakfast, decaf, peppermint, green, ginseng currant and lime, chai?”

Patron: “It’s all tea. Put the bag in the water. How is this so hard?”

Me: “No worries miss, I’ll be back in a second.”

(I go to the kitchen, close my eyes, grab any teabag, and put it in. Go back; she looks at it.)

Patron: “I asked for milk and two sugars.”

Me: “Of course you did. I’m sooo sorry about that. I’ll be right back.”

(Returns with correct tea.)

Patron: “Thank you sooo much.” *sarcastically*

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 4
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 3
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2

Those Must Be Some Magic Beans

| Richmond, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

Customer: “I need a pound of beans. Do you have any Mexican beans?”

Me: “Today all we have are beans from Ethiopia and Sumatra.”

Customer: “Which one of those is from Mexico?”

Take It On The House!

| Richmond, VA, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “What is your house blend today?”

Me: “Today our drip coffee is from Brazil. We actually don’t use blends. Everything is single-origin.”

Customer: “So you don’t have house blends?”

Me: “These beans are lightly roasted, which many people prefer for drip coffee. I think you will be satisfied.”

Customer: “But I just want a house blend!”

Me: *handing her a cup* “Try the Brazil. That is the only coffee we have brewed at the moment.”

Customer: “Will you brew a house blend later today?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *looking at the airpot* “So Brazil is your only house blend today?”

Me: “Yes.”

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