It Does If You Fast-Forward At 88 Miles An Hour

, , , , | Right | April 24, 2019

I was at an office of my cable company, picking up my first DVR. The person helping me briefly went over how it all worked, like how far back I could rewind, recording, etc.

Then, with a resigned look, she adds, “You know you can’t fast-forward live television, right?”

I can only imagine how many complaining customers she’d dealt with who didn’t understand that the DVR was not, in fact, a time-travel machine into the future. I’ve never had so much sympathy for a cable company employee in my life.

1 Thumbs

Unfiltered Story #138498

, , | Unfiltered | February 1, 2019

This is a story my brother told me, he was working at an otsourced call center for a major cable company in USA.

Brother: Thank you for calling Comcast Custome service, My name is Sal, how can I help you?

Customer: I want you to cancel these charges!

Brother: Can you give me your customer code or phone number?

The irate lady provides her customer number and my brother sees copious amounts of p*rn movies rentals.

Brother: Ma’am, you seem to have rented several movies this month.

Customer: What!? I did not do such thing! What movies were rented!?

My brother proceeds to read the titles of the movies, cinema gems such as “Cheating Wives”, “Naughty Coeds” and some others too explicit to mention here. As he continues to read the names she interrupts him.


Brother: It says here they were rented from your secondary box.

Customer: That’s impossible that’s my son’s TV, he’s only 11

She gasped suddendly as if some epiphany got to her and yells to the top of her lungs


She quickly hangs up

Unfiltered Story #137039

, , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2019

(I work for a tv, phone and broadband provider and have been taking calls for a while, we were warned that people might ask silly questions)

Me “hi your through to julie at [business] how can I help”

Customer “my broadband isn’t working, not connecting right”

Me “okay let me have a look at your account, is that a wirless n router you have”

Customer “no my internet isn’t wireless, it’s got a power cable”

(I had to put him on hold to take a minute, the worst of it was he was born in 1986).

Not Making A Sweet(ie) Sale That Day

, , , , , | Working | January 10, 2019

(My husband and I are about to run out to do some errands. As I’m gathering my things together, the doorbell rings. It’s some grizzled-looking dude, perhaps a few years older than my 40-something husband, wearing a uniform polo and hawking Internet, cable, and phone service door-to-door. My husband decides to humor him and listen to his pitch on our front stoop while I get ready. Please note that I am also in my 40s and look it. I join them after a few minutes, and speak up at an appropriate break in the conversation.)

Me: *to my husband* “Ready to go?”

Salesman: *to husband* “That’s why [Internet service] is the best.” *to me, in what I can only describe as a “men are talking”-type condescending tone* “Hi, sweetie.”

Husband: *under his breath and with a smirk on his face* “Uh-oh.”

Me: *completely flabbergasted* “EXCUSE ME?”

(I don’t know what my face looks like just then, but the salesman blanches and starts to stammer.)

Salesman: “Uh… Um, thanks for humoring me.” *takes off down our stairs at a record pace without looking back*

Husband: *huge grin on his face* “Aaaaand that’s when he realized the steel trap had closed on his nuts.”

1 Thumbs

Unfiltered Story #133439

, , | Unfiltered | December 20, 2018

(I work at a company that offers cable and internet service. We recently came out with a service similar to Netflix.)

Customer: So tell me about [service].

Me: Okay. Well right now it is available as a streaming service, through you’re computer or tablets. It is $4 a month but the first month is free. You sign in with your email and password and can watch whatever content they have there. Later this week they are supposed to be launching it on our Ondemand through your tv as well.

Customer: So I can use my tv to watch it? and how do I access it?

(I go through the steps that would be needed to access it through the tv once it is available and stress a few times that it will only be available later in the week. He adds the service and I think that is the end of the conversation.)

An hour later a call comes in…

Customer: So i just added [service]. But I can’t find it on my Ondemand…

Me: The Ondemand for that service is only going to be available later this week…

Customer: Oh, okay…*hangs up*