Returner Burner, Part 8

, , , , , | Right | April 17, 2018

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these pants.”

Me: “Sure, can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Well, since these are [Jeans], which is a national brand, I can’t accept the return.”

Customer: “Can I speak with a manager?”

Me: *internal sigh* “Sure.”

(As I’m about to reach for the phone to page for a manager, I notice ANOTHER store’s tag on the pants.)

Me: “Sir, did you buy these at another store?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *pause* “Then you need to go to that store.”

Customer: “But they wouldn’t accept it and you guys carry the brand so I thought you would.”

Me: “No, we can’t accept the return nor give you store credit.”

Customer: “WELL, FINE!” *storms off*

Returner Burner, Part 7
Returner Burner, Part 6
Returner Burner, Part 5

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This Purchase Has Gone Dry

, , , , , , | Right | February 9, 2018

(I’m taking care of a big rush of customers at the register as quickly as I can, with another cashier and one of my managers, when a customer comes up with a hair dryer that she wants to exchange.)

Customer: “Hi, I bought this a few months ago and it just stopped working on me for no reason. I don’t have the receipt.”

Me: “Okay! Do you have a loyalty card with us? We can look it up.”

(She gives me her number and it pulls up her mother’s account.)

Me: “I’m not seeing this product. Do you have your own account that we can look it up on?”

(The woman clearly looks annoyed, but gives me her number. Our system usually will trace back purchases for about nine or ten months after, but nothing is showing up in her transaction history)

Me: “So, I’m not finding it in this one, either. You said you bought this a few months ago?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you just go back and find it?”

Me: “That’s the problem, ma’am. There’s absolutely nothing here to go back to. If you want to grab the new hair dryer you wanted to exchange it for, you are more than welcome to.”

(She leaves and I begin to process the return without a receipt. When you don’t have a receipt or proof of purchase, our system rings it up at the highest price possible. The woman is very upset that we can’t evenly exchange it.)

Customer: “Well, this is just ridiculous. I shop here all the time and spend a lot of money here, so it should be in there.”

(The rush has died down, so my manager comes over to ask what is going on. I explain the situation.)

Manager: “Let me call customer service to see what’s going on. Why don’t you go help the other guests at a different register?”

(I obliged, and was grateful she took over. Especially when I found out that the customer had not made a purchase at our store for four years and tried to exchange a hair dryer from 2011!)

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This Customer Isn’t As Sharp As The Average Razor

, , , , , , , | Right | January 25, 2018

(I’m working with my manager one day, when a customer comes in with a bag of shaving supply items that he purchased two months ago. We don’t accept returns on items over 15 days, but he won’t leave the store.)

Manager: “Go ahead and do a return. Just make sure the items haven’t been used; the shaving stand should be fine, though.”

Customer: “What do you mean? What if I tried the razor and didn’t like it?”

Me: “We wouldn’t be able to return it because of hygiene concerns.”

Customer: “But I only used the effing thing three times! You can resell them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take back or resell shaving items that have been used. It’s like with underwear; we wouldn’t be allowed to take back used underwear, because it’s gross.”

(After he argued with me, we found out he used every item he had purchased, and the shaving stand was broken, so we couldn’t return that, either. He left the store and came back the next day with the same items, hoping I wasn’t in, so he could return them.)

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I Do Not Approve This Fire Sale

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2018

(I work in a department store, and everyone works for different brands within the store. I am the manager for a designer men’s fashion company. We also have a big-name travel company within our store, which my coworker works for. This coworker comes over to me.)

Coworker: “Hey, I’m organising a vacation for a customer you had earlier today. He bought a jumper off you?”

Me: “Okay?”

Coworker: “Yeah, the thing is, he said the jumper was faulty, so he’s asking that instead of a refund, could I just take money off the holiday?”

Me: “Well, that’s not really how it works. I’ll still have to process the refund in-store.”

Coworker: “Oh, really? Why?”

(I’m getting frustrated at this point, as I can’t see how it isn’t obvious.)

Me: “Well, I only have his word that the jumper is faulty, and I’ll need to see his proof of purchase. In what way is it faulty, anyway?”

Coworker: “It caught on fire.”

(Stunned silence.)

Me: “It… caught on fire? Just spontaneously?!”

Coworker: “Hang on. I’ll go check.”

(I stand in disbelief until the coworker comes back.)

Coworker: “He’s complaining because he went to a restaurant, and set his bag with the jumper inside down on a candle, and it caught on fire, and he wasn’t aware that would happen.”

Me: “If he doesn’t know that putting a woollen jumper on a candle will make it catch fire, I think he has bigger problems!”

(Amazingly, this went on for another 20 minutes, with my coworker pressing for me to give the guy a refund because she wanted to close the deal on the holiday! Without a doubt, the most ridiculous customer complaint I’ve ever received.)

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Returner Burner: On Location

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2017

(I start off my shift at my main store, where I am called over when an angry customer requests the manager on duty. I look over the receipt.)

Me: “The cashier is correct. You’re well outside the 90-day return policy, and formal wear has to be unworn to be returned. You can see that here.”

Customer: “Bulls***! I paid $250 for this; you have to take it back! Do you know who I am? I’m Mrs. [Customer]!”

Me: “I’m afraid the final answer is no.”

Customer: “We’ll see!”

(Almost immediately afterwards, I have to run to a meeting held at our next closest location, which is about an hour drive away. I get there, and I am talking to another manager when I see a familiar, angry face at the returns desk. I can’t help myself, and walk up behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi there, Mrs. [Customer]! As I told you in [Home Store Location], we can’t return formal wear, and you’re outside the return date.”

Customer: “I, uh… I mean… Give me that receipt!”

(At this point I take a wild guess, as there is another store location only a twenty-minute drive away.)

Me: “I’ll give it to you, if you promise I won’t see you at [Third Store Location] trying to return this again.”

(The customer’s eyes go wide and she stares at me for a few seconds, in shock.)

Customer: “What? How did you know?!”

(She picked up her dress and ran out of the store, leaving the receipt behind.)

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