Let’s Hope The Film Has A Good Climax

| Learning | December 22, 2016

(We played Secret Santa. The only two male students in our class got condoms and popcorn.)

Teacher: “You could make a film evening!”

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Cheat Yourself Out Of A Year

| Learning | February 16, 2015

(Our class consists of students of various ages, but most of us are in our early 20s. One woman, who is 32, is the second oldest in class and has been to university before (which she failed). She’s notoriously late and often misses lessons or whole days. She missed our last economy test and now has to take it the following week while the rest of us continue with lessons. I can see her from where I sit and 10 minutes into the test see her pull out some papers from under her shirt – she is known for cheating, too.)

Me: *quietly and motioning in her direction* “Miss [Teacher], did you just see that?”

Teacher: *also quietly* “Yeah, but I really just want her to pass this class so I don’t have to teach her next year…”

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For Some, Reading Can Be A Stretch

, | Learning | April 24, 2013

(One day in class, we are learning about blood cells. The teacher is talking about platelets when one of the other students raises her hand to ask a question.)

Student: “Why do I keep seeing these videos everywhere for platelets?”

Teacher: “What do you mean?”

Student: “I keep seeing videos everywhere for platelets.”

Teacher: “I don’t know.”

My Friend: *whispers to me* “She means Pilates.”

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Days Off Shouldn’t Be A-WOLk In The Park

| Learning | March 31, 2013

(I have a summer job at a business school arranging entry exams. Note that some exams take place at a sister school on the other side of the city. A young man approaches my desk.)

Young Man: “I need to know where I’m supposed to be.”

Me: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Young Man: “My name is [first and last name].”

Me: *looking at list* “Oh, I’m afraid you’re supposed to be taking your exam at [school across town]. There’s no way you’ll make it in time. You received an e-mail about this, right?”

Young Man: *laughing* “Yeah, I did, but I had no idea where that place was so I assumed it was here!”

Me: “Oh, that’s really too bad, but you’ll miss it now.”

Young Man: “Oh, that’s okay! I didn’t even want to study here. I just wanted a day off from the army while I came here to take test. Now I have the whole day off and don’t even need to waste time on the that!”

Me:: *a little confused* “Oh, that’s… good for you.”

Young Man: *skips away happily*

Coworker: *walks up to me* “Yeah, we get a couple of those every year. Not a bad scheme at all. I might actually try it sometime.”

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