(I’m boarding passengers at a stop.)

Passenger: “Excuse me, do you go to [street]?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m going in the other direction.”

Passenger: “Ugh! I was told that bus [number] goes to [street], but you’re the third one I’ve asked, and they all say they’re going in the opposite direction!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, because all of the traffic on this side of the street goes in that direction. You need to board on the other side of the street to catch buses going in that direction.”

Passenger: “But you’re bus [number]! You should be going that direction!”

Me: “The bus routes go both directions, ma’am. You need bus [number] eastbound, on the other side of the street. Actually, I can see it just a few blocks down right now. If you just cross here to that stop right across the street, you can catch it in just a moment.”

Passenger: “Oh, no, no, I don’t want to go all the way to the other side. I guess I’ll just have to keep on waiting. But if the right bus doesn’t come soon, I’m going to be very annoyed!”

(I’m standing at the bus stop when I see the bus coming. There’s a car just a few meters before the bus stop, not allowing the bus to stop very close from the side walk. The doors open and a passenger starts descending, and stops half-way, blocking two other people and myself from getting in.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you going to descend?”

Passenger: “Yes I am, whenever this driver decides to get closer to the side walk.”

Driver: “Sorry, but I can’t get any closer, ma’am. The car is blocking me.”

Passenger: “You are obligated to stop 50cm from the side walk, and you are stopping at least a meter and a half!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but can you let me pass?”

Passenger: “No, you’ll just have to wait. I guess I’m going to stay here until the next stop.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the next stop is two blocks away, and I’ll never catch the bus. I really can’t wait for the next one.”

(I try to get on, and she pushes me away with incredible strength and I almost fall.)

Passenger: “No! You’ll just have to wait.”

Me: “Look, we are happy to help you descend if that’s the problem, but we all need to get on the bus.”

Passenger: “I don’t want you to help me descending. Do you think I’m crippled? I want the bus driver to respect the law or I’ll fill a complaint!”

Person Behind Me: “Oh, come on! Just let us pass!”

Me: “Yes, just let us in, and you can descend the next stop.”

Passenger: *screaming at bus driver* “You should stop closer to the side walk; move the bus!”

Driver: “Ma’am, I can’t. These people offered you help to descend if that was the problem, but you refused it. You can stay on the bus and descend at the next stop and let these people in, or just descend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have had enough! I need to get to my job.”

(I manage to get on the bus even though she pushes me again. She eventually descends while cursing at all of us.)

Me: “Wow, some people are just crazy.”

Driver: “You have no idea, girl!”

(I’m 12 years old and have just missed the bus to school; after running after it in vain, it pulls away. However, a second bus pulls up and the driver yells to me.)

Driver: “Hop in!”

Me: “What?”

Driver: “Come on!”

(I hop on the bus. The driver pulls away from the stop at speed and catches up to the first bus.)

Driver: “Go on! Get up earlier next time.”

(I thank him, jump off, and run to the bus I need. It was such an awesome little thing; I hope he had a good day knowing the good deed he did!)

(I’m going home on the bus with my sister. We drive past my school.)

Me: “Look, it’s my school!”

Sister: “You said that as if you were surprised it was there.”

Me: “Hey, don’t you think it would be really cool if buildings could move? Imagine that one day your school is in the middle of town, the next it’s down by the lake, and so on.”

Sister: “Yeah, but then how would you find it?”

Me: “There would be some sort of electronic chip on your school ID card, which you could use to localise the school. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Sister: “But what if you’re just arriving, and suddenly the school moves? You’d always be late for class.”

Me: “Maybe you could somehow reason with the building and talk it into moving only during the night.”

Sister: “But you still wouldn’t know what time to wake up to be on time. For all you know, the school could be at the other end of town!”

(I think for a moment.)

Me: “Actually, no, you’re right. It’s a stupid idea. The kind that people have late at night, when they’re drunk.”

Sister: “…except that it’s the afternoon, and you haven’t had a drink in your life.”

(I’m boarding a bus home in the middle of winter. Before I even touch my travel card on the reader, the following happens. Note: I’m 31 years old and just under 5 feet tall. Children under 16 can travel for free if they have a photo card.)

Driver: “You can’t use that without a photo card!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Driver: “You know the rules: no free travel without a photo card!”

Me: “I’m paying for my travel!”

Driver: “Well, I’m not letting you board without a photo card!”

Me: “What photo card?”

Driver: “Look, I’m fed up of you kids round this way f***ing about with their photo cards and making my job difficult, so photo card or get off my bus!”

Me: “Kids? I’m 31, thank you! I can show you my driving license!”

(I get out my driving license.)

Driver: “Oh, here we go with your fake ID card!”

Me: “Look, I know I look young for my age but I don’t look under 16. I’ve been waiting for this bus for 45 minutes in the cold and the snow, and it’s gone midnight already!”

Driver: “F***ing kids round here! No photo card, no travel! Get of the bus now, or I’ll call the police!”

Me: “So you’re going to let a female walk two miles home in a rough neighbourhood, int the cold and the dark?”

Driver: “Not my problem, love! Shouldn’t be out this late anyway!” *drives off*

(Thankfully I never saw that driver again!)