He Should Have “Stopped” While He Was Ahead

, , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

I am catching the bus home from work. An older gentleman and I are the only passengers on the bus, and we’re in the middle of the countryside. The old man gets up and speaks to the driver.

Driver: “I’m sorry, sir, but I am not allowed to speak to you while I am driving.”

The old man continues speaking quietly.

Driver: “It is against the law for me to speak to you while I am driving; there’s a £5000 fine. Besides, I am deaf in one ear, so I can’t drive and listen to you.”


The driver screeches to a halt by the side of the road and opens the doors, but the old man continues screaming at him. I’m pretty frightened by this point.

Driver: “Here, now I have stopped. I really don’t appreciate being sworn at.”

Old Man: “I wanted to get off back there! I know my f****** rights! It’s a hail and ride zone! I can get off wherever I f***** well like!”

Driver: “Did you even ring the bell?”

Old Man: “No, I didn’t ring the f****** bell! Here, I’ll ring the f****** bell. Does that make you happy? Eh?!”

He goes and aggressively stabs at the bell button.

Driver: “Please stop swearing at me. Please just get off the bus here, and you will not be welcome on here again.”

Old Man: “No! I am not getting off this bus! Give me your name! I am going to complain to the bus company about you! I know my rights!”

He hasn’t noticed me, and I get ready to call the police on my phone.

Driver: “Just so you are aware, this bus has CCTV.”

Old Man: *Goes pale* “Well, then shake my hand, and we’ll part as friends and say no more about it!”

He shook the driver’s hand and happily walked away up the road. I rang the bell shortly before my stop. The bus driver was so nice that he apologised for the earlier incident. I reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, and that there are some people in the world who understand how a bus works!

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Relying On The Crutches

, , , , , , , | Friendly | May 16, 2020

One morning, during my first year of college, I woke up to discover I couldn’t bear weight on my left leg, nor could I bend my knee. It was eventually diagnosed as a repetitive stress injury from sports and resolved with a simple surgery, but for a few weeks, I was on crutches with no clue as to how I’d been injured. 

I was also in ROTC at the time, and I took the bus to ROTC classes and other events. One day a week, all of us ROTC cadets were supposed to wear our military uniforms. I caught the bus with mine on and made my way to a seat on my crutches. 

A fellow passenger near the front of the bus kindly offered me his and asked, “How did you get hurt?”

Since it was before my doctor figured it out, I replied honestly, “I couldn’t tell you.”

He looked stunned and stammered out, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. Top-secret stuff, probably; I shouldn’t have asked.”

Realizing he assumed I was active duty and had been injured in some fantastic clandestine escapade, I laughed and explained, “No, I mean I have no idea. I woke up with my leg hurting a couple of weeks ago but I can’t pinpoint any specific time that I got hurt. I’m not even active duty; I’m in ROTC and won’t be commissioned until I graduate in a few years.”

He laughed, too, and wished me a quick recovery. I decided to be sure to answer plainly and clearly if asked again!

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I Guess We Can Give This Driver A Pass

, , , , , , | Working | May 4, 2020

I use my bus pass as a bookmark, figuring that with how much I love reading there would be no possible way I could ever lose it. One day, I am distracted while getting off, and only while it is pulling away do I realize I left my book on the bus. Since there isn’t really anything I can do about it, I just walk to the exchange stop, and when the next bus I need to catch pulls in, I approach the driver.

Me: “Are you able to contact the other buses?”

Driver: *Immediately hostile* “WHY?”

Me: *Startled pause* “Well, I left my bus pass on the #3.”

Driver: “No, I can’t contact the other buses. Do you have any idea how many there are on the roads at one time? Now, there are other people wanting to get on, so…”

He makes a dismissive shooing motion.

Me: “But… I also need to get home.”

Driver:Where’s home?

Me: “[Area he’s headed to].”

The driver sighs and waves me along. I take my seat and settle in for the hour-long trip. After maybe thirty minutes, we get to another hub and the driver comes up to me.

Driver: “Hey, I’m sorry about how I acted. I just get a lot of people trying to pull s***, so… here. This is a temporary pass that’ll let you ride for the next three days. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get your card back from the lost and found before it runs out.”

Unfortunately, it took over a week before the lost and found people recovered my book and pass, resulting in me spending a significant amount of money on tickets. But in the end, I was finally able to finish the story, and now I have one of my own I can tell people.

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Really Ought To Catch (A Different Bus)

, , , , , | Friendly | April 28, 2020

I commute to college by bus and my college gives me a bus pass. Because the semester hasn’t yet started, my pass isn’t valid, so I show the bus driver my military ID, which allows me to ride for free. The following conversation ensues.

Passenger #1: “Hey, what kind of bus pass is that?”

Me: “It’s my military ID. I’m in ROTC.”

Passenger #1: “RW… T…”

Me: “ROTC. It’s officer training.”

Passenger #1: “Is that like the Young Marines?”

Passenger #2: “It’s military training to become an officer.”

Passenger #1: “So, you’re going to be a police officer?”

Me: *Giving up* “No, I’m going to be a pilot.”

Passenger #1: “Do you think you need to be SEALs or Special Forces? Because you’ve gotta have rank before they let you do that.”

Me: “ROTC is how I’m getting that rank.”

Passenger #1: “Oh. Man, flying planes has gotta be cool. I mean, busses, driving, that’s cool. Walking sucks.”

He got off at the next stop. The best part: the conversation meant I missed my stop and had to walk twelve blocks home.

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Socially Distant From Understanding

, , , , , | Friendly | April 21, 2020

Due to a spreading illness, I am following the rules of keeping social distance from other people — whenever possible, that is. I’m on the bus and my stop is approaching, so I get up and stand near the doors. A woman to my immediate right makes movements that make me think she wants to get up, too, and I look over.

She barks at me with an attitude, “Keep social distance!”

I manage half a step in the small space to put more distance between us.

It’s a bus. It’s a bit difficult to keep the desired two meters away from everyone when you are stuck in those narrow hallways between the seat rows. Maybe I should have told her that she didn’t seem to care about social distance when I was sitting right behind her.

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