(I’m on the bus and I overhear this conversation.)

Woman #1: “I feel like my boyfriend is cheating on me!”

Woman #2: “Which one?”

(My family and I are on a coach to my cousin’s wedding reception. We are all fairly bored and, as I am sitting next to her, I decide to play a few games with my mum.)

Me: “Simon says laugh.”

Mum: *gives me a questioning look, fake laughs for a bit, then stops*

Me: “Keep laughing!”

Mum: *fake laughs again*

Me: “You’re out!”

Mum: *realises what has happened and laughs for real*

(My little sister and I have spent most of our winters in the Midwest or Northeast, unlike some of our classmates who have never been outside of Virginia and in some cases have never seen snow in their lives. My sister and her friend are about six when this happens.)

Sister’s Friend: *seeing ice crystals on the grass* “IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED!”

Me: “No, it didn’t.”

Sister’s Friend: *bouncing up and down, too excited to listen* “IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED!”

Sister: “That’s not snow; it’s just frost.”

Sister’s Friend: *still bouncing* “IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED!”

Me: *rolls eyes* “Southerners.”

(I am on a day tour in Rome. At the end of the tour, the guide speaks of reviewing the tour.)

Guide: “So, if you loved the tour today, my name is [Guide] and the driver is [Driver]. If you hated this tour, my name is Olga and the driver is Alonso.”

(I’m not quite awake yet and getting the bus to town.)

Me: “Single to [Village], please.”

Bus Driver: “This is [Village].”

Me: “Oh… sorry. Single to [Town], please.”

Bus Driver: “It’s okay. It’s Monday morning.”