(I’m on the bus, and there’s a guy that is sitting in a way so that he blocks three quarters of the aisle, and takes up two seats. This is annoying enough, but then, he lifts his hand in an insulting gesture, and waves at everyone, even children.)
Bus Driver: “Excuse me, sir, you need to stop.”
Guy: “It wasn’t at you!”
(Everyone stares.)
Guy: “It wasn’t at any of you! Really! No offense.”
(He proceeded to do it until the driver finally kicked him out.)
(The entire grade is coming home from a field trip on a school bus. There are two teachers on it with us, one that doesn’t teach our grade and one that does. Towards the back of the bus, a boy starts bullying the girl next to him, calling her hurtful names and making sexist remarks, just quietly enough that the teachers can’t hear. She finally gets fed up.)
Girl: “WOULD YOU STOP BEING SUCH A F****** MISOGYNIST?”
(There is an awkward silence as both teachers look back at her.)
Teacher #1: “Young lady, watch your diction! What’s your name? I’m going to be telling your teacher about this!”
Teacher #2: “Hey, she’s my student. I can take care of this.”
(He walks to the back and the students around the girl tell the story.)
Teacher #2: “Okay, [Girl], watch your mouth. Boy, stop being such a d*** a**-hole.”
Teacher #1: *shocked* “[Teacher #2], diction!”
Teacher #2: “Oh, my diction was just right.”
This story is part of our Women’s Equality Day roundup!
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(My friends and I are hanging out for one of my friends’ 21st birthday. Since we are on a bus, we’re trying to be respectful of those around us.)
Friend: “Happy birthday! I got you some adult literature since you are turning 21.”
(She hands him a paper bag that looks like it is holding a book. Since my friends are as likely to do a dramatic reading of a poem by Sappho as watch Spongebob, I wasn’t sure if she was being funny or serious.)
Me: “Oh, no, I didn’t think we were buying you presents.”
Birthday Boy: “You aren’t. [Friend] is just being insistent. I told [Friend] not to buy me anything!”
Me: “So, what is it? Or should you unwrap it later?”
Birthday Boy: “Let’s see.”
(He unwrapped it. It was a comic book tie-in for a popular children’s cartoon.)
(I’m sitting on a city bus on a chilly winter day, across the lane from a teenager. She’s wearing a heavy jacket, which is appropriate for the weather, but she has it half zipped and is hiding something bulky underneath it, against her stomach. I can see the handles of a plastic bag poking out the open zipper, and she’s cradling the bulk of it with her free hand. She looks like a bit of a punk, but aside from listening to music on her headphones a little loud, she is minding her own business. A older woman boards the bus, and seems to immediately fixate on the teenager, her eyes bulging and her cheeks going red. She huffs and puffs and stomps past the empty courtesy seats to sit next to the teenager.)
Old Woman: “I can’t believe you people.”
(The teenager appears not to hear her over the sound of her music. The woman huffs and puffs, and actually prods at her until she looks up and takes off her headphones, which only makes her madder.)
Old Woman: “I can’t believe you people! Bringing trash like that onto a bus.”
Teenager: “What?”
Old Woman: “What is that? Booze? Drugs? You think no one will notice if you hide it under your jacket like that? You kids make me sick. So irresponsible! Your parents ought to be ashamed at the way you act in public!”
Teenager: “I don’t drink, lady. Besides, they sell alcohol in cloth bags these days.”
Old Woman: “Like h*** you don’t. How would you know that unless you went and bought booze?! You think I’m blind? I can see it! You think I wouldn’t notice that?”
(The woman reaches out to poke the thing under the teenagers jacket, but the teenager shields it with her arm.)
Old Woman: “See, you wouldn’t be trying to hide it if you didn’t have anything to hide!”
(The teenager sighs, and then unzips her jacket to lift out the object in the plastic bag. It’s another plastic bag, filled with water and holding a large brightly coloured fish.)
Teenager: “Isn’t he pretty? He’s a peacock cichlid. They come from Lake Malawi in Africa, where the water temperature stays at a nice constant twenty five degrees. Of course, I’d hate for him to get chilly on a cold day like today. That could make him sick! If I leave him out in the open his water could go cold. That would be terribly irresponsible, don’t you think?”
(The woman stared, huffed, puffed, then stomped off to sit at the front of the bus, with a face like she’d been made to suck lemons, and the teenager took her fish home without any more interrogations.)
(I’m on the bus passing F. Rooseveltplaats which translates as F. Roosevelt Square when I overheard following:)
Teenager #1: “Yeah, you know, the “F” stands for “Franklin” and I researched this guy. He was an American president, you know.”
Teenager #2: “Don’t you mean Theodore Roosevelt? Maybe it is Theodore Franklin Roosevelt?”
Teenager #1: “No, it’s Franklin; maybe there are two presidents Roosevelt?”
Teenager #2: “The only other Franklin I know is Benjamin Franklin. Maybe the square is named after the two of them.”
Teenager #1: “Maybe.”
Teenager #2: “You know, Franklin invented the kite.”
Teenager #1: “Really?”
Teenager #2: “Oh, yeah. For us, a kite is nothing but back then, they didn’t have much for entertainment and it was quite a big deal.”
(This was as much as I could handle but fortunately my stop was up.)
