Can’t See The Smokers For The Scams

| Perth, WA, Australia | Friendly | October 5, 2016

(I am waiting for my bus to arrive. The bus/train station has a small kiosk. I have noticed a young girl, no more than 15, walking up to people, asking them something every time and getting a no. I thought she was asking for change which I would have helped her out with but I found that was wrong when she came up to me.)

Girl: “Hey, could you buy me a pack of Longbeach?” *cigarettes*

Me: “Seriously? No”

Girl: “Aw, come on, lady. I can give you the money for them. Please, no-one will know.”

Me: “Listen, there are two very big reasons why I’m not going to help you. One: you’re clearly underage and the fine if I got caught I can’t afford. Two: the woman who runs the kiosk has known my family and me since I was 15 and knows about my serious asthma and knows I don’t smoke. So can’t help there.”

(She stomped off calling me names.)

Almost Convinced You

, | Perth, WA, Australia | Friendly | May 25, 2016

(On my way to my university, I leave a train, and head to the ticket check. While I’m moving, I hear someone calling out behind me. I move forward, ignoring him, until…)

Stranger: “Hey! Hey!”

(He shakes my hand, and I realise he was calling out for me.)

Stranger: “You don’t know me, but I’ve got to say, I love your hair. It reminds me of this band, this guy, in The Almost, see?”

(He shows me his phone, showing this “Almost” thing and a guitarist who sort-of looks like me, if you squint.)

Stranger: “You should listen to his band. Do you like it? It’s a good song. What sort of music do you listen to?”

(I’m normally quiet, and I can’t think of what to say… especially since my taste in music is very non-conventional.)

Stranger: “Do you like rock?”

Me: “Uh… maybe?”

(I mean, I like music that sometimes is rock?)

Stranger: “You should check out this song. The band’s called The Almost, and the song is [Name]. Anyway, I know you don’t know me, but I love your hair. I’ve got to go now. See you!”

(He shook my hand again, and he finally walked off, just in time for my bus to arrive and for me to start my next leg of the journey, in the opposite direction of his.)

Enough People To Fill A Bus

| Boston, MA, USA | Friendly | February 19, 2016

(I am the idiot in this story, being unfamiliar with driving in the city I have somehow driven into the ‘BUSES ONLY’ section of the station. I spot a driver on his break and pull up next to him.)

Me: “I am so lost; can you please tell me how to get out of here?”

Driver: *points* “Follow the street along that wall as it curves up and you’ll get back to the street.”

Me: *very embarrassed* “Please tell me I’m not the only person who’s done this.”

Driver: *laughs* “Lady, you aren’t even the first person TODAY!”

Needs To Board A School Bus

| BC, Canada | Right | April 3, 2014

(I work at a bus depot which has trips running daily to Alberta. I’m not new to the job, and know pretty much all the common destinations.)

Customer: “My daughter needs a ticket to Dukin.”

Me: “Dukin? I’ve never heard of it. Where is it?”

Customer: “In Alberta! I know there’s a bus going to Dukin tonight! She took this trip last month. I know you guys go there, you know, Doo – kin. Dukin!”

Me: “It’s not in the computer. How do you spell it?”

Customer: “L – E – D… something…”

Me: “Leduc?”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said: Dukin!”

(She buys tickets regularly now, and calls the city Dukin to this day.!)

1 Thumbs

Not Ever Working, Part 5

| Canada | Working | August 31, 2012

(During rush hour, part of the subway line has unexpectedly closed down, forcing me to board a shuttle bus at an unfamiliar station. I ask an employee for help.)

Me: “Excuse me, which platform is the shuttle bus boarding on?”

Employee: “Follow the crowd.”

Me: “Sir, it’s rush hour. There are people going in every direction.”

Employee: “Not my problem.”

Me: “Can you please tell me where I board the bus?”

Employee: “No!”


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