(I’m about 12 years old. I am a victim of bullying, and all my friends have ditched me. After a particularly rough day, I am visually upset, and I decide to stop by a burger joint on my way home from school.)

Me: “How much is a slider?”

Employee #1: “$2.06.”

Me: “I only have t-two dollars.”

Employee #1: “That’s okay. Are you feeling all right? What’s the matter?”

Me: “My friends aren’t v-very nice p-people. And I’m-m being b-bullied at school.”

Employee #2: *handing me a cup*

Me: “Oh, sir, I think you m-misheard-d me.”

Employee #2: “It’s okay. The soda machine is over there.”

Me: “Thank you, thank you!”

Cook: “Do you like cheese on your burger?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(I fill my cup with soda and return to the cashier to pick up my burger)

Employee #1: *handing me a bag* “Here’s some ketchup.”

(I look inside the bag and there are two burgers in there!)

Me: “Ma’am, there are two burgers in here.”

Employee #2: “Our treat. Things will get better, I promise.”

Cook: “Those people are not your friends. I’ll be your new friend. I’ll be new… What do people call it today? I’ll be ‘bae.’ If you ever want to talk to someone, come in and ask for [Cook].”

Me: *laughing, for the first time in a week* “Thank you guys so, so, so much.”

Employee #1: “Do you live far away? Should I walk with you?”

Me: “No, no, it’s okay. I just live a few blocks away.”

Employee #1: “Come back any time. We’re here.”

Employee #2: *picking up a broom, swinging it around in the air* “That’s what happens if people hurt you again. I’ll break them to pieces.”

(I’m laughing hard by now. The employees look really pleased.)

Me: “Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Cook: “keep me updated!”

Employee #2: “Yeah, we want the juice!”

(My brother is three years younger than me and started at my secondary school this year, aged eleven. He almost immediately starts getting bullied by a kid in his class, who happens to be the brother of a girl in my year. The bully is easily the smallest child in my brother’s class and is constantly angry, fighting constantly, and seems to be bullying several kids, not just my brother. I witnessed him come up behind his sister and demand money from her; then, he kicked her in the knees so she fell to the ground before kicking her again. He also made lots of nasty comments that made his sister cry. The school does nothing because the bully always starts fights when teachers aren’t looking and then claims self-defense, getting away with it because he’s smaller than them. I offer to help my brother constantly by letting him hang out with my friends or by going to stand near his class in breaks — I’m a school prefect/monitor so could intervene — but my brother has autism and is already struggling socially so he doesn’t want to be with my friends or for me to be near his. Until one day…)

Brother: *crying and running over* “Help! Help! Please help!”

Me: “Is it [Bully]?”

Brother: “Yeah, he got me and now another boy, too.”

Me: “Okay, stay here.” *to my friends* “Look after him, please!”

(I run down to the area where the younger kids have break and see [Bully] immediately. He’s sat on another kid’s neck with his knees on either side of his throat and is just landing punches on his face. As I run closer, I can see the boy underneath is going purple and is pulling at [Bully]’s knees, obviously unable to breathe.)

Me: *still running over* “Hey! Get off him!”

([Bully] doesn’t respond and as I get close, the boy underneath goes limp, still being punched. I grab the scruff of [Bully]’s collar, intending to pull him off the other child and to his feet. I’m only 5’3” and female but I still tower over this tiny child and my panicked grab of his collar results in more than the intended force. Instead of pulling him to his feet, I throw him back where he crashes into a pillar and crumples. I freeze, horrified that now I may have hurt someone; I’m a nerdy girl who’s never been in trouble before. A teacher who knows me and the other prefects well comes running over.)

Teacher: *running over* “[My Name], just go! Run! I’ve got it.”

(I ran for it, leaving the teacher to deal with both boys. The boy who was attacked had to go to the hospital for treatment for a broken nose, broken tooth, and difficulty breathing and swallowing. The teacher knew about the bully and the school’s rule of needing a member of staff to witness and bent the truth a bit. She told them that she’d witnessed the attack on both my brother and the other boy but denied that I’d been there, saying that no one had hurt [Bully] and he’d been making it up to claim self-defense. He ended up getting a long period of isolated education, working one on one in a classroom and taking breaks by himself. It’s not totally moral for the teacher to have lied, but given [Bully]’s year of attacking people every day, it felt justified!)

(I am the small, quiet kid in school. One day, a known bully walks up to me out of the blue and throws a punch. I go down instantly, and the bully then proceeds to kick me and swagger off. I hear the monitor blow their whistle and chaos erupts. I end up in the office with a bloody nose, a lot of pain, and… a three-day suspension from school.)

Me: “But he threw the punch and kicked me while I was down!”

School Official: “[My Name], you were in a fight. It doesn’t matter who threw the first punch–“

Mom: “Excuse me… The bully did this in front of multiple witnesses, all of whom said [Bully] attacked my daughter, kicked her, and walked off. My daughter was completely the victim.”

School Official: “[Mom], we have a zero-tolerance policy for fighting in this school. That means that if you’re in a fight, you get punished.”

Mom: “So, what you’re saying is that [Bully] can beat up whoever he wants, knowing that his victims will be punished just as severely as he is. You realize that you are reinforcing his bullying, by then bullying innocent children on his behalf.”

School Official: “Ma’am, it is not bullying to enforce a policy against fighting.”

Mom: “If the policy punishes the innocent, then it absolutely is bullying.”

School Official: “I’m not going to argue with you any further. Your daughter was in a fight. She’s suspended.”

(My dad taught me how to defend myself, and my mom told me that regardless of what the school said, I was not in trouble with my parents. I ended up staying in a large group of friends, which helped protect me from the bully, but every year I attended that school, bullies would pick fights, and the victims would be punished, too. The zero-tolerance policy did not stop fights; it just taught kids that if they were going to be punished anyway, they might as well earn it. Fights got a LOT messier before I graduated.)

(Being something of a geek and introvert, I end up being bullied in middle school. It is mostly trash talk and little pranks, nothing criminal, but enough of it can build up to a lot of stress. I am miserable for most of my time there. But all things come to an end and high school is a breath of fresh air. I am still a geek and introvert, but with a wider range of classes and clubs I almost never see my bullies anymore and they are too busy to seek me out. Fast forward to the last few months of high school.)

Old Bully: “Hey, [My Name], hold up!”

Me: *cautious* “What’s up?”

Old Bully: “Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being such a s*** to you back at [Middle School]. You didn’t deserve it. So, I’m sorry.”

Me: *stunned* “Thanks.”

(Looking back at that moment, everything that happened in middle school seemed so much smaller. I don’t know if the bully had been going through some sort of counselling or if he was just feeling remorseful on his own, but I really did appreciate that.)

(There is a girl at our high school that is a completely stereotypical bully. From verbally attacking people, to destroying their stuff, to locking them in closets and lockers, she is absolutely horrible, but she keeps getting away with it until we change principals. The old principal is a friend of her parents, and constantly downplays or dismisses complaints, but the new one comes down on her like a sack of bricks, even when her parents come in to claim that everyone is lying and their daughter wouldn’t do stuff like that. She ends up dropping out, and most of us put her out of mind and move on. Years later, a Facebook group is organized for setting up high school reunions, and she ends up popping up again.)

Bully: “High school was soooo hard! People kept harassing me about my sexuality. I’m taking therapy now to deal with the trauma from all the bullying.”

Classmate: “So, what you’re saying is that you were in the closet, so you felt like everyone else should be locked in there, too?”