Putting Out A Contract For You

| Working | April 1, 2016

(I am a contracted builder, and have had several lucrative Imperial contracts over the years. I finally get back to the office after working for a few years on a super-big contract. My secretary calls me over.)

Secretary: “The Empire is withholding the final payment.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Secretary: “Regarding the last contract you just finished. Something to do with patching up a two-meter hole?”

Me: “Oh, that. Yeah, I just spent the last few years helping construct hundreds of kilometers of classified Empire battle-station and I got to the last two meters and thought it wouldn’t make much difference. Seriously, who is going to notice a little two-meter hole?”

Secretary: “Well, they’re withholding payment because of it; what would you like me to do?”

Me: “Meh, don’t worry about it. The last payment isn’t that much and I doubt the hole will affect anything.”

Secretary: “Are you sure? They said they would make an example of you.”

Me: “Tell you what. I’m going on vacation to Alderaan next week and I don’t want to deal with this right now. Tell them that and that I’ll be in touch when I get back.”

Secretary: “All right, it’s your funeral…”

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