As a printing company technician, I’ve had some good bosses over the years, but of course, I’ve dealt with some real “winners”, too.

I had been working in the Composing Room of a small newspaper for only about a week when my new micromanaging snark-fest of a boss slapped the previous day’s edition down at my workstation and pointed to a typo in an ad I’d set.

Boss: “I’ve been in the printing industry for twenty-eight years, and I’ve never seen anything like that!”

He started to go on when I held up a hand.

Me: “Let me get this straight. You’ve been in printing for twenty-eight years and have never seen a typographical error before? Did you actually perform any work in that time? Did you read any copy at all? In my first job, I was on the clock for about forty minutes before I saw my first typo. How does one escape this?”

He’d been caught being an a***hole and he knew it, and he stormed away.

A difficult elderly customer is picking up stools and lamps at our furniture store. Even after being told last week that they would arrive unassembled, he is very upset that he will have to assemble the stools himself. My manager manages to calm him down, and she convinces him to take the unassembled stools and his two lamps home.

The cashier offers to carry the lamps to the front door, my coworker bids him a good day, and my manager holds the door for the customer as he carries the lamps to his car.

A few days later, the customer returns, this time with his very angry wife.

Customer: “You people ripped me off! Where are the lamps I paid for?!”

Coworker: “Sorry?”

Customer’s Wife: “We paid for two lamps from your store and never got them! What are you people trying to pull?”

Coworker: “Sir, I saw you pick up the lamps the other day, and our cashier even carried them to the front for you. Are you sure you didn’t misplace them?”

Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?!”

Customer’s Wife: “How dare you insult my husband?!”

My manager approaches and calms the customers down again, allowing them to pick out new lamps for free. As they are leaving, the customer stops to talk to my coworker again.

Customer: “I know you never gave me those lamps. How is it possible for a person to completely forget ten minutes of his life?”

Coworker: “…”

The next day, the elderly customer came back to our store. My coworker immediately grabbed our manager to deal with him. To everyone’s surprise, he was bringing back the extra lamps. The customer confessed that he and his wife had just moved, and their house was filled with boxes. Apparently, he had taken the box of lamps home and gotten them mixed up with moving boxes. To apologize, he brought us a big container of chocolate, and we haven’t seen him since.

I work at an office. Long story short, my supervisor wrongfully fires me, and the manager overturns it and writes her up for violating policy.

A couple of hours later, I go into the ladies’ room. My supervisor comes in after me.

Supervisor: “You’re fired.”

Me: *Pause* “Seriously?”

Supervisor: “You heard me. You’re fired.”

Me: “You’re seriously going to fire me again after that meeting we just had today?”

Supervisor: “I’m not going to let [Boss] stop me from firing you. You ruined my good standing with the company and I cannot let that go unpunished.”

Just then, a toilet flushes, and the manager comes out of the stall.

Manager: *Washing her hands* “You know I could hear what you were saying, right, [Supervisor]?”

Supervisor: *Goes pale* “I—”

Manager: “Just go to the office. I’d like to have a little talk with you.”

My supervisor was fired that day for retaliation.

To begin placing a customer’s order, we need to ask for their phone number to pull them up in the system.

Me: *Answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “I want a large pizza for pickup.”

Me: “Awesome! Let me just get your phone number, please.”

Customer: *Speaking extremely fast* “Either [phone number #1] or [phone number #2].”

Me: “Okay, which one of those would you like me to try?”

Customer: “Doesn’t matter. Either one should work.”

Me: “Okay, cool. Could you just repeat one of the numbers for me, then, please?”

Customer: “Don’t get an attitude with me!”

Me: *Confused* “I’m sorry, sir, I wasn’t trying to give you an attitude. I just need you to repeat your phone number for me, please.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want to order any food from you, now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I just didn’t quite catch your phone number.”

Customer: “Stop having an attitude! You’re trying to run a business!” *Hangs up*

I have a head cold and my throat hurts. Since it’s summer, my mom and I decide to go out for ice cream. She and I pull up to a popular ice cream chain’s drive-thru, and she leans out the window to order.

Employee: “Hello. Welcome to [Ice Cream Shop]; can I take your order?”

Mom: “Yes, miss. Can I have a small cone in a cup and a small vanilla in a cone—”

I snort, burst out laughing, and have a coughing fit.

Mom: “I’m sorry, miss. Can I have a small soft-serve vanilla in a cup and a small soft-serve vanilla in a cone?”

Employee: “That’s one small, soft-serve vanilla in a cup and one small, soft-serve vanilla in a cup? Will that be all?”

Mom: “Yes, thank you.”

Employee: “That’ll be [price]; you can drive up to the next window.”

Me: *Turns to Mom* “Would you like any ice cream with your cone in a cup?”