Nothing Else Slipped Out

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2018

(I work in a shoe shop. A customer enters and asks to see slippers for her mother. I fetch a few in the required size for the customer to look at.)

Customer: *holding slipper* “So, you just put your foot in it?”

Me: *pause* “Yes.”

(Times like this make me thankful I have a good brain-mouth filter. The other answers that popped into my head were far more flippant.)

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Star Wars Of The Sexes

, , , , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(I work in a video game store in a shopping centre, and am currently working floor, which means I go around and talk to customers about what games they might be interested in. A family of two boys, a little girl, their parents, and their grandmother come in. The two boys argue for a while over which game to buy, and for the most part I help them out and chat to them. After a while, I’m standing next to the checkout while they purchase their new games. The little sister, who can’t be more than five, comes up to me.)

Little Girl: “Are you a customer?”

Me: “No, I work here.”

Little Girl: “You work here? Why?”

Me: “Well, I get the money, and I like to talk about video games!”

Little Girl: *pauses, looking very confused* “Why?”

Me: *at this point, I am trying not to smile* “Because I like games.”

Little Girl: “You like games?”

Me: “Yep!”

Little Girl: “Do you like Star Wars games?”

Me: “I do, yeah!”

Little Girl: *at this point she gets a shocked look*You like Star Wars?”

Me: “Yeah!” *almost laughing at this point*

Little Girl: *pauses again, looking rather disapproving* “Are you a boy?”

(This makes me laugh, as I do have short hair and often wear a binder for the support at work.)

Me: “No, I’m a girl.”

(I also spot my coworker, who has also gone bright red in the face laughing at the conversation.)

Little Girl: “No, that can’t be right! Only boys like Star Wars!”

Me: *still laughing* “No, that’s not true! Boys and girls can like Star Wars!”

(It went back and forth like this while the checkout went. I did try to convince her that “Star Wars” can be for everyone, but she didn’t seem to have any of it! Her grandmother, who was also laughing, explained to me that her two older brothers often go on about “Star Wars” so she gets fed up with it! And the “Are you a boy?” question has become a running gag at work whenever someone mentions “Star Wars” or anything else typically for a gender!)

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His Humor Is Straight As An Arrow

, , , , | Healthy | November 21, 2017

Before I retired, I spent many years working permanent nights in operating theatres, giving skilled assistance to the anaesthetist. We performed emergency surgery in quite a few fields but our main area of expertise was plastic surgery.

One night, a young man was brought into the anaesthetic room conscious, calm, and pain-free. We started to talk about what had happened to him. He was a competitive archer and he presented with a carbon fibre arrow through his left hand! On one side there was about a foot of gleaming black arrow with a perfect flight and on the other side there was a hideous splay of fractured carbon fibre. He explained that the only problem with carbon fibre arrows is that they are susceptible to damage if one strikes another in the target. He simply didn’t notice that this particular arrow had been weakened and when he released it the torque caused it to fracture and it punched through his hand.

I started to formally check him in: looking at his wristband I asked him to state his name and date of birth. Both tallied. “When did you last have anything to eat or drink?” Quite a few hours, so no problem. “Are you allergic to anything, especially any drugs or medicines?” No allergies. “Do you have any jewellery or body piercings?” He gestured towards his left hand: “Oh, just the one…”

I felt myself going bright red and we both giggled. We sent him off to sleep and the surgeon removed the arrow, cleaned up and debrided the wound, and carefully checked to see if he’d damaged any of the structures inside his hand. Fortunately, nothing significant had been affected – he was very lucky.

On nights we multitask, so I had to supervise his recovery from the anaesthetic. Before discharging him to the ward, I made sure that he could remember his snappy reply. “You’ll be dining out on that one, I’m sure!”

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