(I am with my husband at this place of work, a student agency. Being a student agency, people from all over the world happens to stop by. We are both Brazilian but have been living in Brisbane for a few months now. My husband does not look like any nationality in specific, but a mixture of Italian, Spanish, and African descendant. He is at the kitchen making a cup of tea and since it’s winter, he’s wearing a suit and a scarf. There are two women near the kitchen and they start talking about him in Portuguese:)

Woman #1: “Uhm… look at this guy. Is he gay?”

Woman #2: “I don’t know… Maybe?”

Woman #1: *analyzing him* “Uhmmm… he definitely is. He’s wearing a scarf. He has to be gay!”

(My husband, trying really hard not to laugh, speaks very seriously in Portuguese:)

Husband: “No, I am NOT gay!”

(They both looked like they had seen a ghost and started to apologize. He left the kitchen with his tea and not a single laugh, trying to look very angry, but burst into tears immediately after!)

This story is part of our Brazil roundup!

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(I manage a fast food restaurant. I’m currently serving a customer who is from East Asia. She is clearly new to the country, as she is having significant trouble with the transaction, and I’m finding it difficult to communicate. My coworker steps in.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, where are you from?”

Asian Customer: “I am from Korea.”

(Suddenly, the next customer in line speaks up.)

Customer: “Racist! You’re a racist!”

Coworker: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I said you’re a racist! It doesn’t matter where this young lady comes from; she should be welcome in your store. You should feel ashamed!”

(The shouting customer turns to me.)

Customer: “You! Do something about her!”

Me: “I absolutely agree. You see, my coworker here is studying for a master’s degree in Asian studies. She was just asking because she could process this transaction in Korean, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, or Indonesian, and didn’t want to look like an idiot by making an assumption about someone she didn’t know.”

This story is part of our “Where are you from?” roundup!

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Read the “Where are you from?” roundup!

(I’m a stock filler in the dairy department. This particular night, the dairy stock has been very late to arrive to the store. A coworker from a different department approaches me. This time of night a lot of employees tend to go on their breaks, so the store is pretty empty.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], I just saw a truck driver standing out back. I think he came in with the dairy load.”

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks. I’ll take care of it.”

(I walk out to the back dock, and the truck driver is standing by the back entrance. He looks very frustrated and confused.)

Me: “Hi, were you here with the dairy load?”

Truck Driver: “I’ve been waiting here for fifteen minutes! I’ve got other stores to go to, you know!”

Me: “Oh, uh, did you… tell anyone that you were here?”

Truck Driver: “Why the h*** should I have to tell anyone!? Where’s [Dairy Manager]? He’s supposed to be here waiting for me!”

Me: “[Dairy Manager] is on his break right now, but I can give him a call to let him know you’ve arrived.”

Truck Driver: “This is ridiculous! Why would he be on his break?!”

Me: “Well, we were expecting the dairy load to get here quite a bit earlier.”

Truck Driver: “That’s no excuse! He should be here waiting for me! I have places to be. You can’t just waste my time like this!”

Me: “Yeah, but the manager’s not just going to stand around out back for hours waiting for you.”

Truck Driver: “Why not?!”

(In Australia when you pay by card, you can either use a pin number or sign for your purchase if you pay by card. Regardless, you need to have your card on you.)

Me: “Okay, so the total is $17.”

Customer: *comes up $2 short* “Oh, I don’t have enough. I’ll just run to my car to get the $2.”

Me: “Oh, here, I’ll save the transaction and keep your bags back here for you.”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll just pay with my bank card!”

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

Customer: “I have… a PIN.”

Me: “Alrighty, then. Did you have your card?”

Customer: “Yes.” *stares at me*

Me: “Ma’am, you have to put your card in the machine.”

Customer: “I HAVE A PIN! I DON’T SIGN!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have to put your card in the machine for it to take the payment.”

(The customer mutters something about getting the $2 and walks off. I save the order and continue serving other customers. Returning with her money, the woman proceeds to cut the line and slams the correct money on the counter. I process the payment and think she’s about to leave when she starts yelling again.)

Customer: “So, you’re telling me I have to keep my card with me all the time to pay, even though I have a PIN?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The computer can’t process the payment unless the card is in the machine. It doesn’t matter if you have a PIN or sign for it.”

Customer: “BUT I HAVE A PIN!” *storms off*

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Um, I’d like the… is the teriyaki good?”

Me: “Yes, it’s one of our most popular subs.”

Customer: “Okay, a teriyaki chicken sub on… Italian Herbs & Spices?”

Me: “Italian Herb & Cheese? No problem.”

Customer: “Yes, sorry. Uh, not toasted. Can I have that dark orange cheese?”

Me: “The old English? Sure. Which salad would you like?”

Customer: “Um… lettuce, tomato… cucumber, carrot… ooh, and just a little bit of onion.”

Me: “Of course. Would you like the Sweet Onion sauce?”

Customer: “Is that good with that?”

Me: “It’s the recommended sauce, yes.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Yes, please. Boy, I bet I’m just the worst customer!”

Me: “Not. Even. Close.”