Married To Herself

, , , , | Related | May 12, 2018

(One of my best friends is marrying a man who has little contact with his mother. I’ve heard stories about how much of a narcissist she is, but the first time I meet her is at the wedding shower. Part way through, she stands up and says she has an announcement, pulling out a small box.)

Mother-In-Law: “These are the pearl earrings that my great-great-grandmother wore on her wedding day. She made sure all of her daughters and her sons’ wives wore them when she was married. Her daughters made sure their daughters and daughters-in-law wore these, and they were passed on to me after my mother’s death. Twelve brides have all worn these on their wedding day over the past century, and I’ve decided: On my son’s wedding day, I will wear these earrings.”

(She was upset when we all laughed afterwards, and joked about how selfish it was. I hope the best for my friend; she seems like she’s in for a crazy ride!)

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The Bridal Shower Of Tears

, , , , , , , | Related | October 26, 2017

While planning my wedding, I have neglected to plan, or get a family member to plan a bridal shower. I don’t particularly mind, but my aunt very graciously offers to throw a bridal shower for me. I give her a guest list based off of my previous baby shower for my son, and she starts planning away.

One day after handing out the invitations, my future mother-in-law calls saying that I forgot to invite two of my fiancé’s cousins. I don’t know them well, but I feel bad for neglecting them, so, after asking my aunt, I tell my mother-in-law to invite them, but to make sure to let them know that this isn’t a children-friendly event.

A week before the shower, my aunt calls me, confused, as several people not on the guest list have RSVP’d, and specified that they are bringing their kids. I call my mother-in-law to make sure there wasn’t a miscommunication. She not only invited four of my fiancé’s cousins, most of whom I don’t know, or my fiancé doesn’t talk to anymore, but she also told them to invite their kids, too. This adds up to about eight more people than previously expected, and my aunt’s house can’t accommodate this.

After hanging up with my mother-in-law, I call my mom, because I am not sure what to do or how to approach this situation. My mother, understandably, is mad that my mother-in-law was rude enough to invite people without at least asking me or making sure I knew the people. She decides to call my mother-in-law to figure out a solution: either have two showers to accommodate the people, or rent space so that there is room for these people and split the cost.

My mother calls, and she barely gets into the conversation before my mother-in-law loses it on her. She calls my mom all sorts of names and ends with, “Shove this party right up your a**.” My fiancé and I, after hearing this, decide not to engage with my mother-in-law’s behavior and let her calm down.

The next day, my mother-in-law texts me, telling me that her side is throwing a “Welcome to the Family” party for me, despite the fact that I gave her a grandson two years ago and have been a part of the family since then. I bluntly tell her that I will not attend any event until she apologizes to my mom for her outburst. After much foot-stomping and whining and, “You don’t care about my feelings,” she finally relents and gives my mother a half-baked apology.

When it comes time to attend her party, every person there ignores me. It is, in theory, a party for me, but not one person really talks to me the entire time. It is bad enough that even my maid of honour, who came with me, notices.

I did marry into the family, in the end. But honestly, if I didn’t know my now-husband so well, I would have taken off running as far away from that family as possible!

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Scone Downhill

| Friendly | May 4, 2015

(I’m sitting with a group of friends from college at a bridal shower tea party. It’s been awhile since we’ve all gotten together.)

Friend: “I think some of your scone just went down your shirt.”

Me: *glances down* “I’ll eat it later.”

Friend: “I’ve missed us.”

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