Before Complaining, Try Walking A Mile In Their Shoes

, , , , , | Right | August 23, 2018

(I am meeting a friend I haven’t seen in a long time for a brewery tour. I read the website to look up operating hours, product information, and anything else I might need or want to know. There are three men and three women besides us gathered for the tour. The following exchange occurs right before the tour takes off.)

Woman #1: “Babe, let’s go on the tour! It’s free!”

Employee: “Ooh, sorry, guys, but no open-toed shoes on the tour.”

Woman #2: “They’re only flip flops! I wear them all the time. Trust me, I’m not going to trip and fall.”

Employee: “We don’t allow sandals, flip flops, or any open-toed shoes on the tour because of the machinery, and it may be slippery.”

Woman #2: “How come she—” *pointing at me* “—can go, and we can’t?”

Employee: “Because she—” *pointing at me* “—is wearing sneakers.”

Woman #1: “If you didn’t want us wearing flip flops on the tour, you really should post it on your website so we’d know. It’s not fair.”

Employee: “It is on the website. We put in on there to prevent incidents like this from happening. Sorry, but the tour is leaving now.”

(The tour begins, and we walk through the door.)

Me: “I read it on the website, which is why I changed my shoes before I got here. I wanted to be prepared, so I read all about the tour times and such.”

Employee: “I know it’s on the website, but nobody bothers to check before they come. Oh, well.”

(My friend and I ended up having a private tour, since nobody else was allowed to come.)

I’m Thirsty-Nine Going On Foursty

, , , , | Working | March 6, 2018

(I am attending a very busy event at a brewery. I’m in line at the bar, behind about 25 people approximately the age of my kids. The script is exactly the same for each.)

Bartender: “ID, please.”

Customer: *hands ID over*

Bartender: “What can I get you?”

(The customer orders, gets drinks, pays, and leaves. Finally, it’s my turn.)

Me: “Hi. Can I have—”

Bartender: “I need to see your I…” *she finally looks AT me* “OH! Sorry, I don’t need… I mean, you’re old enough… I’m sorry. You’re not old-old… you’re just…”

Me: “Thirsty. I’m thirsty. Two porters, please.”

Bartender: “Sure, sorry. Just a second.”

(Another bartender brought my drinks when they were ready. I’m really not sure why she was so upset that she said I looked over 21. I mean, the full head of grey hair usually implies age.)

A Little Sip Of Love

, | San Diego, CA, USA | Romantic | September 28, 2016

(I work in a brewery and I usually have different work hours than my girlfriend but she works ten minutes away from my work.)

Me: *texting* “Hey. I ran out of snacks. You mind bringing me some food over?”

Girlfriend: *texting* “Yeah. Sure.”

(Ten to fifteen minutes later.)

Girlfriend: *texting* “Hey. I’m in the tasting room!”

(I run to the tasting room to find her drinking a beer.)

Me: “Hey! Wait, where’s my food?”

Girlfriend: *pulls out a pop-tart* “There you go!”

Me: *realizes* “You just drove here for a beer, huh?”

Girlfriend: “Nooooo…” *takes sip* “It was because I love you!”

The Most Dangerous Creature In The Room

| CO, USA | Friendly | August 11, 2016

(I own a 210 lbs, very lazy mastiff. I’ve taken him with me to a dog friendly brewery to meet with a friend of mine. Once we get there my dog promptly falls asleep. We are just talking when we are approached by a woman with a small dog.)

Woman: “You can’t have that beast here!”

Me: “Why not? You have your dog and mine has just as much right to be here as yours.”

Woman: “My dog actually behaves! That behemoth will wreck everything!”

(While she is saying this my dog is sound asleep not making a peep and hers is continually barking. Since I won’t back down she goes and gets the manager.)

Manager: “Sir, I’ve got reports that your dog is being aggressive and growling at other patrons.”

Me: “That’s not true at all. He’s been asleep the whole time we’ve been here.”

Woman: “No, he hasn’t! I heard him growling!”

(An admittedly loud noise comes from where my dog is laying.)

Woman: “See! He just did it again. Get him out of here before he attacks my dog and everyone else here.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s called snoring. He’s sound asleep.”

The Cold Reality Of Drinking Alone

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Right | March 1, 2016

(I have had a long day at work and am stopping by a sake brewery on my way home to pick up some for the weekend.)

Me:” I’d like one… no, make that two large bottles of plum sake.”

Salesman: *while bagging my order* “How are you going to drink that?”

Me: *assuming he is asking how I can manage to drink three liters of sake on my own* “Hey! I have friends!”

Salesman: “I prefer to drink it warm, but some people like to drink it cold.”

(Turns out he was asking at what temperature I was going to serve it!)