Doesn’t Have That Friday Feeling

, , , , , , | Romantic | September 7, 2017

(It’s Friday, a workday in the USA. I make my wife and myself breakfast every day, typically eggs and toast.)

Me: “I have to go, I’m late.”

Wife: “Late for what?”

Me: “I still go to the 10:00 meeting. I’m late for work.”

Wife: “What?”

Me: “I work today. It’s Friday. I work on Fridays. It’s America.”

Wife: “It’s Friday?”

Me: “Yes; do you feel like it’s Saturday?”

Wife: “You served me breakfast in bed.”

Me: “But if it’s Saturday, how come you didn’t get your egg poached with salmon and capers and cheese?”

Wife: “I’m going to check.”

Me: “How come we didn’t watch Saturday morning breakfast cartoons?”

Wife: “It’s really Friday!”

Me: “You must have thought your Saturday morning really sucked.”

Don’t Lose Sleep Over It

| QLD, Australia | Related | November 25, 2013

(In Australia, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving or anything like it. Even so, most people know about the holiday through TV and movies. I am 21 years old and unmarried, with absolutely no boyfriend of any kind.)

Me: “Man, I had the weirdest dream last night!”

Brother: “Yeah?”

Me: “I was dreaming that I’d married some American guy and moved there, but forgot all about Thanksgiving, so my mother-in-law was tearing into me. Then, my ten-year-old kid came home from school crying because everyone else did awesome stuff on Thanksgiving and he had to do homework. Weird, right?”

Brother: *perfectly serious* “That wasn’t a dream. This conversation is. You still have to wake up and explain yourself to everyone. Shame on you; that’s like forgetting Christmas.”