A Very Awkward Engagement

, , , , , , , | Related | August 23, 2018

(When my boyfriend asks me to marry him, his parents announce that they are going to throw us an engagement party.)

Me: “Thank you! Where would you like to have it? We could have it at our house…”

Future Mother-In-Law: “Oh, no. We’ll have it at our house.”

(Her house is in a town that’s a two-and-a-half-hour drive from where my fiancé and I live.)

Me: “Oh… That’ll be kind of a long drive for all our friends, though.”

Future Mother-In-Law: “That doesn’t matter; I’m not inviting them.”

Me: “Ah, who were you planning to invite?”

Future Mother-In-Law: “Family members, plus some of [Future Father-In-Law]’s colleagues.”

Me: “Um… Okay.”

(Cut to a few weeks later. My fiancé and I are driving to the party.)

Me: “It’s nice of your parents to do this, but I’m confused about why they’re inviting your dad’s colleagues. We’ve never met them.”

Fiancé: “I don’t get it, either.”

(We arrive at the party. There’s a big sign that says, “CONGRATULATIONS, [My Name], [Fiancé], [Additional Name #1], and [Additional Name #2]”.)

Fiancé: “Mum, whose names are on the sign?”

Future Mother-In-Law: “That’s are your dad’s assistant and his fiancée. They got engaged at the same time as you, and we wanted to throw them a party, so we figured we might as well kill two birds with one stone and have one for you at the same time!”

Fiancé: “…”

(That was one awkward event. We were pretty upset at sharing a special time in our lives with another couple, especially since we’d never met them before.)

Honorific Horrific

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2018

(I finish ringing up groceries for an older woman.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

(No response.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

(No response. I wait a few seconds to see if she will catch on to the lack of activity going on.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “You know, it’s rude to call someone ‘ma’am’!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I know that that’s what they tell you to do, but it’s just rude. You should never call someone ‘ma’am.’”

(I don’t say anything as I finish packing up her groceries. It’s the only time I don’t say, “Have a nice day,” as I am still in shock. She continues to lecture me on how rude calling someone “ma’am” is and how the stores shouldn’t be teaching that to their employees. As soon as she leaves, the next customer puts her groceries on the belt.)

Customer #2: “Would ‘old bag’ be better?”