Much Too Chicken To Demand Too Much Chicken

, , , , , , | Right | November 3, 2018

(I work in the hot foods section of a deli in a busy mall. I make the pizzas. I get an order from a customer who is notorious for returning and complaining about pizzas, in order to get free food. Towards the end of this night, our pizza oven isn’t working properly and it is cooking pizzas a little bit slower. After giving the customer his pizza and checking with him that it is all right, he returns no more than five minutes later.)

Me: “Did you need something, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, uh.. I don’t think the chicken on my pizza is cooked. I think it’s raw.”

Me: “That’s impossible; our chicken is actually precooked before we put it on the pizza. In fact, all of our meats are precooked.”

Customer: “No, no… It’s definitely raw.”

(I open the pizza box to have a look and the pizza is perfectly cooked.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but your pizza looks perfectly fine to me. I’d be happy to remake one for you, but unfortunately our oven isn’t working properly tonight and it may take 30 to 40 minutes for your pizza to cook. Would you mind waiting?”

Customer: “No, that’s too long. My kids are hungry. [Grocery Store] is supposed to be one of the best in Canada! This is ridiculous; I just want my pizza!”

Me: “Well, sir, your pizza is perfectly safe to eat. The chicken is cooked, if that’s all your concern is about. You can either take this pizza, wait half an hour for another one, or you can go to customer service and get refunded. Which would you prefer?”

Customer: “I just want a pizza.”

Me: *internally screaming* “Yes. Are you taking this one, or would you like to wait? Or would you prefer to speak with a manager?” *hoping the manager will get him to make a decision*

Customer: “I just want a pizza!” *stares at me for a moment* “Actually, get your manager.”

(I page for the store manager to come to my department. The manager comes up to me first to see what’s up, and I tell him what happened.)

Manager: *to the customer* “So, what’s the problem here?”

Customer: “My chicken isn’t cooked. I want a new pizza and she says it will take half an hour! I can’t wait that long!”

Manager: “Well, I can tell you right now that your chicken is, in fact, cooked. It comes to us already cooked. It comes from a bag, and they top your pizza with it.”

Customer: “Well, it’s raw!”

(I’m holding his pizza box and open it to show the manager.)

Manager: “There’s nothing wrong with your pizza; it looks perfect! In fact, there’s almost too much chicken.” *winks at me*

Customer: “Well, I don’t like the chicken. My kids wanted [Grocery Store]’s pizza.” *gestures towards the food court behind us* “They could have picked anything out there. What are you going to do to fix this?”

Manager: “Look, you can take this perfectly fine pizza, you can wait 30 minutes for another one, or we can refund you and you guys can eat elsewhere. Those are the only options; which would you like?”

Customer: “Well, the pizza is cold now!”

Manager: “[My Name], you can stick this pizza back in the oven for him, can’t you?”

Me: “Yeah, no problem! Five minutes and it will be nice and warm! Is that okay, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah… I guess. I’ll be back in five minutes.” *walks away*

Manager: “It’s one of those nights. He just wants free food. Your pizza looks amazing; I’ll actually take a slice of pepperoni!”

Me: “Yeah, we all know him over here. He’s notorious for returning and complaining.”

Manager: “Well, I know him now. He won’t be getting away with it anymore!”

(He ended up taking the pizza. I can’t wait until he comes back to complain!)

Pepper-no-meat

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(I work in a popular grocery store in Canada that also sells hot foods, and I’m working the pizza counter.)

Me: “Hello, were you wanting to grab a slice?”

Customer: “Yes, that vegetarian slice.”

(I grab the vegetarian slice and go to put it in the oven to heat it up.)

Customer: “NO! NO! I wanted that vegetarian slice!”

(He points to the slice of pepperoni.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I thought you wanted a veggie slice. I’ll just switch.”

(He starts to interrupt me.)

Customer: “That is a vegetarian slice.”

(I am almost unsure how to reply, thinking he is joking.)

Me: “Haha, no, it’s pepperoni, sir. That is a type of meat!”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. 100% sure.”

Customer: “Give me the f****** other slice, then. I’ve always had that other type of pizza, and I have been a vegetarian for five years!”

(A customer standing behind him starts to laugh and says:)

Customer #2: “Obviously, you weren’t a vegetarian, dumba**.”

(I had a good laugh with my coworkers afterwards. Funny thing is, this happens more frequently than you would think! Learn the difference between meat and vegetables if you’re a vegetarian!)