She’s Really Not Kidding

, , , , , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I’m checking a guest in around two am. He keeps asking personal but not really inappropriate questions. I don’t like talking to strangers about anything personal so I keep giving short, polite — as I can — answers and try to get back to checking him in.)

Me: “So, I need you to read and initial the smoking and pet poli—“

Guest: “So, are you married?”

Me: “No, sir. If you would just initial here and—“

Guest: “Why not? You want kids, don’t you?”

Me: *forced smile* “And your vehicle information goes here.”

Guest: “You really should think about having kids soon.”

Me: *tired of this* “Oh, I have kids, but if I can’t find a buyer we’ll use the meat ourselves.”

(The guest just stares in horror.)

Me: “My goat had twin boys this year and we can’t keep them so we’re looking for buyers. Now all we need is a signature.”

(The guest signed and I got him his keys. I told my manager in the morning and he laughed. The guest actually apologized at breakfast; I nearly passed out in shock! The goat boys found a weed-eating flock for a home once we wethered them and their mom is an amazing dairy gal so I can’t wait for her to have a girl. Then I will keep a kid!)

Bad Parenting For Hundreds Of Miles

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2018

(We are sold out, as is every hotel for at least a hundred miles. This is normal for a summer Saturday. A woman comes in at two am looking for a room. I call everywhere I can think of heading east — she’s going that direction — and then finally get a hotel in Billings that had a late cancelation. We book the room for her. She asks to use the bathroom and brings her daughter in. Then, she turns to me and glares.)

Mother: “Now, tell my sweet angel why you won’t give us a room, and why she can’t go to bed yet.”

Me: *looking at her in shock* “No. I found you a room and that is all I can do.”

(She left still complaining about my “unreasonableness.”)

We Eat Complainers Like You For Breakfast

, , , , , , | Right | September 5, 2018

(A guest is mad because our rates went up during the busy season but any other hotel would have meant at least an hour drive so he takes my last room.)

Me: “So if you drive toward the McDonald’s you’ll see a turn in to our back lot. Just go in door four and you are right there!”

Guest: “I still think your rates are too high!” *I just smile because he is already getting discounts* “But is your breakfast at least free?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we have a great breakfast from 6 to 10 am right down here.”

Guest: “Well, then, I will come down and eat ALL your food. How about that?”

Me: “We do hope you enjoy the breakfast.”

(He made it to his car and headed toward the back lot before I started laughing, but it was close.)

Chairs Up, Standards Down

, , , , , | Working | September 3, 2018

(I work in a hotel. We’ve just renovated some rooms, and management has asked us to sleep in them for a night so we can talk about the improvements first hand. My coworker has decided to use his night to get VERY drunk. When he gets back to the hotel, I’m working on getting the floor swept and washed before breakfast. He works the overnight shift, same as I do.)

Coworker: “Why are the chairs up?”

Me: “So I can sweep and mop.”

(He’s been working this shift for a few months at this point, and this is part of every overnight shift.)

Coworker: “Why? It always looks clean to me.”

(He then stumbled off to his room and I made a note to talk to my manager to have some retraining done. It didn’t stick, and he didn’t last.)

Unfiltered Story #117767

, , | Unfiltered | July 28, 2018

Our breakfast starts at six am and it is six ten. We have a conveyor type toaster. Since we are full, I’m working front desk while another woman handles the breakfast room. She is normally very soft spoken, so when I hear her almost yelling I come running.

Coworker – [My name] FIRE!

I grab the extinguisher and run in. Out of the toaster pops a paper bowl on fire. Instead of using the extinguisher and shutting down the area I dump it into a bowl of water. A guest is standing to one side giggling.

Me (barely staying polite) – Why would you put a paper bowl through the toaster?! The sign says bread and English muffins only!

Guest – I don’t know (giggles).

Me – That is a $400 toaster! If you break it that way, you would have to replace it and we have cameras.

The guest stopped giggling and ran out of the room.

Coworker – Sorry, I didn’t see him put it in.

Me – It is not your fault. It’s going to be a long four hours huh?

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