I’m notorious for forgetting where I’ve left my car in a car park. I literally leave the car park and the location of my car is just deleted from my head. In car parks I visit frequently, I always park in the same general area so I have at least some chance of finding my car. In strange car parks, I try to note down something to give me a clue as to where my car is.

I’m picking my boyfriend up from the airport, and I know that I won’t find my car as the car park is huge, over several stories, so I take precautions.

Boyfriend: “So, where’s your car?”

Me: “In area 3C.”

Boyfriend: “And do you know where you parked it?”

Me: “Yep, I made sure I’d find it this time!”

We find area 3C.

Me: “There’s my car!”

Boyfriend: “Where? Oh… Oh, no… REALLY?!”

My car was really easy to spot. It had three huge, pink helium balloons and a pile of sparkly tinsel tied to the antenna.

While on my way to the airport to pick up my boyfriend, I get stuck in heavy traffic after a semi rolls on the road, blocking all but one lane. I send him a text, even though I know he won’t get it until he lands, explaining that I am in traffic and will get there as soon as possible. His plane lands on time and he calls.

Boyfriend: “Hey, where are you?”

Me: “Um, I’m on [interstate] still.”

Boyfriend: “What do you mean, still? You should have been here half an hour ago!”

Me: “There’s an accident and—”

Boyfriend: “You were in an accident?!”

Me: “No! This rig flipped. I’m stuck waiting.”

Boyfriend: “But my flight just landed. How much longer?”

Me: “I don’t know. Until it’s clear?”

Boyfriend: *Huff* “What the f***?”

Me: “Sorry…?”

I really don’t know what else to say.

Boyfriend: “You were supposed to be here!”

Me: “Yes. I know. But there’s an accident and I can’t go anywhere.”

Boyfriend: “This is bull****.”

Me: “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Boyfriend: “Hurry up!”

By this point, I’ve been sitting in the same spot for over an hour. I’m frustrated and a little hungry, and now he’s annoying me, too.

Me: “How?”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “How am I supposed to hurry? Do you want me to go up and move the rig myself?”

Boyfriend: “No, I—”

Me: “Should I start directing traffic?”

Boyfriend: “No, you’re not—”

Me: “Then tell me how I’m supposed to hurry up.”

Boyfriend: “I don’t know. You’re supposed to be here!”

Me: “I will be there as soon as I can. Go get some food or something.”

Boyfriend: “Okay… bye.”

I sat there for another hour before traffic started moving. When I got to the airport, my boyfriend immediately went off on me, saying I was irresponsible for not leaving on time and that I should plan better. I showed him photos of the wreckage that I took when I passed it. He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t apologize, either.

Anyone up for another Potong Jalan story?

After a day of soldiering, my section likes to sit down in bunk and play trading cards. One of my sectionmates likes using a card that is basically a seductive character that can steal another character from an opponent’s field. He calls it the “Potong Jalan Horse.”

After [Sectionmate #1] wins another game with the Potong Jalan Horse:

Me: “Dude, I don’t know why you’re so fond of using that card. Potong Jalan isn’t a joking matter.”

Sectionmate #2: “Yeah, it goes double for you. You’re one of the few that still has a girlfriend.”

Sectionmate #1: “Yeah, yeah. You’re just being sore losers.”

Me: “You’ll jinx yourself.”

Sectionmate #1: “Pffft. Like that’ll ever happen.”

Me: “Suit yourself. But I won’t lend you a shoulder to cry on later.”

Everyone Else: “Neither will we.”

Sectionmate #1: “Whatever. Anyone up for another round?”

One week later, none of us lent him a shoulder to cry on. He never touched the Potong Jalan Horse again.

A month after he stopped using that card, he triumphantly declared that he had successfully “Potong Jalan-ed back” his girlfriend. Naturally, he then started using the Potong Jalan Horse again. A month later, they broke up again. He stopped using the card. He won her back a month after that. He started using that card again…

In the end, they broke up and got back together over a dozen times before we left National Service. From what I’m told, he never played the card game — and by extension, the Potong Jalan Horse — after he left, which is possibly why, after the latest time he won her back, she never ditched him again.

Related:
Time To Bite The Bullet, Part 2
Time To Bite The Bullet

I’m half-watching my boyfriend play a game, half-dozing on the couch next to him. It’s around Halloween, and he’s playing a remake of a horror game from the 1990s. While I don’t mind watching others play horror games, when I have the controller, I’m a big baby, so I don’t play them often unless I think the story is worth the scares. He is much better at handling scares and usually doesn’t react.

He is dodging what I think is a super zombie in a trench coat and he thinks he’s lost him. I’m watching the screen but really not paying attention to anything.

Suddenly, my boyfriend lets out what I can only describe as a banshee screech, legs jerking upward just as the trench coat man finds him.

Me: *Becoming suddenly alert* “What?! What happened?!”

Boyfriend: *Very alarmed* “Something just touched my foot!”

I look down to see one of our two bunnies hop out from under the couch and stomp his foot in displeasure at the reaction of his hello. We’ve been trying to teach our bunny to “nose bump”; you offer your fist for a fist-bump and he bumps his nose in response. He took this to mean that bumping his nose against you is just how we say hi. It could be your hand, your face, your foot, or whatever he can reach at the time he’s hopping by. He apparently has perfect timing. We now double-check where the rabbits are before playing scary games.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for several months. She’s been in some bad relationships before and is worried because I’m “too nice.” She keeps wondering if I have some sort of deep, dark secret, like being a serial killer or something.

One day, I do a couple of minor repairs at her house, and that evening, she makes dinner for us.

Girlfriend: “Thank you so much for your help today.” *Sigh* “I really don’t want to find out you’re a serial killer.”

Me: “Tell you what, sweetie. I promise I’ll kill you first so you won’t find out anything.”

She hugs me.

Girlfriend: “Oh, thank you!”

She gets me.