Bowl Me Over With Lies

| IL, USA | Right | July 30, 2015

(This is an upscale bowling alley that allows you to make lane reservations. This is probably only my second or third day working there.)

Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling [Bowling Alley]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Can I make a reservation?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I’m afraid we only allow online reservations.”

Customer: “That’s stupid.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s just our policy.”

Customer: “Can’t you just make an exception since I already called you?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We aren’t allowed to manually enter reservations into our computers. But you can go to our website and set one up there. Would you like me to help you with that?”

Customer: *says this in a completely serious tone* “Well, it just so happens that ALL of my fingers are broken! So now what?”

Me: *completely without thinking* “How are you going to bowl?!”

Customer: “Never mind.” *click*

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Don’t Enable The Disablers

| USA | Working | August 21, 2013

(Every other Saturday, we have a huge group of adults come into the local bowling alley. All of them have Down’s Syndrome. Most of them come up to order with a helper, but there are a few who want to do this by themselves. Today we have a new employee and she is taking orders out front while I cook.)

Coworker: “OH MY GOD! [My Name] can you come out here?”

(I walk out from the to see what’s going on. There is one man at the counter.)

Coworker: “I can’t understand a thing this f****** retard is saying. This is stupid.”

Me: “[Coworker]!”

(The man at the counter starts crying and runs out of the lobby.)

Me: “What the h***? Don’t call the customers that!”

Coworker: “Why not? He’s retarded; he doesn’t even know what it means.”

Me: *sarcastically* “You’re right; that’s why he ran out of here in tears.”

(I leave the snack area and find the man, still in tears talking to his friends.)

Me: “Hey, I want to apologize for what my coworker said back there.”

Man: “She called me a bad name.”

Me: “She did, and that was wrong of her. Why don’t you tell me what you want, and I’ll go and make it for you.”

(He tries to tell me what he wants, but it’s hard to make out. I work with him, asking him a couple questions until I finally figure it out.)

Man: “I have money.”

Me: “Don’t worry about the money; today it’s free.”

(I walk back into the kitchen and make his food. My coworker is scoffing the whole time. When he comes to pick up his food, she tries to charge him but I stop her.)

Coworker: “You’re not supposed to give out free food.”

Me: “You’re not supposed to insult the customers. I’ll just take his payment out of your share of tips.”

Coworker: “Like h*** you will.”

Me: “Did you know that [Owner]’s youngest daughter was born with Down’s?”

(My coworker avoids me for the rest of the day, and at the end of her shift she doesn’t complain about me taking her tips to pay for his food. I talk with the manager and my coworker is taken off Saturdays from then on.)

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Bad Puns Can Bowl You Over

| Reno, NV, USA | Related | July 5, 2013

(My brother, my friend, and I are bowling. The alley has amusing animations when the players get gutter balls, strikes, and splits. After my last gutter ball of the night, the animation shows the bowling ball strolling into an old Western bar. The doors slam shut on him, knocking him to the ground. The pins gather around as if they are saying ‘Yeah, don’t come back here again’.)

Brother: “Yeah, he went into the wrong neighborhood.”

Me: “Yeah, he was getting a little ballsy there.”

Brother: “Yeah, they really got him pinned!”

Me: *facepalm*

Don’t Pin This On Me

| Louisville, KY, USA | Working | March 13, 2013

(Some friends are in from out of town, so I call a local bowling alley to make a reservation for the following night.)

Me: “Hey, I need to reserve a lane for tomorrow night for five people. Any time after 7pm is good.”

Employee #1: “There’s no need to reserve a lane. We’re wide open tomorrow night.”

Me: “You’re sure? I’ve got people in from out of town. Can I go ahead and make a reservation just in case?”

Employee #1: “There’s really no need. You’ll be able to walk right in and get a lane.”

Me: “Okay, we’ll be in tomorrow then…”

(The next night we meet up with our friends and walk into the bowling alley only to see that it is packed. We walk up to the counter to see about getting a lane.)

Me: “We need a lane for five, please.”

Employee #2: “This is Blind League night. We won’t have any lanes until 11.”

Me: “I was told last night that I didn’t need a reservation tonight; you’d be wide open.”

Employee #2: “Well, we have League night every week on the same night, and we won’t have any lanes open until at least 11. That’s the best I can do for you.”

Me: “Who was working the counter last night, then? I’d like to know who lied to me and why they wouldn’t bother to tell me that the lanes would be full.”

Employee #2: “Well, the only one back here last night was [Employee #1].”

(He gestures down at the end of the counter to an employee who is putting away shoes. When I confront him, he says…)

Employee #1: “Aw, h*** no, you ain’t putting this s*** on me.”

Me: “Oh, so you didn’t work last night?”

Employee #1: “No, I worked last night, but it’s not my fault you didn’t know it was League night. Everyone knows it’s League night.”

Me: “So, since I didn’t know, you outright lied when I asked, instead of just telling me to come in another night? What did you think was going to happen when I showed up?”

Employee #1: *shrugs shoulders and goes into the back*

Employee #2: *looks at us blankly* “You want to reserve a lane for 11?”

(We left, and haven’t been back!)

Customers Come In All Stripes

| UK | Right | March 23, 2012

(It’s been an uneventful day at work…that is, until a young lady comes in asking if she can make a request.)

Customer: “It’s coming up to my father’s birthday, and he never knows what to do.”

Me: “Okay, so what can I help you with?”

Customer: “So, I’m going around various attractions and places we could have a day out. I’m having my photo taken at each one to turn into a big poster so he has an idea of where we can go.”

(I nod while she’s explaining this, as it sounds very reasonable.)

Customer: “So, would you be able to take a photo of me pretending to bowl?”

Me: “Yeah, sure! We’re not too busy, so I can do that for you.”

Customer: “Great. Now, one more thing…”

Me: “Sure, fire away.”

Customer: “Can I do it dressed in a tiger costume?”

Me: *laughing* “Sure, go ahead!”

(She wasn’t pulling my leg: I took the picture of her dressed as a tiger, leaving me smiling for the rest of the night.)

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