Their Comprehension Is XXS

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2019

(A customer enters wearing expensive yoga clothes that emphasize how lean she is. She walks to the clearly-marked plus-size section, so I go to greet her. She ignores my greeting and cuts me off before I can guide her to clothes that will fit her.)

Customer: “What does 4X mean?”

Me: “It’s one of our larger plus sizes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Is that smaller than a large?”

Me: *pause* “No, ma’am. That’s much bigger than a large.”

Has No Reservations At Arriving With No Reservations

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2018

(I am a store manager, and my store hosts “girls’ night out” type events. Basically people contact us and schedule them ahead of time, as an easy get-together. It’s a party-like atmosphere, there’s refreshments and a private lounge, we work one-on-one with each woman attending, and we offer a discount on anything purchased. I get an email from a woman looking to host an event for her women’s group. She asks what dates are open, and I respond back that we schedule at least three weeks in advance — so as to have staffing — and spots are open on Tuesday afternoons, Friday evenings, Saturday afternoons, and Sunday evenings after close. I send her an attachment with the contract, as well, and tell her the contract and payment is needed to hold the room. I say that the earlier she lets me know the dates, the better. She responds back saying she will discuss which dates are best at her next women’s group meeting. She doesn’t get back to me. The next Sunday, I close, and I am home making a late dinner when my phone rings. It’s the manager of the restaurant next door, who has my personal number, saying there is an angry woman in the restaurant demanding to speak to me. She puts her on the phone.)

Woman: “We are supposed to have a party tonight, and there’s no one at the store!”

Me: “I didn’t have a party scheduled for tonight.”

Woman: “Well, you did. Come out and open the doors!”

Me: “I’m not at the store anymore.”

Woman: “I have people here who drove three hours to go to this! What do you mean, you aren’t here?!”

Me: “There must be a misunderstanding, because there was not supposed to be a party tonight.”

Woman: “Well, come back and open up, or I’ll sue!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I don’t have the supplies or the staff to host anything.”

Woman: “Where do you live?! I’m going to pull you out of your g**d*** house and make you open the g**d*** door! This is so embarrassing! I’m going to have my husband kick your a**—”

(At this point, my friend from the restaurant evidently got the phone away from her. The woman demanded my personal address and phone number and was so loud that security removed her from the restaurant. Monday morning, my voice mailbox at work was full of calls from this woman, and I found out she had posted on the national page for her women’s group, demanding a nationwide boycott of our store, and calling for my termination. Her version of events had me scheduling the party, being in the store and refusing to let them in, laughing at them from in the store, and refusing to refund them. All of this was false, and in fact they had never paid nor scheduled the party. I quickly contacted our legal department and public relations, sending them the emails showing that the woman never got back with a contract or verified the date she wanted — and that she would have had to schedule at least a month out, anyway, so the date she showed up was impossible. Meanwhile, I started getting daily angry emails and calls from the woman and her friends. Finally, I sent an email laying out the facts to the women’s group’s headquarters directly, apologizing for the drama. I was honestly worried how the bad press was going to affect my career. To my surprise, the women’s group agreed that I had done nothing wrong, sent out the correct facts, and threatened to kick out any members sending me angry calls. They also apologized to the corporate office for the treatment I received. It didn’t affect my career. I still get people who come in and mention the incident, and I usually smile and set them straight.)

Weighing The Ways

, , , , , | Working | August 21, 2018

(I overhear this exchange between two coworkers as I’m in the back room, processing freight:)

Coworker #1: “I think it goes this way.”

Coworker #2: “I agree.”

Coworker #1: *joking* “Well, then, I think it goes the other way, just to be contrary.”

Coworker #2: “You’re probably right; whatever way you said it was that goes that way, I think it goes the other way.”

Coworker #1: “Right, well, as long as we know which way we’re talking about.”

Coworker #2: “We definitely don’t.”

(It’s moments like these that help break up the monotony of a long day of unpacking boxes. I never did find out exactly what they were talking about.)

Unfiltered Story #118464

, | Unfiltered | August 19, 2018

(I work for a couture jewelry company, and the pieces displayed in our salon are samples we use to design new custom pieces for our clients (mostly brides who want something made to order). A mother and daughter walk in and browse the salon and I greet them and give them a little info on our pieces.)

Me: “Just to let you know, our jewelry is made to order and takes around 8-10 weeks, but we can make that pair of earrings you liked in silver rather than the gold they’re sampled in, if you prefer.”

Bride: “That won’t work; my wedding is in July.”

Me: “We can usually accommodate a shorter turn around time for a bit of a rush fee.”

(They pick out a pair of earrings the bride likes as-is and I start to draw up the order.)

Me: “It’ll be $210 for the earrings and the Rush Fee is $40.”

Bride: “Oh well, we don’t want to pay that.”

Me: *after checking our stock to make sure we can sell off the floor without losing our only sample* “It looks like I can sell you this pair off the floor if you’d rather walk out with a pair and skip the rush fee.”

Bride: “That’s great, let’s do that!”

Me: “Okay, let me pop these on a card for you!”

Mother Of The Bride: “Oh, we can’t have a new pair made instead?”

Me: “…you can if you have 8-10 weeks or $40 for the rush fee.”

Bride: “That pair will be fine.”

Unfiltered Story #92617

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 4, 2017

(I used to work at a small clothing boutique that also sold small gift items. One of our best sellers were key chain pepper spray cannisters that were bedazzled. I got many stupid questions about them such as, “Does this actually work?” “Have you tried it before?” “Well WHY haven’t you tried it?!?”. This conversation by far takes the cake on the stupidest customer I’ve ever dealt with.)

Customer: “These little cannisters are so cute! I wish they had perfume in it though.”
Me: “Oh yeah that would be cool. It’s always smart to carry pepper spray though!”
Customer: “Yeah but I wish it was perfume.. do you have any with perfume instead?”
Me: “Um.. no. Unfortunately not.”
Customer: “Well can I buy an empty cannister from you so I can fill it myself?”
Me: “Oh we don’t make it here. We are sent all of our items already packaged. I don’t have any empty ones.”
Customer: “Ugh fine. I’ll just empty it at home and refill it with perfume. My daughter loves spraying my perfume so I can give her this so she has her own! She just loves sparkles!”
Me: “I strongly advise you NOT to do that. You shouldn’t mess around with pepper spray canisters. You also don’t want to take the chance of not getting it all out resulting in your daughter hurting herself.”
Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You need to learn about your products more! I’m buying this for my daughter right now so she can have matching perfume with me!”