Has A Nose For Fine Jewelry

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2018

(I work at a jewelry store, and we sell all sorts of stones. This couple has been in the store for well over an hour, and I have approached them a few times to see if they need any help. Finally, they do, and the interaction seems to be normal for the most part.)

Customer: “Do you have any jewelry of this specific stone?”

Me: “Certainly! Let me pull a few pieces out of the case. These are fairly inexpensive, so they should fall right into your budget!”

(I go over to the case and take out a series of pendants for the customer to select from. The customer picks one up, rubs it, then sticks it up her nostril to smell it.)

Customer: “It feels good; will this be available in a few weeks?”

Me: “Potentially. It depends on the people who come in.”

Customer: “All right.”

(The customer put the pendant in my hand and walked out. I promptly took the piece off display and sanitized it.)

Please Do Not Microwave The Babies

, , , , | Right | April 7, 2018

(We have stuffed animals filled with “beans” on display at the register. I am ringing up one customer when he picks one up. He starts to massage it almost aggressively, then sniffs it, before putting it back down.)

Customer: “Do you microwave these?”

(I am so taken aback, I assume I have misheard him and that he must have said “manufacture.”)

Me: “Um, no. We just sell them.”

Customer: “I have some bean bags at home; I microwave them and put them on my shoulders to help with pain. Can I do that with these?”

Me: “No, these are kids’ toys. They would probably get burnt.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thank you.”

That Snow Way To Behave

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 29, 2018

When enough snow accumulates on the ground, there’s an unspoken rule for parking: don’t steal a shoveled space. Someone else did the hard work, and even went to the trouble of digging out a lawn chair, cone, or trash barrel to tell the world it’s saved. While some people are kind about giving up their spaces, this is only acceptable if you ask first.

After one particular snow storm when I was 16, my parents, my uncle, and I got out and shoveled. After spending roughly two hours digging out the cars and clearing the sidewalk and walkway, my uncle — who lived with us — and my mother were free to head to work. While my mother’s car was parked on a paved portion of our property, my uncle’s was parked on the street, because we only had two parking spaces and my dad had his own car. So, to protect the spot, I dug out our trash barrels and placed one into the spot as soon as my uncle pulled out.

With school cancelled and my dad retired, he and I went back inside to rest up before we had to go back out and tackle more snow. We only rested about an hour, but the snow was coming down pretty hard that day. When we got outside to check for ice, I saw our barrel perched atop a mountain of snow in our front yard. Already having a sneaking suspicion, I circled around the pile to confirm it: someone tossed our barrel out of the way and swiped the spot.

I know plenty of people who would slash tires, smash windshields, and find other ways to vandalize the car, and a few others who would be waiting around the car with a few friends. I took a more civilized approach. After tossing the barrel into my backyard, I began deconstructing the mountain in my front yard and used it to bury the spot again, car and all. I didn’t stop until the snow was as high as it was when the four of us found it that morning.

If this person wanted this spot so badly, then they could do the work for it.

Milking It For All It’s Worth

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2018

Customer: “I’d like a medium latte.”

Me: “Do you have a milk preference for that?”

Customer: “One-percent milk.”

Me: “We only have two-percent and skim.”

Customer: “Can you mix them together?”

Unlucky For Some

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

My family recently took a trip to Boston for a long weekend. We flew up early Saturday morning and were returning home late Tuesday evening. Since we got in so early, around nine am, my mom paid a little extra for the hotel to give us early check-in, so we could get settled before heading back out.

We were given the room 444, which I chuckled at, having recently learned that the number 4 is like 13 in China: bad luck. We went up to our room only to find a woman already there, in her pajamas. We went back to the lobby to clear it up.

As it was so early, breakfast was going on, so my brother and I went to eat something. Our mom came back about twenty minutes later with new room keys. Apparently, the night auditor had let their friend use an unbooked room, thinking that no one would be in there until the regular check-in time.

My mom got the extra fee waived for her troubles, and we got an extra breakfast. We came out positive in my book, but I don’t think the night auditor can say the same.

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