Charged Up With Unrighteous Indignation

, , , | Learning | September 1, 2017

(I am a student employee at a fine arts college, where I work on the stage crew for student productions. For some reason, a summer camp the college runs has requested a concert hall so they can draw posters, so my coworker and I have to be present, even though there’s nothing for us to do. It’s important to note WE ARE NOT STAFF for this program, and have absolutely zero obligation to help these kids. We’re basically there to make sure no one breaks or steals any of the expensive equipment in the room. One of the campers breaks off from the group and approaches us at the sound-board at the far end of the hall.)

Camper: “Hey, I was wondering if you guys had a phone charger I could use?”

Coworker: “I don’t; I’m sorry.”

([Camper] pointedly looks at my laptop, which I’m using to charge my phone.)

Me: “Sorry, I’m using my cord right now.”

Camper: “Well, I’m only on two percent. What percent are YOU on?”

(My coworker and I look at him in silence for several seconds.)

Me: “Are you serious right now?”

Camper: “…fine.”

Customer Service Makes You Want To Die

, , , , | Right | August 26, 2017

(We offer a lot of unique cards for all occasions. But after the holidays, our supplies are usually pretty low until we get new shipment in. A customer, roughly in her late forties to early fifties, approaches me.)

Customer: “Can you show me where your sympathy cards are?”

Me: “Right this way. They’ll be along this wall.”

Customer: “Are these all you have?”

Me: “Yes, these would be it. We’re still getting shipments in to recover from the holiday season.”

Customer: “People die a lot during the holidays.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that…”

Customer: “No, no. It’s for the best.”

Me: *unsure what to say*

Customer: “I mean, everyone’s going to die. It’s just a matter of time. And it’s better for them. They go to a better place. You’d better brace yourself. Because one day, everyone you know will just start dropping dead.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “But it always leaves new openings for new beginnings.”

Me: *scrambling for anything to say in response* “Right. Like how the tarot card for death means the end of something so that something else can take its place.”

Customer: “Exactly. And it will be better. So it’s good that people die.”

(I am called away to ring people up, so I am working the cash register when she is checking out.)

Customer: *as she’s leaving* “Live life! Life is short! Your youth isn’t a guarantee!”

Me: “Have a good day?”

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