Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

, , , , , , , , | Right | March 22, 2010

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “You’ve got an accent.”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve heard that. I’m not from here.”

Customer: “You’re American?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m from upstate New York.”

Customer: “But American, right? You’ve got a visa? You need one to work here?”

Me: “No, I don’t have a visa–”

Customer: “Holy s***! You’re illegal? They know you’re illegal here?”

Me: “I’m not illegal. I’m from upstate New York, near Canada.”

Customer: “Oh, if you’re from Canada, you’re not really illegal then. Canada’s like America, just different. Welcome to our country. I’m looking for a book. You probably only read books in Canadian, but I can help you with the language and you can find me a book here.”

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No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | March 15, 2010

Customer: “Hi, you guys were supposed to send me an email, and I haven’t gotten it yet.”

Me: “Okay, I see we sent that email at 3:05 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Can you confirm your email address is [email address]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it. What time did you send it?”

Me: “3:05 p.m. Eastern Time.”

Customer: “Oh, okay; that’s why. I’m in Central Time, so it’ll take an hour to get here. Thanks!”

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Swimming With The Phishes

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2010

Caller: “I never give my card to anyone! You must have randomly charged it! I demand a refund!”

Me: “Well, I’d be happy to assist your bank in their review of these charges.”

Caller: “No, you won’t! You stole my card! How did you guys get it, anyway?”

(I explain here that the card was likely compromised through either a card scanner or through a phishing email. After I explain what a phishing email is…)

Caller: “Wait… so, could it have been that Australian Lottery that I won?”

Me: “I would say almost certainly, sir.”

Caller: “So, I’m not going to get that prize?”

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Canada: America’s Hat

, , , , , , | Right | February 3, 2010

(The customer’s total is $9.67. She hands me a ten-dollar bill and three Canadian quarters.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t accept this change.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s 67 cents and I gave you 75.”

Me: “Right, but this is Canadian currency.”

Customer: “So? They’re still quarters.”

Me: “Right, but they’re Canadian Quarters. I can’t accept foreign currency.”

Customer: “Canada’s not foreign! It’s in America!”

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