Management Abhors A Vacuum

, , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(Our store has just closed for the night, and my manager has ordered me to vacuum the store with our old canister vacuum. After a long false start, I approach my manager.)

Me: “I’m having a problem with the vacuum cleaner.”

Manager: “What is it?”

Me: “I’ve got absolutely no suction. I’m running the head all along the carpet and I can’t pick up anything. Even the lightest little piece of dust doesn’t move when I run the vacuum over it. I’ve checked the connections and all along the hose, but I can’t find any break in the seal or anything. I’m really not sure what to do now.”

Manager: “Just finish vacuuming.”

Me: *pause* “But the vacuum doesn’t work. It can’t pick anything up.”

Manager: “I know. Just vacuum, anyway.”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I spend fifteen minutes running the vacuum head over every exposed inch on the floor, picking up absolutely nothing. As I’m finishing and putting the vacuum away, my manager looks at the floor and says:)

Manager: “Good job.”

(I get paid the same whether the vacuum worked or not, so if this is what the manager wants, that’s what she gets.)

Holding You Up To A Lens

, , , , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(My boss fancies herself a photographer, and she has just purchased a new, very high-end camera.)

Boss: “Darn it. I smudged the lens again!” *starts using inside of flannel shirt to clean the lens*

Me: “I have a extra microfiber cloth I can give you—”

Boss: “Nope! I got it!” *continues using flannel shirt* “Just seems to be smudging it all over the lens this time.”

Me: “I also have moist lens wipes; they’re safe for cameras and glasses—”

Boss: “Nope! I got it! It’s almost clean. Just wish these lenses would last longer than they do…” *continues wiping lens with flannel shirt*

Letting That Minute Sink In For A Minute

, , , , , , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(We have [Manager #1] who is notorious for not knowing how long a task is going to take. If he claims that it will only take “a minute,” it usually takes fifteen. If he says, “fifteen minutes,” it can be up to two hours.)

Manager #2: *over walkie-talkie* “Hey, guys, we’re running behind today. Can anyone stay fifteen minutes after their shift to help finish this up?”


Manager #2: “Anyone? Anyone at all?”


Manager #2: “Guuuuyyys, I mean fifteen actual minutes, not fifteen [Manager #1] minutes!”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, okay. I can stay for that long.”

Coworker #2: “Me, too.”

Coworker #3: “Sure!”

(I was laughing too hard to chime in, but I did stay to help for those fifteen minutes, too.)

Sarah Connor’s Pharmacy Job

, , , , , , , | Working | February 21, 2018

(I get a job at a small pharmacy as a cashier. The job involves a lot more than just simple cashiering, but I catch on quite quickly, and within a month the possibility of increasing my hours is discussed. The store then goes under new owners, but all the cashiers are kept on staff, and assured that their jobs are secure. Fast forward to my next shift. This takes place in July.)

Owner: “[My Name], can you come into the office for a minute? I just want to have a quick word.”

Me: “Sure!” *thinking the uniforms he ordered for us had come in*

Owner: “I’ve been thinking it over, and this really isn’t a job that can be done part-time. In order to stay up to date on all the policies and information, everyone really has to be here full-time. With all the students leaving soon to go back to school, I’ve decided that it would be easiest to let all the students go now.”

Me: “Okay…” *thinking I’m about to be offered the full-time position, as I’m not a student*

Owner: “I’m sorry; I just find it easiest to terminate people before their shift starts.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Owner: “As of right now, you’re terminated.”

Me: “But I’m not a student.”

Owner: *shocked* “What?! You’re not?”

Me: “No. I’ve been out of high school for a few years, and am holding off on going to college.”

Owner: “Oh, nobody told me that.”

Me: “So, is there any way I could be kept on, full-time?”

Owner: “I would have to think about it.”

Me: *blank look*

Owner: “You see, I already filled the full-time positions, and filed the termination paperwork. If you want to reapply, I’ll consider rehiring you if something falls through with one of the new employees, but all but one have already accepted the job, and I already offered it to the other one.”

Me: “Okay, then. When does the termination take effect?”

Owner: “Right now. I did it now because it’s easiest to do it, and get it done within the first three months.”

(I was too shocked in the moment to say anything, but once I processed what had happened, I was — and still am — livid. How incompetent must one be to skip something so basic as reading employee files BEFORE terminating them, to ensure they’re actually being fired for a legitimate reason?)

Lack Of Instruction Will Lead To Destruction

, , , , | Working | February 21, 2018

(One of the managers at my new job is a lovely woman, very encouraging and helpful, but cannot give directions to save her life. I have just finished her request: printing out product orders, POs, stapled together in fives or so, along with a batch of original documents. I have probably gone through a small rainforest printing all these things out. It’s for a big festival, so there’s a LOT of products being ordered.)

Me: “Okay, here you go! One stack of originals, one stack of POs, and here’s the ones the computer didn’t like.”

Manager: “I’ll teach you how to deal with those…” *looks at stacks* Oh, dear.”

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Manager: “I forgot to tell you I wanted the POs stapled to the originals, not together.”

Me: *looks at stack of papers in horror*

(She did apologize, but I’m still trying to figure out a nice way to word the question, “And are those ALL the instructions?”)

Page 9/75First...7891011...Last
« Previous
Next »