(My store manager likes to have a finger in every pie — be involved everywhere — but really isn’t beneficial anywhere. When she first started, I thought she was just acquainting herself with all parts of the store. Now that she’s been here for over six months, it’s clear to the everyday staff that she is basically BS-ing her way through every day. I am covering a register shift one day when a regular customer approaches. The store manager stands behind the register, watching over my shoulder.)

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Regular]. How are you today?”

Regular: “Any day above ground is a good day.”

Me: “That it is. Did you—“

Manager: “Hello, sir! I’m [Manager], the new store manager here. Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Regular: *looks at me* “Uh… I did.”

Manager: “Wonderful! Here at [Store], we strive for 100% customer satisfaction!”

Regular: “Okay.” *to me* “Uh, could you…? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

Me: “Of course, Mr. [Regular].”

(As I’m ringing up his purchases, the store manager is laying on the charm, repeatedly patting herself on the back by telling him about how things have “improved” since she took over. She even implies that she’s weeded out the bad staff members, leaving only the best of the best.)

Regular: *makes eye contact with me and grins* “Oh, yeah. [Former Coworker] is working for [Competitor] now.”

Manager: “Yes, unfortunately, some people do not fit in as well as they thought they would.”

Regular: “Shame. She loved it here.”

Manager: “It is unfortunate, but we have high standards for our employees. If you don’t make the cut, maybe someone else will take you!”

Me: *trying not to smile* “Here’s your receipt, Mr. [Regular]. See you again soon.”

Manager: “Don’t forget to take the customer satisfaction survey at the bottom of your receipt to be entered to win a $100 gift card! And from all of us at [Store], thank you for shopping with us today!”

Regular: *laughing* “Oh, I won’t forget. Have a good day!”

(The regular customer leaves and the manager’s demeanor changes immediately. She huffs and rolls her eyes.)

Manager: “I hate when people do that.”

Me: “Do what?”

Manager: “Talk about old staff. If I fired someone, it was for a good reason!”

Me: “But [Former Coworker] quit.”

Manager: *glares at me* “It doesn’t matter. Terminated is terminated. Why does he care anyway?”

Me: “Well, that was [Former Coworker]’s father…”

(The manager turned a lovely shade of red and hid in the office for the next half hour. Later that evening, my former coworker texted me to tell me she’d heard what happened. Her father did fill out that customer satisfaction survey and included everything the store manager said. Unfortunately, she’s still my manager.)

(I’m on the bus on my way home when I get a call from work.)

Me: “Hello.”

Supervisor: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Supervisor]. I was wondering if there’s any chance you’d be able to work tomorrow?”

Me: “Um, I’m actually already working tomorrow.”

Supervisor: “Really? What time?”

Me: “Ten to three, same as every week.”

Supervisor: “Oh, that’s the shift I wanted you to work. I guess [Department Manager] cut your shift and didn’t tell you. We need someone to work it. Can you do it?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I am in a liquor store purchasing some items for me and my fiancée. We have been on a hard iced tea kick lately, and the store has a “make your own six pack” special going. I build a six pack and also grab two boxes of packaged drinks. The cashier looks to be a man in his late forties or early fifties. The economy has been terrible in my province lately, and I speculate to myself that he’s been laid off from a previous job and has taken this to make ends meet.)

Cashier: “Hi there. How are you today?”

Me: “Fine, thanks. How are you?”

Cashier: “Oh, not too bad. This is everything for you?”

Me: “Yes, thanks.”

(He picks up one of the sealed packaged boxes, scans it, sets it to the side, and then notices my pick-your-own set. He immediately looks nervous.)

Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m not totally sure why, but we’re supposed to scan those ones first; I think it’s so you get the discount. I’ll need a supervisor to start the transaction again.”

Me: “No problem.”

(The cashier tries to flag down the supervisor on duty, who is chatting with other customers, assumedly family or friends as she is holding their baby and they are all laughing. She is totally oblivious that the cashier needs her.)

Cashier: “I’m so sorry. I’m new and I don’t have the authority to override.”

Me: “It’s no problem, really.”

(He keeps waving and calling her. Still no response. He turns to me looking nervous.)

Me: “I have nowhere else to be. Honestly, it’s okay.”

(Finally, the supervisor notices the line not moving. She comes over and voids the transaction so he can start again.)

Cashier: “Thanks for your patience. Some of these systems just… They’re a bit difficult.”

Me: “New jobs are always tough. You’re doing great. Thank you for making sure I got my discount. I hope to see you again!”

Cashier: “Thank you so much. Have a great day.”

(The poor guy. I wonder if other customers had been hard on him or if he was just nervous that he would do a poor job. A job is a job these days; I commend anyone who has to take a less paying job to make ends meet after being laid off. I hope he’s had a better experience since that day!)

(My general manager is a very nervous woman. I can’t say that I blame her; she has a lot of unfair pressure put on her by the company to change things that nobody can control. The guy above her, the district manager, is visiting us before the store opens. He absolutely terrifies her, and she typically responds to that fear by yelling at us or micromanaging. I am helping the copy center lead with some jobs that needed to be completed by the time the store opens for customers to pick up. A few days ago, corporate sent us files with sample banners to be printed and hung up in the vestibule to push some sale on indoor and outdoor banners. Corporate stated in their email that the banners were to be hung up by this day at the latest.)

General Manager: “[Lead], where are those banners? They need to be hung up today!”

Copy Center Lead: “They’re printed. I just need to finish these orders before 8:00.”

General Manager: “Well, they need to go up before we open.”

Copy Center Lead: “We’re working as fast as we can.”

General Manager: “They’re supposed to be up today.”

Copy Center Lead: *calmly* “They will be, but I have two customers coming in first thing and they need these orders done.”

(The general manager scurries away and we continue working. A few minutes later, she returns.)

General Manager: “Are you done yet? Those banners need to be hung before 8:00!”

Copy Center Lead: *still calm, as if soothing a child* “[General Manager], we will get them up; we are almost finished with these orders.”

General Manager: *half panicked, half bossy* “You have to do them now. They have to be up before the store opens! You had days to do it; they have to be up today!”

(She’s right; they did have several days to put the banners up, but the copy center is the most understaffed and overworked department of all. All of our customers love the lead and she has personally turned the department from a slow, money-losing department to an extremely busy, always profitable one. Unfortunately, the other people in the department either cannot or will not keep up her pace, so she is often left rushing to finish orders.)

Copy Center Lead: *slowly* “What would you like me to do? Make the customers wait, or put up the banners when I’m finished?”

General Manager: *really panicking now* “The banners need to go up. I don’t understand why you are always rushing at the last minute to get these orders done. Isn’t anyone else doing anything at night? I don’t understand why this is always an issue. The banners have to be up before the store opens.”

(Little does the general manager know, the district manager is standing behind her, mocking her with a “talking hand” and a screwed-up “angry face.” She turns around and he drops the act, keeping a neutral expression on his face.)

General Manager: *sees him and scurries off again*

District Manager: “What the f*** is her problem?”

(The banners went up, the orders were finished, and the store somehow avoided bursting into flames when we hung the last banner up at 8:01. If the general manager hadn’t always been so freaked out by anyone with authority over her, she could have seen that the district manager was a really chill guy who wasn’t out to get her. Yes, he’s had to be tough on her before, but that was after his superiors were screaming down the line at him.)

(My best friend and I are working at the same store. I work with our general merchandise, while he works in a specialized department that includes minor repair work and installation. On this day, shortly before his shift is set to start, I receive a text from him.)

Friend’s Text: “Hey, I was just in a car accident. Some guy rear-ended me. I’m okay, but I have to go to the hospital and get some x-rays and stuff. My neck and back are hurting really badly.”

My Response: “OMG! I’m glad you’re okay! I’ll tell [General Manager] for you.”

(I hunt down the general manager.)

Me: “Hey, [Friend] just texted me and told me that he was in a car accident. His neck and back are all messed up and they have to take him to the ER to get checked out.”

General Manager: *immediately panicked* “Is he coming in later?”

Me: “Um… I kind of doubt it…”

(It’s around 4:00 pm and the store is only open five more hours.)

General Manager: “Can you find out?”

Me: “Okay.”

(I pull out my phone and head back to where I was working.)

Me: “[General Manager] wants to know if you think you’ll be in later.”

Friend: “Yeah, no. I’m in an ambulance. My car is f***** up. My back is f***** up.”

Me: “Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

(Lucky me, I got to break the “bad news” to the general manager. She rushed off to try to find coverage for his department, not saying another word about him to me. The accident was bad enough to more or less ruin his spine, and he’s still suffering from it many years later. He was put on light duty by a doctor and wasn’t allowed to lift more than five pounds. They discovered a long time after that his hip had been dislocated and have been attempting to correct it. Yes, he was not in danger of losing his life, but I’ll never forget how ridiculous her response to the situation was.)