Never Get Tired Of Heroes

, , , , | Working | November 22, 2018

(My one-year-old car has been making an odd sound ever since I got it inspected at the dealership. I have taken it back twice, but they tell me it’s fine. I am now at the tire shop, buying snow tires.)

Tire Shop Owner: “Okay, I’ve got those tires you want in stock. With mounting and installation, the total will be [amount].”

Me: “Great. Can we get them on today?”

Tire Shop Owner: “I’m actually pretty slow today. You can have a seat; I’ll pull the car in, get the guys working, and then come out and finish the payment.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(I sit down to wait. I see him pull the car in and put it up on the lift, and he and a worker move towards the tires. The worker stops suddenly and calls over the boss, and they both look at the tire. Then the owner bursts into the waiting room.)

Tire Shop Owner: *yelling* “Who was the last person to take off your tires?!”

Me: “Um, I can’t remember. Oh! I guess they took them off to inspect brakes when I had it inspected.”

Tire Shop Owner: “WHERE?!”

Me: “Uh, the dealership, on [Street].”

(He marches back out to the car, checks the inspection stickers, and storms back into the waiting room. He grabs a sheet of paper off the desk and violently punches numbers into the phone. I can, of course, only hear his side of the conversation.)

Tire Shop Owner: “Yeah, it’s [Tire Shop Owner]. Put [Employee] on NOW!… [Employee]! I have [My Name] here, getting snow tires. She says your guys were the last ones to take off tires. Her car was inspected on [date]… YES! There’s a problem! My guys just took off lug nuts with their fingers!

(At this point he launches into an expletive-filled rant about the dangers, talks about how I should be suing them, threatens to never recommend them again. I actually lose some of the conversation because he’s yelling so loud and there are so many expletives thrown in that I am having a hard time not laughing. He finally hangs up and turns to me.)

Tire Shop Owner: “Ma’am, I am so sorry. You should not have had to listen to that. I’m going to be taking something off your bill today as an apology for my behavior. That just wasn’t right.”

(I’m stunned into silence for a second.)

Me: “You’re apologizing for screaming at the service manager who told me repeatedly that my car was fine when it was actually dangerous? No, you’re not taking something off the bill. I should actually be paying extra for this. He’s been nothing but trouble, but the car is still under warranty and they are the only dealership around.”

Tire Shop Owner: “Well, I don’t think he’ll be a problem anymore. If he is, tell him you’re calling me.”

(We finished the transaction and I took the car home. By the time I got there, I had a message from the dealership owner, apologizing and telling me that I had a credit on my account for a free inspection next year. When I went in the next time, the service manager was afraid to make eye contact.)

How Many Ways Can You Translate “Irony”?

, , , , | Learning | November 22, 2018

Boss: “The college bought four Rosetta Stones—” *expensive language teaching software* “—a few years back, and since they are expensive, we currently do not have plans or funds to buy more. So, when we need more for the students to use, we’ll make a copy of the original disk and label them accordingly.”

(Literally two seconds later:)

Boss: “Also, [My Name], if you see any of the students with their phones out taking pictures of the screen while they are using the program, you need to stop them, because that’s stealing.”


A Product Of Fraudulent Taxes

, , , , , | Legal | November 21, 2018

(I work for a woman who has a fashion and jewelry import business, and she is trying to set up sales reps in other cities. She has just sent one rep a sales kit of some somewhat pricey jewelry, and the rep has ghosted us, stealing the jewelry. My boss’s solution for this?)

Boss: “Well… tax season is coming soon; maybe we’ll just 1099 her for it.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Boss: “We can say the product was her payment and put it on her 1099! Then we’ll get it as a tax credit, and she’ll have to pay for it in her taxes.”

Me: “Uh…”

Boss: “We can even say the product was worth a lot more! Like, we can put [amount ten times the product’s value].”

(I’m starting to feel like this is sketchy.)

Me: “I don’t think we can. That’s fraud.”

Boss: “Who’s going to find out?”

Me: “[Rep] will report us to the IRS.”

Boss: *most arrogant tone possible* “How can she? She’s the one committing a crime!”

Me: “She has proof the items in her kit weren’t really worth that much. We sent out a packing list to all the reps, saying what products we sent them and what the value was.”

Boss: *deflated, so disappointed she doesn’t get to commit tax fraud* “Oh, yeah. Okay, so we can’t do that… but we can still put the value of products she got on her 1099 as compensation!”

Me: “I don’t think this is a good idea. Why don’t we just contact the police in her state and report that she committed theft?”

Boss: “That’s too hard.”

(Her accountant, who was probably also kind of shady, said that “payment in product” was a totally legit thing to put on a 1099, so as far as I know she went ahead with this scam. I don’t know; I quit — after tax season, to make sure she didn’t get mad at me and send me a bogus 1099 saying I had been “paid in product” ten times more than my actual salary — and got a job where the boss didn’t try to implicate me in fraud. My old boss is still in business, last I heard. I feel bad for her employees.)

Now Interviewing For A New Interviewer

, , , , , , | Working | November 20, 2018

(I have been trying to get a job for over a month, with over sixty job applications, several interviews, and no luck. Today, I have a scheduled interview with a manufacturing company for a data-entry job. I enter the interview room after I am called.)

Interviewer: “Mr. [My Name], yes?” *takes out my CV and starts reading it* “[My address], huh? What, daddy didn’t give you enough money?”

(I am livid. While we do live in a rich neighbourhood, my life is nowhere near what would be considered rich. The only reason we live there is that we bought the land when it was still cheap and a normal neighbourhood. My dad has been retired for over a year, as well, and I was barred from getting a job before I finished my first year of university. I snatch my CV from the jerk’s hand and go home. When I get home and check my phone, there are eight missed calls from the same company. Then another call comes in. I pick it up.)

Man: “Is this Mr. [My Name]?”

Me: “What do you want?”

Man: “I’m [Man], sir, and I’d like to apologize for what my ex-colleague has done. His behaviour was completely unacceptable. I can assure you he has been dealt with. Would you like to reschedule another interview?”

(I end up declining as the traffic in that area was rather rough, but I was glad that the jerk didn’t get away scot-free.)

This Is The Dehumanized Checkout

, , , , , , | Right | November 20, 2018

(I am a cashier in a membership-based wholesale warehouse. We have a food court that is located past the registers; the food court takes only cash. If a member doesn’t have cash, they are directed to the registers where a cashier can ring them up for the food in advance so they can use credit. Most people assume that they can just cut the line — which is almost always long — and pay for the food; this is not the case. I am in the middle of a transaction with a member when I notice a lady hovering towards the end of the register. I assume she is with the member I am currently ringing up so I just smile at her and continue the transaction. When I am finished, I wish the member a good night and start the next transaction. The lady at the end doesn’t leave with the previous member so I turn my attention to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you were with the member I was just ringing up, since you were standing at the end of the register. Can I help you?”

Member: “Yes, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I am sorry, but did I do something to upset you? Maybe I can address it.”

Member: “No, it wasn’t you; it was her.” *points at a coworker working nearby*

Me: “Oh, okay, let me grab my supervisor.”

Member: “While you’re at it, ring me up for food. That’s why I was standing here.”

Me: “Oh, I am so sorry, but you are technically supposed to wait in line to pay for food with credit, but maybe you were misinformed about the procedure. Let me finish this transaction and I will ring you up real quick.”

Member: “And don’t forget to get your manager!”

(I realize that she is about to complain about me, and she said it was about my coworker so that I would willingly get a manager thinking I wasn’t in trouble. Knowing this, and also knowing that I did nothing wrong, I grab the supervisor I know pretty well, and who is fully aware that I would never insult or be rude to a customer. My supervisor pulls her to the side where she starts shrieking and pointing at me hysterically. A senior manager gets involved and she shrieks even more. The manager takes her to the refund register where I notice he is giving her the food for free. He and my supervisor later approach me.)

Manager: “That member claimed you made her feel inhuman, and were purposely ignoring her at the end of your register, like an animal. It was as if you personally did not like her and refused to even pretend that she existed. She said she never felt so ignored or dehumanized in her life.”

Me: “She was not standing in line, sir. She was at the end of the register where we load the carts, and she didn’t say a word, so I assumed she was with the member I was currently ringing.”

Manager: “Yes, that would make sense, now, wouldn’t it? But no, she expected you to somehow know she was standing in the wrong place because she wanted food, and when you didn’t acknowledge the food she wanted but did not tell you about, that was terrible customer service and you should be fired.”

Me: “Yes, here we are supposed to read minds. Right, so, I’m fired?”

Manager: “No, I gave her the food for free, and now I am pretending to yell at you until she leaves.”

(I would like to note that since then I have been promoted, and I am now the supervisor that has to deal with these types of people. I never let members step all over my cashiers, and NEVER give them anything for free when my cashiers are simply just doing their jobs.)

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