Having A Crush Can Be Cheesy

, , , , | Working | December 5, 2017

(I work in the deli of a big box store. Even though I have only been there two months, my manager keeps having me train people. This irritates me because it’s well beyond my pay grade. I tend to become snarky to certain questions because of this, especially when new hires say they have been in deli environments.)

New Hire: “Can you show me how to use the shrink wrapper again? Mine looks messy.”

(I don’t understand how wrapping opened cheese can be messed up, because it’s just plastic wrap on a slightly heated pad to make it stick better.)

Me: “Show me how you’re doing it.”

(She wraps the cheese and it looks fine.)

Me: “It’s fine. The only other thing some people do is take an extra ten seconds to set the edges on the heat pad so it sticks better if they have time.”

Trainee: “But it’s not pretty.”

Me: “These are opened cheeses we are slicing, not displaying. Do you have a crush on the provolone and feel the need to impress it?”

Princess Buttercup Had It Right All Along

, , , , , | Working | December 5, 2017

(My direct supervisor is six feet tall, built like a linebacker, and kind of gruff. I was initially very intimidated by him, but have since learned he’s actually very sweet. When we meet in the morning I always say, “What’s up, buttercup?” to him, and he fills me in on what happened the night before and what needs to be done today. He’s never told me he minds it. One day the manager, my supervisor’s boss, comes up to me.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can I talk to you for a second?”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

Manager: “You need to stop calling [Supervisor] ‘Buttercup.'”

Me: “What?”

Manager: “It’s demeaning. Stop doing it.”

Me: “Okay? I mean, sure. I’m sorry I made him uncomfortable or anything.”

Manager: “Thanks.”

(I feel bad that I made my supervisor uncomfortable and stop greeting him that way for a few days.)

Supervisor: “[My Name], are you feeling okay?”

Me: “Yes? Why, is there something on my face?”

Supervisor: “Well, you just haven’t said, ‘What’s up, buttercup?’ in a while.”

Me: *confused* “[Manager] told me to stop calling you that, though. He said it was demeaning. I assumed that you didn’t like it.”

Supervisor: “No! If I don’t like something, I’ll tell you, okay?”

Me: “Okay.”

(Later in the day, I see my supervisor and the manager talking. I need to ask my supervisor something, so I head over, just in time to hear my supervisor shout:)


(I didn’t hear what the manager said because I was so stunned. My supervisor later told me that the manager just didn’t like that a man was being called ‘buttercup.’ I’ve since gone back to my original greeting in the morning, because apparently being called ‘buttercup’ starts his day on a good note.)

The Only Thing You’re Washing Is Yourself Of This Job

, , , , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(I’m between jobs and doing temporary placements washing dishes to keep up. I’m doing a three-day job in my least favorite kitchen, which has by far the heaviest workload, despite servicing a canteen that’s open two hours a day, at an office in the middle of nowhere. Net result is that 90% of the food gets thrown away. On the third day, I get there, and I find the manager looking angry.)

Manager: “Where have you been?”

Me: “I’m due in at 10:00. It’s 9:50.”

Manager: “The others haven’t turned up. You should have coordinated and arranged to come in if they couldn’t make it!”

Me: “I… don’t know them outside work. If you needed me in earlier, you should have phoned me.”

Manager: “Well, you’d better sort this out now. We’ve had no one working pot wash all morning.”

(He shows me a station where no less than six trolleys are piled high with equipment.)

Me: “Wasn’t there anyone you could have assigned to it?”

(There are about 15 cooks working in this canteen.)

Manager: “I couldn’t spare anyone. Now get on with it!”

(I try my best, but things are piling up faster than I can wash them. After half an hour…)

Manager: “This pile’s bigger than it was before!”

Me: “I’m doing my best. This station is supposed to be run by three people.”

Manager: “Then pick up the pace. We need all this stuff in the next ten minutes!”

Me: “Or what? I’m not an expert, but I’ve seen [Big Restaurant] manage a whole day with half of what you’ve cooked so far. You’re cooking one meal, you’ve been cooking it since lunchtime yesterday, and there’s more food piled up than anywhere else I’ve worked. What do you think is going to happen if you have to wait ten minutes?”

(To my surprise, he can’t respond, but continues to shout at me. Fortunately, I get a call from a company I applied to inviting me to an interview. My contract allows me to use my phone, and I know they’ll offer the interview to someone else if I ask them to, so I find some jobs to do one-handed as I talk.)

Manager: “You need to turn that off!”

Me: *mouthing* “I need to take this.”

(He follows me round while I try to ignore him.)

Manager: “If you want to talk to your friends, I can send you home to do it!”

Me: *covers the speaker for a second* “Do it, then!”

(I dropped the tray I was carrying and left.)

Double Standards Need To Change

, , , , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(Every few days, a printing press needs to be shut down and cleaned because the ink spatters all over where it isn’t meant to be. The workers climb inside and wipe everything with solvent-soaked rags. Since it is a messy task, we put on disposable impermeable hooded jumpsuits [Tyveks AKA whitesuits], and since these factories are very hot, it’s common to take off your uniform to keep it free of sweat and solvent, and just go into the whitesuit in your underwear. The change rooms are a pain to get to; you have to cross the entire huge building, go upstairs, and come halfway back. Since it is 99% men working there, sometimes the guys just quickly go down to their boxers in some quiet corner and hope no woman walks by. As one of the rare women, I have to be a bit more private. I slip into this tiny closet that has a urinal in it; no running water, no sink. It is just a urinal that someone has connected to a drain [the bathrooms are too far away, too, so I guess people got desperate]. I have to move very carefully so I don’t get my clothes dirty, but I do it and swiftly get at my cleaning task. Later that day my supervisor calls me into the office and, WITHOUT EVEN CLARIFYING THAT THE GOSSIP HE’s HEARD IS TRUE, starts in on me about my inappropriate behavior.)

Supervisor: “Maybe you like the attention, but it’s not professional to give the guys a ‘show!’”

Me: “Huh?”

Supervisor: “[Guy I thought was my friend] told me! You changed clothes right in the middle of the factory floor instead of in the bathroom or change-room!”

Me: “Yes, I suppose technically I did… INSIDE the urinal closet. Why would I want pervs staring at me?!”

(I never even got an apology from either my boss for assuming the worst about me, or my “friend” for spreading rumors that made me seem indecent. That’s the reward I get for enduring the stench in that little closet, to save the company the ten minutes’ wasted time for me to walk to the proper change-room.)

They Need To Go On Gardening Leave

, , , , | Working | December 4, 2017

(It’s a sad fact that libraries often have to remove and delete old books from the shelves to make way for new ones, as we don’t have the space to keep all our books. We tend to call this process “weeding.” I’m on pretty friendly terms with my supervisor, and we occasionally talk about gardening and other things. Since I’ve been assigned a large weeding project just at the beginning of gardening season, I suppose it was inevitable that the following would happen:)

Supervisor: “How’s the weeding going?”

Me: “Oh, we haven’t started yet.”

Supervisor: “…”

Me: “Oh, you meant weeding the shelves! That’s going pretty well. I’m sorry; I thought you meant our garden.”

(We had a good laugh, at least.)

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