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Slacker Packer

, , , , | Working | March 29, 2016

(I work at a distributor’s warehouse as a pick/pack/ship foreman. Early in the morning, the boss is patrolling the floor and sees a packer just standing at his queue.)

Boss: “Everything okay? You don’t appear to have packed anything yet.”

Packer: “It’s fine.” *adds a book to the box* “I’m just taking a breather.”

Boss: “Fine, just make sure your queue doesn’t get backed up. These shipments need to go out today.”

(My boss walks off to take care of other matters and returns about an hour later. The packer is again just standing at his queue, which now has several more orders.)

Boss: “What are you doing? This is the same order you had when I was here last time.” *looks in the box* “You haven’t even added anything since I left. Get to work!”

(The packer begins to pack items. [Boss] goes to take care of other matters again and returns about another hour later. The packer is again just standing around. The queue is completely backed up. The same order is in front of him, partially packed.)

Boss: “Do you have a problem?”

Packer: “No.”

Boss: “I need workers, not slackers. Look, you have a choice. You can either do your job, or you can go home. At this point, I don’t care which.”

Packer: “Fine, I’m going home.”

(The packer leaves. [Boss] goes to his office and fills out a termination form for the packer. The next day, the packer comes into the warehouse and the boss stops him at the door.)

Boss: “What are you doing here?”

Packer: “I’m going to work.”

Boss: “No, you’re not. You quit yesterday.”

Packer: “No, I didn’t. You said I could go home.”

Boss: “You quit when you left the job site. Go home.”

(The boss shuts the door in his face and walks away. Later, an employee approaches the boss.)

Employee: “Do you know what’s wrong with [Packer]? He’s just standing by the door with his mouth gaping.”

Boss: “I’ll take care of it.” *to the packer* “You have five minutes to leave before I call security on you for trespassing.”


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The Ever-Growing Size Of Your Heart

, , , , | Working | March 28, 2016

(It’s fall, and we’re expecting it to be a cold early winter. I had previously made a comment to one of my managers about being worried about lack of money to buy winter apparel for my son, which is a large concern being a single mom in a minimum wage position. I’m at work when a supervisor who has a young daughter strikes up a conversation.)

Supervisor: “Oh, my goodness, my daughter is growing like a weed. It needs to stop.”

Me: “I know, right? They grow up too fast.”

Supervisor: “I know. So, what size is your son in now?”

Me: “Oh, he’s gotten so big. He’s in a ‘small boys’ now. Thankfully he’s only tall so he fits in a better range.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, my daughter is the same way, tall and thin. So, what shoe size does he wear?”

Me: “13 or 1, depending on the brand.”

Supervisor: “Oh, yeah, I know how it is. Some brands are too small.”

(It’s at this time I have to step away to help a customer at the cash registers but it’s only a couple hours later that another manager comes to me while I’m on register and tells me to turn off my light and meet her at the jewelry counter. After finishing up with my customer I head to the jewelry counter to find the manager who told me to meet her and the manager mentioned previously, at the jewelry register making a purchase. Manager #1 smiles at me and hands me a large bag.)

Manager #1: “Here you go; you mentioned not being able to afford winter things for your son.”

(Inside the bag was a winter jacket, snow pants, new boots, winter hat, and gloves. It was at this point I started crying and hugging both the managers. It came out that the supervisor had been in on this, and had been fishing for information with her small talk. Not even twenty minutes later, after calming down, my HR manager came through my line at the register and bought new cold weather pants and socks for my son. I couldn’t even cry at this because I still had customers and she walked away, telling me to pick up the clothes in her office. There may be issues at my work but my managers and supervisors are the best.)

We Unclearly Love Animals

, , , , , | Working | March 7, 2016

(There’s a customer with a dog on a leash in our store. There is absolutely no indication that the dog is a service animal.)

Supervisor: “Excuse me, sir! Dogs are not allowed in this store!”

Customer: “Yes, they are! The sign next to your door says so!”

Supervisor: “What?!”

(My supervisor walks over to the entrance and takes a brief glimpse of the little sign that is our animals policy.)

Supervisor: “Okay, so, you were right. My apologies, sir.”

(The customer walks off and resumes shopping with his dog.)

Supervisor: “Man, I can’t believe [Store] allows customers to bring their pets!”

Me: “Actually, they don’t. Only service animals are allowed.”

Supervisor: “I just read the sign!”

Me: “Did you read ALL of it, though?”

(Instead of using a standard service animals sign, our head office opted for a humorous approach. On top, the sign reads “WE LOVE ANIMALS” in big, bold letters. At the bottom, in much smaller letters, it reads “…We’d love to see your dog, cat, or boa constrictor, but we ask that you leave your pets at home. Only service dogs are allowed.” I explain this to my supervisor.)

Me: “The sign still says that dogs aren’t allowed except for service dogs. It’s just the PR department being stupid because they think their bland corporate humor is comedy gold.”

Supervisor: “D*** it! Well, I’m still gonna let him shop with his dog because it’s too late to take it back.”

(At the end of the day, I guess we all have a little customer in us. Selective reading goes both ways, it seems.)


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Introductions Lead To Career Destructions

, , , | Working | February 26, 2016

(My manager calls me to the back.)

Manager: “Okay, so, about yesterday…”

(She pauses, like I should remember what happened.)

Me: “Err, okay.”

Manager: “So, when [Corporate #1] and [Corporate #2] talked to me, I explained that you’re a veteran, and you are more forward and formal than most, because you’re used to a ranking system.”

Me: *very confused* “Okay…?”

Manager: “They were both unsure about it, but I assured them you are a good worker. So you have nothing to worry about.”

Me: “Thanks?”

Manager: “Awesome. Now, about the shipping today…”

(Best as I could deduce: the previous day, two ladies from corporate had come down and were hanging out in the work area. Not knowing them, I went up and introduced myself. Apparently, they thought me to be either aggressive, rude, or just odd, but they reported it to my manager, who excused my behavior because “she just got out of the Army.” Frankly, I have no memory of this incident, but I’ve never had a problem with anyone since, so I’m assuming I’m good.)


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Thanks But No Thanksgiving

, , | Working | December 18, 2015

(I work for a popular retail chain. At our store, it is normally expected to have all hands on deck for Black Friday and days off had to typically be secured months in advance. However, in what turned out to be my last November there, we had recently hired so many people that a good handful of regulars weren’t scheduled for that day. Curious, I ask one of the managers if that’s accurate.)

Manager: “Yeah, we’ve got more than enough coverage all day long, even for Black Friday. Enjoy the turkey hangover!”

(I make sure to ask several times of different managers during the two weeks between when the schedule was posted and when BF finally rolls around, and am always given the same answer. Finally, on the day before Thanksgiving, the one manager I haven’t talked to because I never am in at the same time that she is — the one in charge of scheduling, coincidentally — approaches me.)

Scheduling Manager: “Hey, we’re going to need you in on Friday.”

Me: “Um… excuse me? I wasn’t scheduled.”

Scheduling Manager: “Things changed. You need to come in.”

Me: “I can’t. I already made plans to go see family out of state, since I was assured by everyone short of the district manager that the schedules were accurate.”

Scheduling Manager: “We had two people already need to drop out, so you need to come in.”

Me: “Hang on, you’re trying to tell me that two people who WERE scheduled are okay to leave, but when I wasn’t scheduled I’m in trouble for not being able to come in!?”

Scheduling Manager: “Look at it this way; it just goes to show how valuable you are to the company! See you Friday.”

Me: “I’m not going to be here Friday, sorry.”

(No, the scheduling manager wasn’t particularly popular with that sort of condescending attitude. No, I didn’t go in. No, I didn’t feel bad when a couple months later I got a better job offer, and she tried to chew me out for not giving “enough advance warning” besides my two-week’s notice!)